the problem with the way

ive set up this blog is that sometimes i have a cool picture that i want to post so i have to write enough of godknowswhat that will sorta match up with the picture, but what if i only have a few lines to say about it, then what, then do i just drone on and on so that the text can make it around the picture and “look good”, or do i change the subject to something completely unrelated to the first few paragraphs and try to play it off as punk rock.

everyone knows you cant be punk rock in a blog.

sally was a pretty girl but hid it. i didnt even see it till she unzipped her army jacket unbuttoned her flannel and pulled up her stooges shirt. i unsnaped her three clasped fredricks number like that and suddenly i was surrounded. before midnight i was alone again and thinking of what to write to you cuz if i wrote about it right away i was afraid that she’d think that she couldnt trust me, that shed think that everything we did together would get recorded photographed documented and posted, immediately.

she was a writer from back east. flew out here and rented a motorcyle. i said nice canvas bag, she said its hemp, i said i love you. she said yes but i love you. she said whats punk about tsar i said the pink one stars she said isnt it gay i said gay is ten percent punk is one percent and tsar are the kings of the school.

she said what about the corvids, i said the corvids were not only last years best album but the most interesting surprise next to the polyspronic spree or whatever theyre called.

she asked why do men like plaid miniskirts so much do you think and she recrossed her legs and i caught a glimpse of her tartan and she said is there a reason and i said plaid has a lot of things going on in it. youve got a thick stripe going that way and a see thru line going this way and a thin line going going through all of them. and then of course you get that sweet territory known as the thigh

she said do you like pale girls

i said i love pale girls

she said whats the coolest thing youve seen this week and uncrossed her legs and leaned closer to me

and i said the peanuts gang dancing and singing to outkast.

being 110 years old has its advantages.

for one, i know who captain kangaroo is, and i know what a loss it is for him to have died today.

adios, captain kangaroo. tell mr. greenjeans hi for me.

i have several dream jobs. one of them is to tour around the usa and blog and meet all of you.

another dream job would be to win the lottery and put it all on black in vegas and with the winnings buy the chicago cubs baseball team and be their manager and lead them to an overdue world series victory. duh.

but my most secret of all dreams is to have a morning chidrens tv show similar to what the good captain had except it would feature live bands.

so i would so something like show a cartoon, come back from it and say, oh man deputy dog, god i love that cartoon, ok kids and now behind curtain number 8 is … GREEN DAY!

and they would rock out for a few minutes and we’d break for commercial.

im thinking the show would be the Cartoon Network’s answer to the Today show.

thats what im thinking.

over my little chair would hang three photographs of childrens programming

mr. ray rayner, my idol

mr. fred rogers, rest in peace

and captain kangaroo

who i hope is listening to some new hendrix tunes tonight.

hello good people of NYC and Toronto and Montreal!

as you know, i know people of all walks of life.

i even know some Market Researchers.

recently one of them asked if i had any young toronto, nyc, or mtl readers, and i was all, duh.

so she asked if she could put this proposition in my blog and i was all, of course

so here it is

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am looking for people to let me and some researcher/co-workers TAG ALONG with them.

We are looking for the following people:

* Someone to TAG ALONG with on a night out with friends (you get $175 and one of your friends will get $50!)

* Someone to TAG Along with before and after a sporting event � for example, maybe you have a soccer game that we can talk to you before and after (you get $175!)

* Someone to TAG ALONG with during a study group or club meeting � for example, with you and your study buddies the night before an exam, or maybe a book club meeting (you get $175 and one friend gets $50!)

* Someone to TAG ALONG with on a date � don�t worry, not a FIRST date! But how about something relatively new, something in the first month of a relationship (your date will get $50!)

In order to qualify, you must live in New York City or Toronto and you must be between the ages of 16 and 22 (unless you live in Toronto- you can be as old as 25).

Please keep in mind that we would like each of these TAG ALONGS to take place during the last week of January.

We are also looking for one person in Montreal between the ages of 16 and 21 to make a 25 minute unedited documentary for us! This documentary is due to us by Tuesday, January 27th, so let me know if you are interested ASAP! This job pays $150!!!

If you or anyone you know fits any of the descriptions above, please email me at this secret email addy.

Thanks!

Liana

one of the more interesting things about being african american

is that most of us dont know which part of africa our forefathers are from.

me, i’m hoping i am a descendant of the country of Ghana who have recently been known for their creative approaches to coffins (pictured).

you only get buried once, hopefully, and when my time comes i definitely want to get put in something other than a plain olde pine box.

when i was a kid i used to draw coffins. different coffins. the one i decided that i wanted was a big red one that had a white bow around it. as if it was a present to the good Lord, in hopes that he would accept me into the promised land.

i was an odd child.

i have seen Kiss introduce their coffins, and folks from new zealand design colorful caskets, but nothing matches the ingenuity and whimsy of my brethren from the mothaland.

karisa came over last night but before she did she called and said she was at the package store and asked me what sort of beer she wanted to bring over.

i told her it all depended on what we were gonna have for supper.

she said she was thinking about kfc.

after i told her that i loved her

deeply

i thought of the great good luck i had that such a good friend was coming to my house with a twelve pack of the high life and a bucket of extra crispy for my undeserving ass.

and this morning i realized that i want to be buried in a giant kfc bucket.

made by the hands of my brothers in ghana.

we watched re-runs of surreal life and talked about the super bowl.

it was magical.

she ate a ton of chicken

and somehow she keeps a very nice shape.

so ive been told.

i didnt look at her all night.

happy one year blog birthday BUNNIE!