the kids write me emails

all the time and i feel bad cuz my email is terrible. i still havent hooked eudora up so im reading everything off my yahoo account and their spam filter is terrible and fuck those of you who dont understand what im talking about when i talk about hits. its not bragging, its putting things in context. guess what you get with that sort of traffic, which by the way isnt even a fraction of the traffic that what some better writers get, you get about 2,500 pieces of spam a day. i really do have to devote a fair amount of time to manage the email flow while trying to pick out the real pieces of mail.

anyway the kids write the best emails. all of it is about picking up girls. just like everything

wait a second.

its two am and 103.1 is playing bastards of young.

dear mexican radio station thats programing this clear channel radio station,

gracias.

so just like in baseball or basketball you have to know the fundamentals. and the first fundamental to getting anything you want in life particularly the attention of the weaker sex is to ignore the first hundred no’s.

and quit asking questions

would you like to go to the fair with me betty? isnt gonna get you to the damn fair.

baby im gonna get off work early on friday and pick your cute little ass up and you know what we’re gonna do

everyone loves a mystery

what?

five o’clock. pick you up here.

but i have a hair appointment.

lalalallala.

but i have to learn how to ski.

theres skiing where we’re going.

its ok to lie if youre asking a girl out.

as long as its funny.

im sorry but really id love to but i cant.

ok, 5:30

and for gods sake dont be yourself.

be someone taller.

3rd Leg + self portrait of a wishing well + kristin

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