highlights from april ’04

hi on the busblog

4/1 me and moxie get married

4/3 dodgers angels game

4/5 anniversary of kurdt kobains death

4/6 i took four dumps today.

4/7 layne tries to convince me that courtney killed kurt

4/7 review of the debut album by william hung, inspiration

4/9 before she even knew me she typed to me from her bathtub

4/10 today we found out that the cia had warned bush about osama a month before 9/11. nobody would end up caring cuz everyone knows bush is a dumbshit.

4/11 people ask me all the time why i am a Christian. actually they dont. i wish they would. but they dont.

4/12 the president writes me emails, and teens invade my couch

4/13 your opinion

4/14 third best picture of the year

4/15 liana took me to the premiere of kill bill 2

4/16 review of kill bill 2

4/17 i blog the entire cubs vs reds game

4/18 one day there will be a vice president who will hold a five foot bong in his hands so as to appease the pot smoking voters of america. some people say the pot smoker vote isnt an important one but they couldnt be more wrong. the pot smokers are the first to give someone a chance.

4/19 doc searls accuses me of being an a-list blogger

4/20 happy four twenty day

4/20 my old girlfriends only get hotter with age

4/21 call me grumbly mcgrumbly today. got chewed out for killing a perp this morning. i was all, this is what we do. they were all this isnt what you do.

4/21 tomdog turns a million

4/22 gay lovers climb tree, then have sex

4/26 weekend date with a swedish girl: i ate a lot of cheese this weekend.

4/27 i hate tuesdays. i hate wednesdays. i hate mondays. im screwed.

4/28 friends is dead. thank God.

4/29 mc brown takes a good pic of one of my id badges

4/30 i got to teach a class at my old college while my favorite teacher watched

daze reader + fimoculous + riley dog + jaylex

highlites from march ’04

on the busblog

3/1 kristin gets interviewed by adrants

3/2 chad and mist buy my afro and i make them a mix cd

3/3 i feel like a wild beast that’s been caged for years. and not just any old animal. king of the damn jungle.

3/4 interview with the xbi shrink

q. are you happy with your salary?

a. i get a salary?!

3/6 lunch with my little brother

3/7 the busblog meets melting dolls

3/9 my astrology says that this is a good time for me to look up into the heavens and bitch to the Lord Almighty about all the things that are going wrong in my life.

3/10 today is the first day of the waste of my life

3/11 beat the E! kids at bowling

3/12 bunny and i go to isla vista and make a photo essay

3/13 my girlfriend knows how to bowl

3/15 remind me never to return from vacation again

3/15 fuck the rock n roll hall of fame

3/15 leapfrogging the senseless bounds of common decency and rudimentary reason miss montreal returned my text page with a simple one.

as you know one means yes and two means no.

3/16 karisa’s firsts

3/17 two of my favorite bloggers quoted me today and yesterday.

3/18 some people like having their ass licked. i dont. but some do.

3/18 the xbi has these one way glass rooms. its for interrogating. all we ever do… not we… them… all THEY ever do in those rooms is beat peoples asses and give them xbi tattoos. what they do is beat the bad guys to a pulp and then put an anchor tattoo on their shoulder and put “jimmy” or “merle” underneath it so everyone thinks theyre gay.

3/18 To: tony@tonypierce.con

From: “FCC Chairman Michael Powell” Add to Address Book

Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2004 18:50:38 -0000

Subject: Whaddup G

Yo Tony,

I’ve been reading your shit. It’s good. But why you gotta hate?

3/19 oprah explains what tossing a salad is on tv

3/19 tonightsdate: all I know is that I am horny as fuck and I am counting down the hours until I can rip your clothes off….and I am dead serious

dumbme: you have a key, right?

3/20 the dorkiest thing i did all year + part two – [ed. welch won the league]

3/23 lianas 22nd birthday

3/24 16 famous people who were born today

3/24 second best picture of the year

3/25 14 famous people who were born today

3/26 blogger support saved my ass

3/26 eternal sunshine movie review

3/27 eleven answering machine messages

3/28 best vacation picture of the year

3/29 trip to the barber shop

3/30 dear janet jackson,

3/31 getting used to getting shot

leah + jaime + raptor blog

highlights from february ’04

on the busblog

2/1 during halftime of the superbowl something awesome got revealed

2/2 is there anything gayer than making a cure mix cd?

2/3 fuck the tribune corp.

2/3 this is me. i hate life. i hate everything. hi.

2/4 black history month: black sabbath

2/4 last shred of shyness

2/5 did you know im a father? yep.

2/5 ashley has a good day

2/5 raymi interviews bunny mcintosh

2/6 todays ronald reagans birthday. fuck ronald reagan and his damn birthday.

2/7 i cut all my hair off

2/9 best part about living in hollywood is you could walk into a bar at 5:30am and run into just about anyone. karisa, paris, courtney, madonna, flea. it dont matter.

2/9 ive said it before, i’ll say it again. fuck the grammys.

2/10 a heavy butterscotch moon hung over the ghetto of east hollywood tonight as i drove to the jack in the box to get miss montreal her number four plain.

2/11 tsar live at the derby… and mc browns pics

2/12 the night i remembered miss montreal’s phone number

2/12 a review of courtney love’s americas sweetheart as i listen to it for the first time, in real time.

2/13 friday the thirteenth

2/14 valentines day

2/15 recap of my valentines night

2/16 dear tribune corp.,

now they have alex rodriguez.

you wouldnt even go after ivan rodriguez yet they now have alex rodriguez.

how is our one sammy sosa gonna beat all of their sammy sosas?

2/16 theres nothing i want more

2/18 the cubs sign greg maddux

2/18 dear prospective empoyers,

2/19 two ways to have girls fall in love with you

2/20 pretty is in the garter of the beholder

2/21 the best part about the xbi hq is the chapel

2/22 his father was a nazi police cheif so

2/23 hi my name is judge charles pickering and i also love racists

2/24 hey george bush, quit being gay

2/25 i look younger than 110

2/25 i know im being tested

2/26 howard stern gets dropped by clear channel

2/26 george, you ignorant slut

2/27 a great illustration of the howard stern situation

2/27 and while we’re at it, fuck the academy awards

2/28 the sony sportscar

2/28 today is bunny mcintosh’s birthday. shes 67.

gorilla mask + verbungle + killer boots + 17 seconds

some january ’04

busblog highlights

12/31/03 happy nude year

1/1/04 American Splendor review

1/3 madpony meets gorilla mask

1/4 end of the year questionaire

1/5 she was sexy, far too sexy for me

1/6 defending pete rose

1/9 fuck jimmy fallon. fuck friends. fuck rush limbaugh. fuck the view. fuck the president.

1/11 ashley turns 22

1/12 howard stern turns 50

1/15 don and jen get pregnant

1/16 this is called how long can you write till the cheerleader arrives

1/17 vital info about yours dumbly

1/18 review of the L-Word – …did these lesbians get a hold of that type of weed that just knocks your ass out? they act as if theyre all getting root canals in the morning. they act as if they ran a marathon yesterday and they’re still recovering.

1/20 cam sex with a cam girl

1/21 do you know i love you

1/22 hi innernet

hi tony.

whatcha doin?


1/24 ray rayner, r.i.p.

1/27 – the village voice raves about the new tsar single

1/27 dear best western,

1/28 interview with a hospitalized xbi girl

1/29 blind man on the bus

1/30 karisa and i toast the best new radio station in LA

1/31 sometimes bloggers do get laid

spitcircle + saidy + utter wonder + wunderdog

its raining its pouring

the hot chick is snoring

the gutters are pinging, the guest yacht is mooring

the butterflies are dying, the old dog is sighing

the mistletoe aint workin, the cheerleaders bowling

its raining its pouring, my heart is still healing

lionel ritchie that fucker wont stop dancing on my ceiling

the neighborgirls woke me early, the church bells are ringing

and the haters and the players and the skaters are in gators.

its raining its pouring the lawn mowers are rusting

my best friends are lusting, my house is disgusting

she came over and said wheres your maid been, vacation?

are these cigars cuban, i said, theyre awesome, and haitian

its raining its pouring and the fleas are out surfing

and the jealous arent deserving for seconds of my servings

theyre bitter and dumb and they do nothing all day

except click at me and watch and see and hate me and love me

its raining its pouring the tv is boring

cuz all they say is

omg its raining

omg its pouring

omg i have fake tits

omg im reading this

its raining its pouring and my fingers are hurting

but fuck em they chose me and i write cuz im tony

this year i saw three doctors this year they cured me

this year they xrayed and ixnayed and drugged me and stoked me

its raining its pouring and the knives fall from the skyway

broken highways and my ways litter the mindways of your secret lives

she was seventeen and perfect

except for being seventeen and perfect

and in some states thats cool unless your 110

with a bloggy thing

its raining its pouring and her letters adored me

heres my back yard heres my closet heres my little things heres my everythings

and somewhere its beautiful and sometimes are the right times

and summer changes everythings like gasoline on a duraflame

its raining its pouring

and the good times arent here again

the idea of four more years

of that fucking queer

nearly shook the earth off its axis

and the rums all piled up and the pr0ns been downloaded

and the wines marinated and the numbers have been bloated

and the neighborgirls and their little curls

just got their geds and their slcs

its raining its pouring the men still go whoring

cuz its new years eve its nothing eve

its bullshit eve its whatsnew eve

its raining its pouring and the firetrucks are roaring

cuz the neighborboys dont ever notice when its raining

or when its pouring

isou + radiohumper + bing