she said i wont kiss you if you have a beard

i said thats funny cuz im not gonna shave it off until i get laid again.

she said well i hope you get used to it grizzly adams.

i said, you dont know what youre missing little miss muffet who sat on her stuckup.

she said, omg im so sure, im so not stuck up.

i was all, talk is cheap and so is that wine, drink up and prove it baby.

and she was like, im a lady so please dont call me baby, mr suave.

i was all, we can kiss without the stubble poking your smooth as a babys ass olive of olay skin

she went oh youre so slick is this what all the girls fall for?

and i went baby look at this beard, nobody has fallen for shit for a while.

and i puckered up real good and she looked at me

i opened up one eye and looked around

she was there, smoking


ashing on my new tj score

totally amused with my behavoir as one would be if one hadnt ever seen a monkey play the piano before.

jimi hendrix strumming on a boombox…

im waaaaaait-ing i sang

she inhaled again and laughed and blew a stroom of smoke away from us, leaned forward and gave me a peck.

i accepted and fell over backwards dramatically holding my heart

omg i said

quiverring ever so


i got back up after some time and wiped the fake sweat off my brow

and said, omg agian and then ok i think im ready for another, just let me catch my breath

she said, we had no agreements about a second kiss

always be closing my dear i said and i rubbed my hands together, stuck my chin up and pursed my lips ever so un-romantically

and said, with eyes closed, no sneaking that toungue in there this time, i barely know you.

she protested, i didnt do any such thing! and ashed the whole marlboro light out.

crawled across the picnic blanket toward me

pushed me over

looked at me

and dipped down

scratching that pale skin

but not caring

and flashing the mexicans behind her

who nearly tipped their service golf cart over.

howard owens does some Rain Blogging

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