there will be a day 100 years from now

when new technology will baffle us too

and we will look silly in front of the world

and all of our teenage interns will be out scoring weed instead of making sure we dont look bad in front of our endearing audience.

and people will point and laugh and laugh and laugh

and no matter what i am doing then, andy rooney will still be able to say

“yes but i have had the easiest job of all time”

did you have a peaceful restful sexy weekend?


i ate a lot. as is my nature. i watched tv alot, as is my wont.

theres not a lot of things i want in life.

the more i think about it the more i think im a gemini.

theres parts of me that wants to kick so much ass, then theres parts that wants to watch tv forever.

you get spoiled sometimes and everything comes to you and you lay there and click and its so nice.

then sometimes you go out into the cold cruel world with your bat and you hit people over the head and you drag back your treasure and you say yeah that was worth it.

each thing is boring after a while. super boring. and each thing is wonderful.

other day i went to this hipster hang and ordered a shepards pie.

the shepards pie was so not boring. it looked like a bowl of cheese, for starters.

but as you shoved your spoon in there you dug into ground beef. so not lean beef.

there were spices in there because shepard isnt in season right now and i had an apple juice and i was there with a beautiful girl.

i was hungover and feeling every day of my 104 years and she had a healthy sensible brunch.

later that night we ate himalayan food.

last time i drank Yeti beer but it was too hairy. so this time i had Karma which went down smooth.

the waitress said thats cuz you must have good karma.

i said how can you tell?

she said if you have bad karma it tastes like backwash.

as we waited for our check we overheard this couple talking. the boy sounded like it was their first date, my date said.

and that next morning i woke up and went to the grocery store for OJ and i saw the same couple we sat next to at himalyan food and the girl had the same dress on.

and i was all omg how cute slash scandalous.

and i had the same clothes on too 😉