this little little kid

interviewed me the other day and since shes not gonna put it on her site, she said i could put it on mine.

lily: hi my names lily whats yours?

me: tony

lily: i like your stuff.

me: thank you.

lily: how many fingers are you?

me: everyones got the tough questions right away.

lily: oh, come on, dont be a baby.

lily: how many fingers?

me: this many.

lily: whats your favorite sport?

me: bowling.

lily: i like french fries at the bowling

me: me too, its the only place that i like them with ketchup

lily: why do you spell it that way?

me: spell what what way?

lily: catsup. you spell it weird.

me: i spell lots of things weird.

lily: what do you do for your job.

me: im an editor

lily: is that like a doctor?

me: no, i correct peoples spelling.

lily: you?

me: can you believe it.

lily: well, lots of things fascinate me. i just spent an hour in this box i discovered.

me: look out for the heavy staples in those boxes.

lily: yeah, thanks. now you tell me.

me: sorry.

lily: ok, gotta go

me: so soon?

lily: i mean poopies.

me: oh, go for it.

lily: but i should go anyway, im bored.

me: ok, nice chatting with you.

lily: bye!

Hey Tony,

You’re not being linked to from Turkey (at least not in the link you gave.) That link you gave is a Hungarian site (the “.hu” is a dead giveaway), and as a native Turkish speaker, I can tell you that there’s not a single word of Turkish there.

Of course, being linked to from Hungary is just as cool as Turkey.

Keep up the good work,

Your Turkish Fan

Jay Dough

Thank you Jay. Thank you for proving to the world that i’m not nearly as smart as my writing staff makes me out to be.

In reality, I think im very much like most americans when i say that – not that im proud of my ignorance – i couldnt tell you where Turkey or Hungary are on a map. Honestly, I bet most Americans wouldn’t be able to identify 40 of the 50 states.

But the people who read this blog are not most Americans. The readers here are the creme of the crop. The Upper Crust. The Chosen Ones. The Beautiful People.

We know where all the states are.

But for those of you who didnt know where Turkey is on the map, here’s a map of Turkey for your ass.

And for those of you who didnt know where Hungary is on the map, here’s a map of Hungary.

And for Ken Layne and my ex-girlfriend Jeanine, here’s a nice picture of a monkey hugging a dog.