Cover to Cover: A Musical Autobiography

Push Records

19

(Coutourie/Hardcastle)

In 1965 Vietnam seemed like just another foreign war,

But it wasn’t.

It was different in many ways, as so were tose that did the fighting.

In World War II the average age of the combat soldier was 26…

In Vietnam he was 19.

In inininininin Vietnam he was 19.

(TV announcer’s voice)

The shooting and fighting of the past two weeks continued today

25 miles west of Saigon

(Vet’s Voice)

I really wasn’t sure what was going on

Nininini Nineteen, 19, Ni-nineteen 19

19,19,19,19

In Vietnam the combat soldier typicaly served a twelve month tour of duty but

Was exposed to hostile fire almost everyday

Ninininininininininin 19 nininininninin 19

Hundreds of Thousands of men who saw heavy combat in Vietnam were arrested

Since discharge

Their arrest rate is almost twice that of non-veterans of the same age.

There are no accurate figures of how many of these men have been incarcerated.

But, a Veterans Administration study concludes that the greater of Vets

Exposure to combat could more likely affect his chances of being arrested or

Convicted.

This is one legacy of the Vietnam War

(Singing Girls)

All those who remember the war

They won’t forget what they’ve seen..

Destruction of men in their prime

whose average was 19

Dedededededede-Destruction

Dedededededede-Destruction

War, War

Dededede-Destruction, wa-wa-War, wa-War, War

Dedededededede-Destruction

War, War

After World War II the Men came home together on troop ships, but the Vietnam

Vet often arrived home within 48 hours of jungle combat

Perhaps the most dramatic difference between World War II and VietNam was

Coming home.. .none of them received a hero’s welcome

None of them received a heroes welcome, none of them, none of them

Nenene Nenene None of them, none of them, none of them

None of them received a hero’s welcome

None of them received a hero’s welcome

According to a Veteran’s Administration study

Half of the Vietnam combat veterans suffered from what Psychiatrists call

Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder

Many vets complain of alienation, rage, or guilt

Some succumb to suicidal thoughts

Eight to Ten years after coming home almost eight-hundred-thousand men are

Still fighting the VietNam War

(Singing Girls)

Dedededededede-Destruction

Nininininininininin Nineteen, 19, Ni-nineteen 19

19,19,19,19

Nininininininininin Nineteen, 19, Ni-nineteen 19

19,19,19,19

(Soldiers Voice)

When we came back it was different.. Everybody wants to know “How’d it

Happenned to those guys over there

There’s gotta be something wrong somewhere

We did what we had to do

There’s gotta be something wrong somewhere

People wanted us to be ashamed of what it made us

Dad had no idea what he went to fight and he is now

All we want to do is come home

All we want to do is come home

What did we do it for

All we want to do is come home

Was it worth it?

utter wonder

at the olympic auditorium in downtown LA.

when i got home from the movies i got in a little fight with ashley. around two a.m. the phone rang and i thought it was her, so i said “what!” and it was christina.

wanna try that again?

oh its you. baby.

thats better.

whats going on my little dirrty girl?

just drunk, half naked, tired, sore, thinking of you.

aw, sweetie.

i was thinking that i dont know what you want for christmas and you know how things go, i should find that out now and get it to you before i forget.

honeybunch.

i really wanna pull an affleck and buy your momma a car, but then i realized that you dont have a car.

buy my momma one, im good.

you dont have to tell me your good. seriously, what can i get you?

you know what i really want christina aguilera, i want to see if i can get 100 new links before christmas.

you dont want to have sex with me?

nah.

our sex wasnt good?

of course it was. but i think ive had the best sex i’ll ever have and so i’m not so concerned about that any more.

so you want what again?

links. i want 100 people who have never linked me to link me before christmas.

how many new links do you normally get a month.

30.

wow. im not sure that will be do-able.

one thing you’ve taught me, my lil mousekateer is that anything is do-able.

good point.

what do you want for christmas, christina.

you to be my boyfriend.

ok, i’ll tell you what, if i get 100 new links by christmas then i’ll be your boyfriend.

promise?

yes, i promise.

and you’ll forget about all these other hos?

well i cant promise that i’ll forget about them, but i will be your man.

and you wont write about mariah?

if thats whats gonna make you happy.

ok, it’s on. how many new links have you gotten so far, tony?

three

1. trueboy

2. insignificance

3. gabe anderson

this is the dress i would like to elope with you in.

people dress up to elope?

sure, all the time.

do i hafta get dressed up too?

it’s our elopement, i’d hope you wouldnt wear that gwar shirt.

actually anna, i would like a big huge fairytale wedding. i have a lot of friends.

i know, but weddings are a hassle. trust me. you dont want to be in the middle of it all.

you really want to marry me?

desperately.

where would you want to elope?

vegas.

you know why i love you, anna?

why sweetie?

when you say vegas, you dont say “vegas, baby.”

why would i say that?

marry me, baby.

k.

where shall we honeymoon?

doesnt matter. im not letting you leave the room.

can we order room service?

all day, all night.

shrimp?

definately.

so why do i need to dress up.

gotta give the ‘ratzi some good photo love.

always thinking, sweet angel.

krix

to see the adam sandler animated Hanukkah musical “8 Crazy Nights”.

we were a little nervous because the reviews were all “Longest 71 minutes of your life, or “…forgettable, soggy and dumb..” or “…a dark, vulgar, brooding turnoff of a movie.”

i’d have a witty review for you but we walked out before the first crazy night.

after ten minutes i was thinking “can you really walk out of a movie after just ten minutes?”

then karisa groaned and we couldn’t look at each other and then after three more bad jokes and the second super long belch for no good reason, we got off our asses and left.

the mann’s chinese six is the new cinema behind the famous mann’s chinese attached to the hollywood + highland complex. its big, beautiful, awesome sound, stadium seating, etc.

we walked into the lobby and told the usher how bad the movie was, he offered to give us our money back, but we had two big bags of popcorn, drinks, so we asked him when was the next movie starting?

he pointed to “They.” but the other usher, a funny black dude, shook his head and looked down.

my brotha.

karisa asked, “have you seen harry potter?”

i said, “i haven’t even seen the first one.”

she said, “me neither, but ive read the books.”

and we walked to the theatre and she filled me in on what happened in the first book.

there it hit me, karisa is a fox!

so all i remembered of the back story is: harry is a wizard.

being 109 years old has its advantages. i know a bunch of good jokes, i can see into the future, i can bring absolute pleasure to a woman, i don’t get jealous, ive seen it all, all of my dreams have been fulfilled.

but being 109 also has its disadvantages. the worst being that if you have a few drinks with me, and maybe a smoke out in the parking lot, after a big Sprite and a huge buttered popcorn, odds are no matter what’s on the screen, i will fall asleep. especially if the movie is starting at 10:30pm.

harry potter is 2 hours long. i think i managed not to sleep for 25 minutes of it.

anyways karisa is the best. after she dropped me off she wrote me an email letting me know that my local nbc tv station is “biting” my photo essay style with a really bad photo essay about the ever changing look of michael jackson

dear nbc tv, how do you make a bad photo essay about the ever changing look of michael jackson?

isn’t that like the easiest thing you could ever photo essay?

ok, heres how you make it bad:

– use Times Roman typeface

– have too much unindented text

– have text that’s not funny or sarcastic or interesting

– have crappy little pictures that everyone has seen

– steal from me, but forget to steal the good parts of me

my advice, hire me. if you can use AP pictures i could be the staff photo essayist and instantly bring you tons of hits and together we can start a brand new thing on the web.

p.s. i’d work from home, i’d work cheap, and i could completely beat the ass of whoever it was who made that silly lil thing.

clarissa

i think so.

the other night i was with a young lady who kept saying

softer

softer.

i would do my thing and she would say

okay now even softer.

i was all, but im barely touching.

she said youre almost there.

soon i wasnt moving.

just throbbing.

she arched her back and reached up behind my neck with both hands and said

dont move

and dragged her teeth down my side

pearly whites on the peachfuzz of my skin

not even the skin.

then lower and she said watch me be softer and her tounge led the way followed by the firehouse red lipstick and they both sank beneath the blankets

i could barely feel

the velvets vu scratchy popped now and then on the turntable. somewhere a clock ticked.

somewhere time stopped.

and just then i could feel.

the blankets moved purposely

lit only by the moonlight sliding through the slits in the venetians

after a while she emerged and attacked my mouth with hers and bit and said

thats a boy.

then she grazed her lips against my cheek

and said, thats my boy.

took her pointy finger and dragged it across the goosebumps on my back, crawled off, slipped on her satin

marched to the kitchen

returned with some props.

and suddenly i found myself involved in a pop quiz.

scandelous

(Beastie Boys/Caldato)

Well, I got more bounce to the fuckin’ bump

And you want to know why?

It’s ’cause I’m motherfuckin’ truckin’

I’m in the pocket just like Grady Tate

I got supplies of beats so you don’t have to wait

‘Cause I’m the master blaster drinking up the Shasta

My voice sounds sweet ’cause it has to

So light a match to my ass ’cause I’m blown up

I’d like to thank the people for just showin’ up

But now I want y’all to move it

Put your point on the floor and just prove it

And I’m smurfin’ not rehearsin’ gettin’ live y’all

A little puffy so you now what I’m doin’ right

‘Cause that’s the kind of mind I’m in

I got a feelin’ that’s back again

So don’t touch me ’cause I’m electric

And if you touch me you’ll get shocked!

You’ve got the boomin’ system but it’s blasting out doo-doo

You think it’s chocolate milk but it’s watered down yoo-hoo

I’ve been through many times in which I thought I might lose it

The only thing that saved me has always been music

We’ve got our own studio the son of the G

It’s no question life’s been good to me

‘Cause life ain’t nothing but a good groove

A good mix tape to put you in the right mood

This one goes out to my man the groove merchant

Coming through with beats for which I’ve been searching

Like two sealed copies of expansions

I’m like Tom Vu with yachts and mansions

The logo I sport is the face of the monkey

Union made Ben Davis quality it’s no junk see

My chrome is shining just like an icicle

I ride around town on my low-rider bicycle

So many wack M.C.’s you get the T.V. bozack

Ain’t even gonna call out your names ’cause you’re so wack

But one big oaf whose faker than plastic

A dictionary definition of the word spastic

You should have never started something that you couldn’t finish

‘Cause writin’ rhymes to me is like popeye to spinach

I’m bad ass move your fat ass ’cause you’re wack son

Dancin’ around like you think you’re Janet Jackson

Thought you could walk on me to get some ground to walk on

I’ll pull the rug out from under your ass as I talk on

I’ll take you out like a sniper on a roof

Like an M.C. at the fever in the D.J. booth

With your headphones strapped you’re rockin’ rewind pause

Tryin’ to figure out what you can do to go for yours

But like the pencil to the paper I got more to come

One after another you can all get some

So you better take your time and meditate on your rhyme

‘Cause your shit’ll be stinking when I go for mine

And that’s right y’all don’t get uptight y’all

You can say shit because you’re biting what I write y’all

And that’s wrong y’all over the long haul

You can’t cut the mustard when you’re fronting it all

Czaban

hi tony pierce. nice to meet you. i’ve heard a lot about you.

hi. yes i have heard a lot about you too.

i heard that you helped the president’s image.

well the checks don’t bounce. haha. i heard that you sabotaged the paris negotiations to end the vietnam war in ’68.

omg, why would i sabotage those negations?

it was an election year, you are accused of telling the south vietnamese that if they didn’t pull out until after the election, that the republicans would be nicer to them than the dems.

total bullshit. how old were you in ’68? were you even born then?

yes, i was alive then. how do you like being called Manhattan’s Milosevic?

it hurts my feelings. sometimes it makes me cry because i strive to be liked by everyone, especially the village voice. i think that’s why the president has chosen me to head the investigation of 9/11, so that i can prove to everyone that i really do love this country and i can go out on a positive note.

maybe the president wants you to cover up something.

what would i cover up?

the biggest fuck up in american history.

9/11 wasn’t the biggest fuck up in american history.

what was then?

nixon.

was that because you weren’t able to cover it up all that well?

why are you being so mean to me?

did you give arms to Pakistani General Yahya Khan in ’71 so he could kill hundreds of thousands of civilians and take over the democratically-elected government?

Kahn used delicacy and tact.

why did you help the CIA overthrow the democratically-elected government of Salvador Allende and install the murderous military dictatorship of Augusto Pinochet and send him fighter planes?

we were fighting communism. you don’t see any communism any more do you?

uh.

exactly.

Your firm, Kissinger Associates has employed several former presidents including George Bush’s dad, George. And you try to broker deals between oil companies and the saudi families including the royal saudi family.

so?

so, doesn’t it concern you that 15 of the 19 terrorists behind 9/11 were saudi? as is bin laden?

why would that concern me?

because if the truth behind 9/11 is that it was financed by major people of Saudi Arabia perhaps people who you know and who the bush family have known for years, why would you kill the goldenest goose of them all, your clients and business partners? wouldn’t this put you in a position of conflict of interest?

no one is going to kill any geese.

that’s what we’re afraid of. we’re afraid that Bush knew about 9/11 before it happened. it was a Bush/GOP fuck up, and you’re now going to cover it up right before our eyes.

that’s insane, yo stupid. you should sleep late, man, its much easier on your constitution.

so youre going to find out everything about 9/11 and tell us all about it.

yup.

why don’t i believe you?

cuz you think everything george bush does is somehow evil.

or stupid.

yeah, or stupid. but check it. if appointing me was such a bad idea, how come welch didn’t write anything about it?

cuz even welch knows that bush will be allowed to get away with murder in anything that he does. it’s always a free ride when it comes to anyone whose name is george bush. so i think instead of fighting or being all up in arms he’d rather fight paper tigers like the LA Times and write about sports. plus he’s got a pretty wife. maybe he just wants to kiss her a bunch instead of writing about this, which is so easy that even i can write about it.

she is pretty, isn’t she.

yep.

robert scheer

everything was going well. the old man didnt know english and was smoking a pipe. the old woman didnt know english and was working the copier. the young son was probably nine years old and cocky and bored and played his game boy advance and translated without looking up.

please tell your father it will be 130 pages, color cover, perfect bound, 150 copies.

the boy worked the gizmo and said, “papa, wah wah wah-wah wah wah wah-wah.”

the father replied, “wha wah wah wha.”

the boy said, “two thousand dollars.”

i handed over the cash and gave the old man a manilla envelope with the manuscript.

he opened it up as i waited for my receipt.

“it should be done by monday morning.” the boy said, smiling after hitting pause. he took a long drag from a juicy juice juice box and went back to his game.

the old man said, “uh oh.” and looked at me and called his wife over.

she said, “wah wha wah wha wah. pierce-ah?”

they looked at me and took the manuscript into the back.

soon there was a faint odor of smoke?

yes that was smoke.

then the smoke detector went off in a very annoying long high-pitched tone.

some might call it piercing.

the boy hit pause again and looked up irritatingly.

from behind the curtain there was a scuffle.

the old woman came hobbling out with a flaming garbage pail and the old man chasing her.

they ran out of the store past me and threw the entire fireball into the street scattering the pigeons.

the old man ran back and gave me back my envelope of cash.

“you go now. go!”

as i slowly left the shop i passed by the little boy who was leaning against the front door playing his game. he looked at me, put his headphones on, and went back to defending the universe.

buzz machine

Do It

Texas Hotel Records (1988)

“Do It”

Don’t think about it

Do it

Don’t talk about it

Do it

Do it, do it

Don’t lie about it

Do it

Do it, do it

Talk about your sick man, so good you got to do it,

do it

D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-do it, do it

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it

Don’t lie about it

Do it

Why give a fuck about it, man

Do it, do it

There’s a law, but who cares

Do it, do it

Don’t rip me off, man, just do it, do it, do it, do it

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it

Don’t talk about it

Do it, do it

Don’t lie about it

Do it, do it

It’s rock n roll, and the message is

Do it , do it

Just do it,

just do it

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it

oh lord, tony pierce. please dont make fun of me.

what would i make fun of you about?

see, youre doing it already.

doing what? michael, i love you.

no you don’t.

of course i do. i have said over and over that my first concert ever was the jackson 5 and im proud about that. and very happy.

where did you see us?

in indiana.

really?

yep. i think at the circle star theatre.

okay then. what do you want?

nothing. im just here to say hi.

no youre not.

shit, michael, put a little trust in your heart.

i want to trust you, tony, really. it’s just hard, you understand. dont you?

michael, look at me. we’re both pretty much the same. Blacks from the midwest, now living in cali. child stars.

you were a child star?

regionally.

where?

in my living room. no one could beat me at electronic football.

mattel?

you know the one?

of course! all those tour busses and lonely hotel rooms and plane trips.

you never got it on with the groupies?

nah. my brothers did, i was too young.

oh, michael. you poor kid.

wow.

what?

youre really not going to make fun of me.

nope.

thats freaky as hell.

why should it? like i was saying, once i was super black, now im not .

skin disease?

too many white girls rubbing all up on me.

tony, have you seen sarah’s new design?

yes, i’d rather not comment.

it’s not good.

shhhhh. she gets sensitive about that sort of stuff.

but it used to be SOOO good. so classy. so, well, Great.

michael, dont talk about how things used to be.

but…

you’ve stopped looking at the man in the mirror, havent you?

you know whose blog i love?

oh shit.

i love Barbie’s blog.

thats just wrong. where did you find it?

andrew sullivan.

can i make fun of him?

no, he’s my friend.

then i better go.

okay cya tony.

cya mike.

pete.nu