rock isnt dead

its just taking a looooong smoke break

and thats why the new green day record sounds so good.

kate and i were on the phone tonight trying to figure out what the fuck is up with rock and shes a sweet girl

but im not.

i blame the kids, who were given everything.

how does a band like good charlotte turn into the whiney mess that they are when i bet their first concert was soundgarden circa badmotorfinger.

and where are the guitarists. where are the solos.

not that long ago you had eddie van halen and angus young and alex lifeson and the dudes in maiden

i said kate who are the best guitarists in rock right now and she said jack white

and i said, good, who else.

she said there werent any.

i said yes, j masics, but who else?

but there werent any more.

nice work, red states.

and i thought about the punk scene, which there isnt one, and i started to see that without strong metal and punk influences, rock just winds up being everything that isnt slutpop or rap.

which is why maroon five even has a record deal.

and i blame coldplay and i blame john mayer and i blame rick rubin for not doing more with the jesus and mary chain.

only in a rock drought could the pixies resurface with zero new songs and rock harder than almost everyone at coachella this year.

part of the problem is the misconception of emo. here everyone was so quick to annoint weezer the kings of emo when in truth all the real emo bands wouldnt strap on a flying v even as a joke. and the other truth is, weezer’s metal past, and yes, guitar solos show up in many of their songs – even their last single dopenose

rivers may have dressed emo but his music was closer to green day’s than to cold plays which couldnt be said for most of the genre that they were unfortunately lumped in with.

i blame lincoln park, i blame metalica, i blame korn, all of whom could have done far more with their opportunities but instead keep making the non-rock decisions which fuck it up for those who should be rising like monster magnet, rancid, and the donnas.

people were all how can you like the used and im all it’s only because you have truly forgotten what passionate music is about

its only because you have no taste left for punk sensibilities unless its sporting a mohawk.

when the used is in the top ten then rock will return.

when juliette lewis and the licks are in the top ten the rock will be real again.

how the fuck is lil john more punk rock than


on modern rock alternative.

nobody on college radio feels like screaming into the mic right now?

lil john does.

the used, who you dont wanna give any props to does.

rock is so soft right now that dave grohl, years removed from nirvana, can crawl out from behind his drum kit, pick a guitar and scream louder and better and clearer than anyone on kroq.

in pop songs.

and in a way i blame radiohead. or more specifically all the pencilneck critics who hailed them as the best band in america.

whats a kid supposed to do when he reads rolling stone for the first time and finds out that its all about radiohead?

and i blame beck cuz he let down rock, alternative, And hip hop. fuckr.

beck could have taken a band like interpol and made them far less pussy but since hes so pussy now he cant even take himself out of the tail spin

sing moonshadow when youre fifty, today we want the rock.

four million velvet revolver fans cant be wrong.

give us the rock.

people keep buying red hot chili pepper records hoping for something in there and they never find it.

people keep going to ozzfest and what does it tell you when the shaking old man in the neckbrace on stage is rocking harder than everyone who came before him that night?

it tells you that the kids are not alright.

theyre fat and slovenly and should think about the fact that when theres no rock then you get ashley simpson in the top twenty.

even though shes ugly and cant sing and cant dance.

tsar is going to come out of the studio and whip some peoples asses

and when they do you better be appreciative

or you’ll get seven more years of incubus.

splink + kate sullivan + <3 kitty bukkake <3

first they come for the liars

then they come for the haters, then they come for the theives.

fuck the fakers the toothless giants grunted as they bashed rocks and nibbled on the pebbles,

flossing their teeth with trombones.

finally we had time to watch the apprentice on tivo and i was telling them that theres no way trump should have kicked out the asian chick for lifting her skirt for twenty bucks.

but whoever wins will be running one of his companies a wood nymph whispered to her butterflies who spelled it out against a waterfall backdrop.

a buffalo was the first to call bullshit but im a loudmouth and i said

donald trump dares to judge how people conduct business?

donald trump who’s most famous television show, before this game show, was a beauty contest where during one segment the women infact lifted their skirts.


the hawaiian punch volcano belched and then errupted and of course i was wearing all white including my new suede fedora. but it’s all right.

and then it stopped.

and then we went back to playing cards

with the cigar smoking pitbulls.

and the moose noticed the sissyphus, and asked dont you have anything to say to us?

he said happy hanukkah

happy hanukkah?

happy hanukkah.

and we danced.

a pdf of yesterday’s daily nexus photo issue + jarvis continues to expose the fcc + i made blogger news!