it just dawned on me that i’ll never be a colonel

COLONEL SANDERSwhich means i’ll never be a major

or a captain

or a lieutenant

or a general

or an admiral

which means i’ll never even be a rear admiral

who doesnt wanna be a rear admiral?

since i was a kid playing cowboys and indians, i was always saying fuck that i wanna be the rear admiral.

all the other kids would say aint no rear admiral in cowboys and injuns

and id say omg look over there!

and theyd turn around to where i was pointing

and id kick em right in the rear

and run and say TELL YOUR MOMMA YOU WERE KICKED IN THE REAR FROM REAR ADMIRAL PIERCE

OF THE F U PLATOON.

but what i really wanted was to be a colonel.

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