cuz they seriously dont care what you look like. i love that. all they care about is your personality.

in a way theyre sorta like dogs. except dogs dont even care about your personality, the only things dogs care about is that you dont beat them and that you feed them.

republicans are even more loyal than dogs. republicans will stand by their man regardless of whether that man bankrupts their country, or lies about why he’s sending their sons and daughters to war.

im not that loyal.

if i was lied to by my president about pretty much anything other than getting a hummer in the office, I’d probably be pretty pissed off.

but to be lied to about why we’re going to war… especially if i was a veteran, or a parent of a soldier… or a proud american… that would make me wonder why the president isnt getting in any trouble.

i mean i remember back in school, if a person lied about something dumb like who they liked or something, that wasnt a big deal. but if someone lied about something that, i dont know, ended in hundreds and hundreds of american military men and women dying and the country going into billions of dollars in debt – even more debt than before… well, if someone had done that in school, theyd definitely be sent to the principals office.

but republicans are so loyal, more loyal than women and dogs, that they’re not only not demanding that bush gets sent to the office, but theyre completely ready to re-elect him.

i find that fascinating.

even more fascinating than a pretty little skinny woman marrying a man 5 times her size

who wears glasses

soundbitten + lick + blue cad

he’s 50. 50 years old.

howard is my favorite dj. but hes not really a dj, hes a talk show host, and probably the best interviewer in all of television and radio.

he doesnt get the credit he deserves but who does, really?

although he stole a lot of his act from my first favorite dj, mr. steve dahl, he has taken that “shock jock” style and elevated it to a higher level that im not so sure steve could have done if steve had moved to new york in the 70s and not chicago.

regardless i love howard. he has the best show on tv. he has easily the best radio show around. hes consistantly funny. he rarely bores me. his bread and butter is his celebrity interviews but his left hand uppercut is how he makes stars out of the people you expect the least.

from fred the elephant boy, to gary the retard, to kkk guy daniel carver, to stuttering john, hank the angry dwarf, beetlejuice, high pitch eric, and crackhead bob. howard can turn the most ridiculous into the most hilarious. he’s the modern day ed sullivan and even though he’s number one, he gets no respect from hollywood because he kisses no ones ass. which should be a lesson to you all.

hes got my respect.

look at the guests he had on his e! show last year. heavy on strippers and porn stars and retards. a sprinkling of top shelf celebs, but howard teaches us indirectly that the big stars arent the most entertaining, its the average people out there who are the most interesting.

if you think that exhibitionists and crack heads are average.

he can dress in a dress and hes funny. he can get a divorce after 20 years of being married and its funny. he can date a model he has no business being with and its funny. he can threaten to quit his show after yelling at his boss and its funny. hes a real guy who’s not afraid to say what he thinks and its not only funny but its educational.

and then there are the lesbians.

no one had the nerve to allow lesbians to be themselves on tv until howard showed up and some might say he opened the same door to the gays, midgets, pornstars, and retards too. i would.

thanks howard for waking up at 3am every day for our asses and being funny every damn day.

thanks for not having a web site, or tshirts, or coffee mugs.

thanks for not being a sell out like pretty much the entire world.

happy 50th birthday.

you are the king.

f jackie,

tony

jarvis + adrants + king of all media