i do. what other rock star is letting brothas pose for pictures like this at Wendy’s late at night?

not phil collins, thats for damn sure.

speaking of brothas, ive gotten lots of email but not many comments on the FCC Chairman’s email below.

at first i thought it was fake, but now im believing that that email truly was from Colin’s son.

As the Daily Stern reported today, the FCC fined Howard Stern $27,500 for talking about an oral sex act that occurs when you’re taking a #2.

The conversation occured in 2001.

Ironically, yesterday, Oprah Winfrey had a guest on who was talking about… of all things, Licking someones ass

precisely what I discussed yesterday morning

for your asses.

anyway, let’s compare and contrast what Oprah discussed yesterday with what Howard got busted for:

3/18/04:

WINFREY: OK–so–OK, so what is a salad toss?

Ms. BURFORD: OK, a tossed salad is–get ready; hold on to your underwear for this one–oral anal sex. So oral sex to the anus is what tossed salad is.

Hi, Mom.

7/2001

Howard Stern: Well, a blumpkin is receiving oral sex while you�re sitting on a toilet bowl if you are a man. You�re sitting on a toilet bowl and uh, while you�re evacuating you receive your oral.

Robin Quivers: Ick.

the difference is Oprah didnt get in any trouble, and Stern has to hand over the equivalent of a Ford Explorer.

normally I would have scratched my head and wondered why Stern would get punished for it, but after Michael Powell explained so clearly that this is about him trying to stick it to the White Oppressor, it makes a lot more sense to me.

so thank you Chairman Powell for the FCC exclusive.

brotha.

goldman + case + kimbalina + ev + sutter

The Busblog Yahoo Fantasy Baseball League

League ID#: 16459

Password: blogger

Live Draft TODAY at 2pm Pacific

click here to join, but be prepared to lose to me mwahahahahaha

dont tell her boyfriend.

i think tom vu is right. i dont have the guts to make a lot of money. i dont have what it takes to go to one of his free seminars. im so old you wouldnt believe it. i should be loaded by now. with my good looks and charm and wit and brains. shit. i should be pulling down five figures by now.

super hot chick at work has been reading this blog lately. she asks me why i do so well with the ladies. im honest when i tell her i dont know. i tell her its cuz i dont get paid, i dont have a car, i dont have my youth any more, so the lord had to give me something.

i asked her if she wanted to come over to the crib saturday night and she passed.

thankfully.

i wouldnt want to get into another fight with miss montreal. even though our makeup session was pretty right on.

she said she dreampt about me the other day. yes day. it was a day dream. how incredible to get daydreamed about.

the xbi has these one way glass rooms. its for interrogating. all we ever do… not we… them… all THEY ever do in those rooms is beat peoples asses and give them xbi tattoos. what they do is beat the bad guys to a pulp and then put an anchor tattoo on their shoulder and put “jimmy” or “merle” underneath it so everyone thinks theyre gay.

i think the whole thing is gay.

anyway, i was in there today watching some dudes interrogate some dudes and i saw myself in the reflection of the window and i was all, what? these chicks dont mind looking at that? it was baffling.

unfortunately one of my buddies was reading my mind and esp’ed me with

if chicks had taste john mayer wouldnt sell so many records

and i was all, but i dont even look like john mayer!

then i heard the tattoo guy roll his shit into the interrogation room, i heard the familiar whirrrrrr of the tattoo shit and they said what name are you dudes putting under the anchor.

and they looked around and said

tony.

and thats the luck ive had today.

good and bad luck.

cuz as much as i love karisa she wouldnt let me have the two au pair girls that my babies would need, and she definately wouldnt go for the live in gogo dancer that i’d really like in my advanced age.

and what would we do when the redsox face the cubs in the series this year?

sigh.

kate sullivan + candied ginger + annika

i dont. but some do. i probably shouldnt say i dont cuz ive never tried, but i doubt that i would like it. still i think people should be allowed to have their ass licked, and im glad that in most of america people still have that right.

i like to listen to howard stern on the radio. i also like to watch him on the tv. some people dont like him and thats fine. many havent even tried to like him and thats fine too. still i think that people should be allowed to listen to howard on the radio and watch him on the tv, and im glad that in most of america people still have that right.

someone asked me why the democrats helped pass the indeceny bill that cruised through the house the other day. this is the bill that would fine a performer up to a half million dollars for doing things like saying the word fuck, exposing a nipple on tv, or talking about excretory thingies.

i told them that the dems are smart enough to know that the bill isnt something that they want to fight over right now. theyre about to get the white house again and the only way that they could fuck it up would be to come across as Pro-Ass Licking

or worse… Pro-Howard Stern.

i can bitch all day long about how the repubs are taking freedoms away from regular americans, imposing their will on nations around the world, and ruining our economy.. but at least theyre not afraid to do Something – even if it’s terribly wrong, immoral, and backasswards.

but the dems are pretty much just chickenshits getting whomped in the political game at every turn.

they let their excited, strong, angry man get removed because he was excited.

if ever there was a moment for someone to say, excuse me but fuck off, it was the day after the “liberal media” gave him a hard time for the Dean Scream. instead he hesitated and lost steam.

like a bitch.

seems to me that only one Dem has learned from the bushies that politics in this new century isnt about being classy or playing by the rules, or being smooth, or smart or graceful, and thats the guy who says things under his breath when he knows his mic is on.

the one Dem who will be the next president of the united states.

a Dem who isnt going to get faked out by bullshit bills that wont be enforced once the Dems regain their rightful place again. rightful cuz they did the right things when they were in it last time, rightful because they got more votes in 2000, rightful because theyve shown themselves as being better at that gig right now.

they just suck at getting there and staying there.

maybe its too much to ask for leaders who can be courageous about fighting the right fights and defending those who arent politically correct to appreciate.

maybe im too idealistic when i think there has to be a few hundred Americans who can articulate their ideals and have the ability to communicate them to the people who have elected them as representatives.

maybe im nuts to think that we need to go back to throwing people out who are paid to represent us, but turn the tables and inflict their values on the people when it should be the other way around.

the dems and the repubs are there because we are here doing our thing. Somebody has to work out the details surrounding laws and taxes and shit like that so we hire those representatives to do that crap on our behalf.

they should not be making policy, they should be doing our will.

and we’re just as bad cuz we keep voting these motherfuckers in.

some people like being told what theyre supposed to like. i dont. but some do. those people are called fashion victims. theyre not called voters.

be a voter

and when you do vote, may i recommend that you vote from a place of reason, not a place of manufactured fear

sublog + george must go + coyote

usually im flattered, but recently ive winced because i just havent had the time to take my time and get into whatever it is that im typing about. sorta sucks but whatever. even halfassed i still write better than the idiots who comment against me, so its cool.

mr. doc searls of the santa barbara searls’s quoted a large chunk about my support for howard stern and then mr buzzmachine of the daily stern jeff jarvis took the same quote for his blog.

poor jeff gets gangbanged by ignorance every time he valiantly rallies behind the king of all media, showing us all how it’s done. im not sure i could do what he’s doing. i must admit, i am a bit of an approval-suck. if my core readers didnt want me to write about something and Obviously didnt get it, i, sadly, would probably become persuaded to quit the fight, but not jarvis, he keeps his head down and continues to whale away at the body unaware of the uppercuts from the emptyheaded.

whats supremely ironic is that the anti-sternites seem to want a direct line from the president to howard stern getting dropped by clear channel, and yet they arent at all interested in direct lines for seemingly more important debates like how we’re still in a motherfucking war with a country because our leader said they had weapons of mass destruction.

certainly they’re smart, but these fuckheads just dont want to admit that this is how the line goes:

* howard dominates morning radio, which dominates how people start their day

* bush didnt win the election

* bush fucked the economy, got us into a war from lies and deception to distract us from his previous fuckups

* bush is now up for re-election

* bush appointed colin powell’s son to be head of the fcc

* howard, who usually votes republican, starts calling bullshit on bush

* janet jackson shows the world her weird nipple thing

* colin’s son who has never done anything realizes he has to do something about that nipple

* colin’s son goes overboard cracking down on things that have nothing to do with nipples on tv

* to appease colin’s son, a subcommitee drags Clear Channel to the hill to have them explain how they will conform

* the morning Clear Channel is to testify, they drop Howard Stern from 6 markets

* two of those markets are Ohio and Florida – states Bush has a slim chance of winning, states where Every vote matters

* Clear Channel initially claims that Stern was dropped because his show that day was obscene and offensive because a caller said “nigger” and “spic”. The Nation called this excuse hogwash.

* the FCC did not fine Stern that day because legally his show was neither obscene nor offensive

* Clear Channel replaced Stern in most of those markets with pro-Bush Michael Savage who is best known for being fired by MSNBC last year for anti-gay statements and telling a caller that he hopes he gets AIDS and dies.

* Clear Channel who has a history of funding the RNC now refuses to pay Stern for the remaining portion of his contract with them

* Strongly endorsed by the Bush administration, the house passes a bill that would fine a radio performer up to a half million dollars for indecent material. ony One republican congressman votes against it.

free speech is free as long as you’re a republican who doesn’t talk about sex.

and lying is not indecent, unless youre martha stewart.

doc searls + buzz machine + dick cheney is a bitch

and for the last two hours ive been surfing the web and watching of all things american idol. what a horrible show. are there no more good unsigned singers in america?

simon and the black dude had a fake little fight to make the show interesting, but American Idol is over. fuck it. it’s dead.

my truest called. some people dont like it when i call her that. including her. whatev. we only spin around this fuckhole once. may as well be honest to people. she called. she used to talk to me about her work and i used to not want to talk to her about it. now for some reason i have become a better friend and i want to listen and help and of course once we get into it she tells me she doesnt want to talk about work any more. its funny.

as always i begged for her hand in marriage again. i told her that if she said yes i would run across town to her awaiting arms. she said thats like 11 miles! i said fine, id run to the busstop. which is funny because when our love was first blossoming i wouldnt even walk two blocks to her house. lifes funny. not funny haha. sometimes its not funny at all.

some asswipe just turned on the lights. fuck that.

im at the xbi now. its not where i want to be. i dont know where i want to be. i want to be in iv. i want to be alone. i want to be where grumpy olde men like me should be. on the porch of an old hotel in a rocking chair looking at the sports pages for the third time commenting about the skinny young ladies and their tiny little rat dogs trying to outdo each other by talking about the amount of times we used to beat off as teens. please let there be a heaven. please let there be one. even if i cant get in, please let there be one cuz maybe maybe maybe i can get in there.

there is a heaven and its zip code ends in 117.

a young girl in another state chatted with me last night and told me that she is completely shaved. completely. there used to be a time when that would have put a smile on my face for a good week. those were the days.

another even younger girl wrote me a very sexy story for Lick about how she wants to get it on with someone soon. how great she’d be at it. and i bet she’d be great at it. that made me happy.

but i laughed out loud maybe 9 times talking to my truest, but if ever there was a closed door thats it. might as well be bolted. might as well be a door on the 100th floor of tower #2.

at least i dont live on the east coast.

and another thing, fuck st. patty.

hey red + jaime + bored housewife

FIRSTS

First job: papergirl

First self purchased CD: cd? Madonna “Borderline” was before cd’s, right? CD- no clue.

First piercing/tattoo: emeralds in my ears at age 5- and a sun on my ankle at 18.

First true love: Derek (puke)

First enemy: lynn cyr (poor girl)

LASTS

Last big car ride: to las Vegas with angel in mid-feb.

Last kiss: My boyfriend yesterday morning.

Last library book checked out: last books I bought were “wicked”, “candide”, “dubliners” & “deadeye dick”. No library in awhile L

Last movie seen: Starsky & Hutch – two stars

Last beverage drank: water

Last food consumed: cottage cheese w/strawberries

Last phone call: bf

CD played: Jay-Z- the black album

Last annoyance: my drive to work this morning

Last pop drank: coca-cola

Last ice cream eaten: fudge tracks light

Last time scolded: last weekend

Last shirt worn: my blue adidas

I….

I AM: slightly bored

I WANT: to always have fun

I HAVE: a good life

I WISH: my best friends lived closer

I HATE: celery and any types of beans and any type of violence

I FEAR: becoming boring

I HEAR: the very cheerful secretary behind me

I SEARCH: for good times

I WONDER: where I’ll be in 5 years from now

I REGRET: smoking for so long

I LOVE: my friends and family… and vegas

I ALWAYS: want to see/hear/learn something new

I AM NOT: angry

I DANCE: in my car and in da clubs

I SING: when i drive

I CRY: not as much as I should

YES or NO:

YOU KEEP A DIARY: no

YOU LIKE TO COOK: yes!

YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: tons

DO YOU…?

HAVE A CRUSH: just on my bf

WANT TO GET MARRIED: I don’t know…

GET MOTION SICKNESS: only when moving backwards

THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: yeah… Sigh…

CURRENT HAIR COLOR: blondish-brownish

EYE COLOR: blue!

BIRTHPLACE: holysmoke, mass

FAVORITES

NUMBER: 12

COLOR: blue to see, black to wear

DAY: sunny days- but preferably sunny saturdays

MONTH: august

SONG(S): depends on my mood.

SEASON: are there different seasons here?

DRINK: watchusett blueberry when on the east and sierra Nevada when I am way out west. And champagne anywhere and everywhere in between.

PREFERENCES

CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: make out

CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: neither. Not a huge chocolate fan

MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: white

VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: I like sugar candy.

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU…

CRIED? No.

HELPED SOMEONE? I think so.

BOUGHT SOMETHING? No.

GOTTEN SICK? Yes!

GONE TO THE MOVIES? no

SAID ‘i love you’?: no

WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: hell no

TALKED TO AN EX?: yes, oddly- if im counts!

MISSED AN EX?: no

WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: kind of.

HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: yeah.

MISSED SOMEONE? yes

HUGGED SOMEONE? no

MADE A BOY MOAN? Unfortunately not

kerrie carnes + souptree

but the question is, do i hate the yankees more than the republicans? no. because even though the yankees cheat and steal and dont play fair, nobody ever dies. my life isnt affected by george steinbrenner directly. gas prices dont change when they sign their fourth $100 million player.

it’s also hard to root against republicans cuz thats like rooting against your left foot. i can boo the yanks all day long and i can boo the president but i cant really root against him because thats like hoping america fails and i wouldnt ever want that. ever. which is one huge difference between lefties and the others. the lefties at least understand that even when the election is stolen, you cant actually Hope for the biggest budget deficit of all time and the highest gas prices ever cuz thats not good for the world.

the yankees going on a 100 year losing streak, however, is good for the world. if derek jeter and a.rod slipped in the shower today, strangely that would be good for baseball. but if osama continues to run free thats not good for america or the world.

and even if he’s caught under bush’s watch that doesnt mean that bush should get re-elected.

unless bush catches him himself.

singlehandedly.

which is another difference between the liberals and the o’reillys. the right hated clinton so damn much they wouldnt have been cool with him no matter what he did. not surpluses or prosperity or peace or growth or anything. he wore the wrong color hat so he was hated. blindly hated. no matter how good he was for the country and the world. blowjobs dont matter so much when you think about how a man is doing for his country and for the planet. nor should they.

but republicans are so uptight about sex be it via gay marriage or radio talk show hosts or nipples on the superbowl that they couldnt care less what it does to the country they want it out of their face. even if its not in their face. and thats why they suck worse than the yankees.

ultimately i suppose we need the dark side. we need the so called establishment. regardless of how damaging they are to everyone around them. how ugly they play. how they abuse the spirit of the rules.

we need them to feel better about ourselves.

no matter how big a fuckup i am now or will be in the future, i will never be as big a loser as the president of the united states who wipes his ass with the constitution, who has lockjaw from blowing the rich, and whose fist stinks from fisting freedom.

and no matter how hard im destined to fail one day, it wont be as bad as when the yankees dont win the world series this year despite having a rod, jeter, giambi, matsui, posada, bernie, and shef.

in the end, baseball is great because you cannot buy a world series. you can buy a team but you cant buy a title.

some things, mr. president, can not be stolen.

and thats why bush sucked as a baseball owner.

but we cubfans thank you for trading away sammy sosa.

like i said, there is a reason for the darkside.

its to make us feel better.

sk smith + moxie + sheila o’malley

First job: crew memember, McDonald’s

First screen name: Hewhorocksmightilly

First self purchased CD: Dire Straits: Making Movies

First piercing/tattoo: the bible is against tattoos, sigh.

First true love: Mary

First enemy: Joe Stillo, didnt last long

LASTS

Last big car ride: to Isla Vista with Bunny

Last kiss: Miss Montreal, this morn

Last library book checked out: Long Talking Bad Condition Blues, Ronald Sukenick

Last movie seen: Starsky & Hutch – two stars

Last beverage drank: Minute Maid orange juice

Last food consumed: poppy seed bagel w/ cream cheese

Last phone call: work related, blah

CD played: Jay-Z, MTV Unplugged

Last annoyance: the fact my phone never stops rinigng

Last pop drank: diet dr. pepper

Last ice cream eaten: mint chocolate chip

Last time scolded: yesterday by the man

Last shirt worn: Gorillaz, bootleg concert longsleeve

I….

I AM: dumb

I WANT: a writing job

I HAVE: amazingly good luck

I WISH: more than i apply

I HATE: the president and the congress

I FEAR: that I will die without accomplishing anything cool

I HEAR: the View through my earpeice

I SEARCH: for links to the busblog (blush)

I WONDER: when i will ever grow up

I REGRET: not going to Prauge in the 90s with my pals

I LOVE: you

I ALWAYS: want to blog more

I AM NOT: as happy as i appear

I DANCE: more than you think

I SING: when i drive

I CRY: about once every two years

YES or NO:

YOU KEEP A DIARY: no

YOU LIKE TO COOK: no

YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: i have no secrets

DO YOU…?

HAVE A CRUSH: not really

WANT TO GET MARRIED: yes

GET MOTION SICKNESS: rarely but it does happen

THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: no, but i am a clean hands freak

CURRENT HAIR COLOR: bald

EYE COLOR: bloodshot

BIRTHPLACE: washington dc

FAVORITES

NUMBER: 97.1, howard stern baby

COLOR: black

DAY: opening day

MONTH: october

SONG(S): wrong, tsar

SEASON: bikini

DRINK: captn and coke

PREFERENCES

CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: make out

CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: chocolate milk

MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: dark

VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: chocolate

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU…

CRIED? no

HELPED SOMEONE? if you want to put it that way.

BOUGHT SOMETHING? yes. foods. drinks.

GOTTEN SICK? no. sneezed though.

GONE TO THE MOVIES? no

SAID ‘i love you’?: no

WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: hell no

TALKED TO AN EX?: no, weirdly

MISSED AN EX?: no

WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: if you count this.

HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: Yes

MISSED SOMEONE? yes

HUGGED SOMEONE? yes

MADE A GIRL MOAN? oh yes

got this from mesawyou who got it from sepi and i would like karisa to do it