i hear you will be offering free high speed internet wirelessly in all of your rooms starting this summer.

actually i read it on my pal matt welch’s blog.

lots of people learn things from blogs.

thats why i would like to work for you and write a blog for you.

i would like to travel to all of your locations and write a little something about the facility and the town.

sorta like charles kuralt’s on the road

but better.

minus the mistress.

for example if i worked for you, right now i would drive over to houston for the super bowl and blog, i mean write on your blog, about houston and the best westerns in the houston area.

i would take pictures.

i have a good camera.

i believe the blog that i could create with you could be one that would appeal to your 18-34 demographic, which i would imagine, would be your target market.

i have excellent references.

im a courteous guest who rarely steals towels

and i promise i wont fill my cooler with ice from the ice machine.

please hire me to write your blog.

your pal,

tony pierce

chokey chicken’s favorite blogger + bad marriage + franny + k

fyi. youre gonna have your good days and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks. my last really bad week was in october when the cubs fell apart right as i was starting to believe. that led to some unfortunate situations at my place of employment. currently im getting dumped by hot chicks, losing my shirt at games of chance, and today i even lost my wallet.

whats most embarrassing about it was i was about to get some clothes at the hot topic.

cuz im so punk.

i had my eye on this baby blue simpsons pin pal bowling shirt with the name homer stitched in cursive over the pocket. and some pants. fifty five bucks out the door.

dug around my backpack. pimp was in there. a few really good r&b cds from the 40s were in there.

some chicks lip balm from nordstrom was in there somehow.

baseball cards, power bars, old bus passes, my blogger hoodie, my dumb cell phone,

but no wallet.

so i called my man john woo and asked him if he could look around chopper one for me, he did

nothin.

the girl put my shit on hold for a day.

i can see the stitched on picture of apu and the gang all stuffed in that black plastic bag waiting to be on my back tomorrow as we go to the valley to bowl, we being the xbi travelling bowling team.

lucky for me that i took a hundred bucks out of the atm this afternoon and stuffed it in my wallet right before i misplaced it into the universe.

nothin better than finding a wallet fat with greenbacks

and a condom that doesnt expire for a long time

and a barely used library card

and a buspass with four days left on it.

but the weirdest thing about all of this

is i couldnt give a shit for some reason.

it’s nice.

it’s even sorta funny.

jarrett + jason + moveon

TSAR

“Straight”/”The Creature in Disguise”

(Birdman)

Their pad is very messy, they got whiskers on their chin, they’re gone on powerpop music, and they always play to win. Or so the A-side tries to convey, though these L.A. formalists clearly mean to beg the straightness question merely by raising it.

In their first songs to surface since their worthy 2000 debut album, they pound and swing the boogie harder and sweeter than ever; both tracks would fit real well on Cheap Trick’s All Shook Up, so Tsar’s guitars could offer quite the machismo lesson to Weezer, whose T-shirts their “Tsar the Rock Group” slogan recalls.

Even more blatant: quotes/references to “Pretty Vacant,” “Bat Out of Hell,” and “I’m Straight” by the Modern Lovers, who meant the word differently. Then, on an almost-as-flawless flip side alluding to adolescent bodies metamorphosing monster-like, “My Generation,” the Move’s Shazam, and B?C’s “Godzilla.” Or maybe the Dolls’ “Frankenstein.” Or Edgar Winter’s.

Do the crossword puzzle yourself for once, bucko.

– Chuck Eddy, Village Voice, Singles Again, January 28 – February 3, 2004

but she knows everything, so i tell her everything. usually about chicks. today i was telling her something and she said, oh, can you do me a favor and go through one day without talking about girls or women or sex or anything like that? ok. thanks.

she said it bitchy like that dude in office space. it was funny. whenever people try to be mean to me and are being sarcastic or whatever i just laugh. sometimes i will just go on doing what they ask me not to go on doing. its almost a dare to me.

then she said youre not even talking about the girl that i want you to talk about and i was all who do you want me to talk about and she said the girl on the top of your blog thing.

its always freaky when people from work read this because i pretend that nobody reads this and i dont have to pretend about that at work cuz pretty much nobody from work does read it. and i told her that me and karisa are friends and we’re keeping it that way. plus shes the wrong sign, so hush. and she said well dont talk about girls today unless youre gonna talk about her. i like her. i said i like her too, but this other one this morning, whoa….

this chick is hot. theyre all hot. everything is hot in LA today except me and the weather. 51 degrees this morning and i know i have no room to bitch cuz the country is shivvering but excuse me, LA should not be 51 degrees in january. it should be 71. didnt we discuss this recently when it wasnt 80?

took the escalator down the platform to the subway this morning and i saw a guy in a huge lakers parka sleeping on the slat where people usually sit. they make them hard and uncomfortable on purpose so as to keep people from sleeping on them and i thought about how when i was at uc isla vista they told us that we didnt know what real life was that we would get out of the fantasy land of santa barbara soon and the sooner the better and when i saw that guy this morning i was thinking fuck the real world. send me back to fantasy land.

and then i sat next to my sleeping los angelino and opened my book to where my m&ms wrapper was holding my place and continued reading pimp by iceberg slim.

bettiegirl + jackbog + kitty bukakke

i missed you. then why do i feel like not writing any more for a long long time. i think the world is doing one of those lets see if we can spin completely upside down right now. the pope witnessed breakdancing, clint got on stage and said i know i dont look like sean penn… but i am, and the hot babe in average joe made out with the good looking guy who didnt even know what a romance novel is.

i put up the first few pages of lick today and parts of it make me very very happy and parts scare the shit out of me. my natural reaction is to just say fuckit and not do it but i did that with blook 2 and some people wanted my ass. there was this study a while back about perfectionists and winners and most winners it turned out were not perfectionists and the study was done on quarterbacks in the nfl and many of them won because they werent afraid to fuck up, they just went for it, warts and all, they didnt allow the little (or big) things stop them from going forward.

and when you look at guys like our current president (not pictured, sadly) who if he was any other decent person would look at the state the planet was in when he stole the election and look at the state of the planet today, and the decent person would probably apologize and step down gracefully. a perfectionist woulda probably shot hisself right in the head. but winners, and i hate to say it, but dumbshit sure does find a way to win, winners hang in there and keep slugging away even if the only person who benefits from their bs is them.

so lick will launch at halftime of the superbowl for your asses, as planned. even if it isnt exactly what i want it to be.

how could it be more like i want it to be? you could write for it, for starters. and by you, i mean you.

you know who you are.

work wasnt so bad but i wasnt feeling it all day. im not sick, i can feel the disturbance in the force, maybe tomorrow we’ll figure out what it is, was, whatever, but my truest called tonight and she told me to go for it, clipper girls cousin called tonight and told me to go for it, and raspil iverson the designer of the lick blog wrote something so normal and so perfect for lick and i put it on the page and it didnt look perfect but it will do for today but it was the writing.

sometimes its nice just to read normal words from a normal person about normal things

and thats better than people trying to be all flowery and writer-y or any of that.

she told the story and got out of the way and it was great.

and if theres one thing i want to do from lick is help people understand that theres lots of ways to write well and the best way is their way as cheesy as that sounds its the truth and another thing i want people to learn is that even though we call it a world wide web, we are completely separated in most cases. and now is the time to have a greater cohesiveness if we want.

its like a playground with a thousand basketballs and a thousand hoops and everyone is shooting freethrows,

my invitation to you is to play together

just a few times a month.

ladies first.

women of the web, if you’d like to write something for lick, now is the time. wednesday at 10pm pacific time is the deadline for the first edition of this new thing. if i didnt contact you personally please dont be put off, i contacted very few people personally. i wanted Lick to be something mostly wordofmouth like buzznet and friendster and that super visual x that was going around last weekend in hollywood.

you can fictionalize things, you can factualize things, you can write about things that youd never think youd ever write down let alone email to someone, and you can also write about normal things that interest you.

whatever you do, write. write like its ok to write. write like todays the day and if you want write like whatever it is that you write will touch someone, even an undercover vigilante helicopter pilot who secretly just wants to direct.

porn.

i love you faceless rockstars of the worldwideweb. im glad to be back and if anything inside my head whispers to me that i should stop i will just think about my hero ray rayner who was there for me every morning growing up.

the mc has a new cam + this girl turns me on + i love brians video