it’s springtime and everyone’s getting kissed

nd since no one is innerested in smooching with me, i will harken back to the glory days of yesteryear when i was lucky enough to play spin the bottle with one angela romano, my bestfriends girlfriend.

yes, ironically enough the cars had just released that very same record when i was in sixth grade about to get my mind blown and even stranger, that first cars record was the first one that i ever bought with my own money.

and to show you how long ago that was, my mom gave me $20 and with that money i bought steve martin’s comedy is not pretty, meatloaf’s bat out of hell, and the cars self titled debut.

anyhow, angela was dating dave osbourne. we were at bethany radzinski’s house, all the girls had schemed all week about this party, completely leaving us boys in the dark in more ways than one.

there was a seance, there were fruit drinks, there was a bottle, and there was a dark bathroom.

twice i spun the bottle, twice it landed on angela.

i couldnt believe what happened in that bathroom.

when i came home my mom looked at my eyes and accused me of being on drugs.

i said im not on drugs mom, i just spent all my money on records.

logic always worked on my mom, one of the first female computer geniuses.

anyhow, i dont think i ever thanked angela properly.

whereever you are, thank you.

karisa throws great parties

if you’re a girl.

she swears that she doesnt really have that many girl-friends in LA but i think she does that on purpose. most of the parties that she and her hot roommate throw are what are commonly referred to as sausage parties or sword fights. 500-600 guys trying to impress karisa and becca.

both gals sent out invites at their workplaces, but of course, only the fellas attended. many of them recognized my name and said they read this blog, and for those lads, i say hello, and nice to have met you.

the only fight that i got into yesterday was with an insect and i barely won.

i got stung by a bee!

it was my first time ever.

i felt an itchy thing on my back and i reached for it and i felt a little sting and i saw the bee fly over my head and try to attack karisa. i said, “i think i just got stung by that bee.”

basart investigated and sure enough, bee sting.

i kept drinking my beer and looking at karisa.

im agent feels no pain, remember.

ken told her to get the tweezers.

there was much discussion about how to pull out the stinger without making the thing spread. i dont know what thing they were talking about, but basart is an expert at everything and this was one of the few times that it actually came in handy.

i drank more beer.

ken put an ice cube on the sting.

karisa quickly showed up with the tweezers and pulled it out painlessly.

i drank more beer.

she sat back down.

i looked at her some more.

no pain.

then ken saw the bee again, swatted it down fearlessly since it no longer had a stinger.

then he stepped on it.

when they all asked how i felt, i said, “a little buzzed.”

miss russia, Oxana Fedorova,

was about the only person that i didnt get drunk with this weekend, but who knows, i may have, around ten pm on monday everything was blurry, and i could have sworn that there was a hot chick in my california king waterbed but it must have just been my imagination running away with me for in the morning i put my arm where chica should have been and there was nothing there but pillows and pillows.


but who’s complaining? karisa and her roommate had a sweet pool party, tsar played at morgan’s new bachelor pad, all the playoff games were terrific, i got to see so many of my dear friends including ones i hadnt seen in quite a while.

layne was there and gave a glorious account including highlights from the morgan freeman directed tsar video debut.

but now my head aches and my body aches and my legs are sore, strangely.

fortunately the 51st annual Miss Universe competition will be broadcast on CBS tomorrow and we can finally know who is the hottest young woman in the entire galaxy.

as if we didnt already know.

do you know what i want this summer?