and i’ll never produce “Walk on the Wild Side” for him

i’ll never be the coolest dude in a photo when the other two are from the Stones and the Who

i’ll never always have the perfect expression on my face

my second wife will not be a super hot somalian super model who stays out of the news

i’ll never wear clothes that makes my eye patch seem like the obvious perfect accessory

i’ll never write “Fame” with John Lennon

i’ll never write “Under Pressure” with Freddie Mercury

i’ll never look menacingly ice cold in my mug shot with one blue eye and one brown eye

when i take my baby out on a stroll i’ll never look ridiculously amazing

but i do hope to shake hands with iggy pop in red square one day

so thank you david bowie for the inspiration!