in baseball when the catcher puts down the number one finger, that means fastball

if he thinks someone is stealing the signs he might put two fingers down and adjust his mask, the adjustment means “fuck what i threw down, its gonna be a fastball.”

some catchers just throw down any fingers so the pitcher needs to count how many pumps the catcher made, if he throws down fingers just once its a fastball, twice its a curve.

me and jeanine do the same thing on the phone because its tapped due to some counterintelligence that we havent all sorted out yet.

we do it with “i love yous.” lets say we need to rendevous at the Rustic. well, thats everyones favorite place so that is one exchange of “i love you’s”

me: i love you

she: i love you too, see you next week.

that means, “fine, see you at the rustic ASAP.”

if she wants to meet at The Drawing Room across the street from the Rustic, that would be the second option so she’ll throw in another “i love you” at the end of the convo.

me: thanks for calling, pretty girl, i love you.

she: i love you too.

me: ok, bye.

she: i love you a lot.

me: i love you a lot too, bye.

and so on.

just like in baseball, you can wipe off a sign real easy by touching your cheek or rubbing your left leg with your right hand.

me and jeanine do it the simple way by sarcasticly inserting a “but secretly i hate you,” added with a laugh.

yesterday she called and wanted to meet me on the wesssside at my favorite bar over there Del’s Saloon.

but since i dont live anywhere near there any more, it takes a lot of “pumps” to get it out.

me: ok, sexy secretary. i love you.

she: right on nice boy, i love you too.

me: ok bye.

she: but i really love you.

me: but i really love you too.

she: as in love love, but not in the way that you’re hoping, but i love you.

me: yes, i love you in a filthy way.

she: your filthy way is sweet, thats why i love you.

me: ok bye.

she: but i love you anyway.

me: thats a whole lotta love. i love you too.

she: like whitney said when bobby brought her home the oregon buds, i will always love you.

me: yeah me too.

she: ok, i love you.

me: ok, see you at the gospel brunch sunday at the house of blues.

she: definately! but be there on time this time, mister.

me: you were the one who was late.

she: hehehe yeah, i know.

that means, get your ass over to Del’s pronto.

when we got there she told me that she loved it when i put pictures of monkeys on my site. which wasnt code for nothing.

but this is: hey jeanine, check out this crazy canadian who loves, i mean loves fountains— thanks sks.

and thanks a. beam for letting me know how many times i scooped Time’s ass. well, shit, id hope so.

the Italian Open took another victim today

when our very own Anna Kournikova had to withdraw from her doubles match due to injury after she lost in straight sets to Spain’s Ruano Pascual 6-3, 6-2.

Earlier in the week Venus Williams went down from a wrist injury, Martina Hingis dropped out from a leg problem, and now our girl Anna.

If ever there was a clue as to why pro tennis players start young and retire young, look no further than these three athletes who have been forced to succumb to the grueling tennis tour.

Kournikova’s injury is still being eclipsed by news surrounding her reputed Penthouse photos. On Tuesday U.S. District Court Judge Denny Chin ordered that Penthouse stop delivering additional copies of the magazine and he blocked the posting of the photographs on the magazine’s Web site. They can still be viewed on this site, probably because I never said they were Anna.

Anna wore a blue top and matching blue shorts when she lost to Pascual and became injured.

dawn’s first favorite blog

dawn and marc interview each other and theres nothing that gets me to read an article on the web faster than if im pretty sure they might talk about me or my friends.

thankfully, they said nice things.

this guy i work with turned me on to “the amazing race” and today they had a 2 hour special season finale.

all i gotta say: amazing.

this crazy show had me cheering and laughing and slapping my knee.

i learned that it is good to cast incredibly unlikeable people into modern gameshows like this because it is so much fun to root against them and curse when they are winning.

doug goodstein was executive producer of “the howard stern show” and personal manager of Hank the Drunken Angry Dwarf. everyone thought he was crazy to leave the howard stern show this year to produce the amazing race.

ashley has several auctions on ebay. i just have one, two tickets to elvis costello at ucla.

today is tori spellings twenty eighth birthday. buy them for her!