r icon? are u trying to piss me right off?
raymi: kidding

dumbass of america: it’s her birthday, show a little love!

raymi: ok this has to be a quick interview because i have to walk into town to drink some of my cheap beers before we drive to a concert

raymi: ok i dont want a picture of some old man with a yankee hat on
raymi: ok next question

dumbass of america: do you love me?

raymi: yes

dumbass of america: great

raymi: are you needy today?

dumbass of america: only a little
dumbass of america says: how about you

raymi says: i am glad that you suggested that boy buy me beers one time because he did it and i had no money and it was like wow this whole blogging thing works in the real world i totally forgot
raymi says: oh i am always needy but whatever this “interview” is about you
raymi says: ok so this is another blook right

dumbass of america says: yes its another blook
dumbass of america says: this one is way different though

raymi says: like it is less shitty than the first one?

dumbass of america says:cuz the first one was “This Is How Shitty Your First Year Will Be.”
dumbass of america says: exactly

raymi says: oh u have to put the “i chose raymi as best blogger” thing up again so people can know about it and i can brag about it to people who have no idea about blogs and hopefully get them to give me money or something

dumbass of america says: done
dumbass of america says: im so sorry about that btw

raymi says: ok so like are you going to do anything to change your life ever

dumbass of america says: im in the process
dumbass of america says: i am applying for new jobs
dumbass of america says: that normally changes everything

raymi says: i dont care tony like i only have to get upset about something for a little while and then i am over it

raymi says: well are u going to move away from that fucking hollywood sign?

dumbass of america says: never
dumbass of america says: my rent is so cheap my landlord keeps trying to figure out ways to evict me. never once does he say, here’s a bag of money: leave!

raymi says: do u know any sceinonologists?

dumbass of america says: i met beck’s brother once. he played me midnight vultures months before it came out. thats about as close as i got.

raymi says: are u losing all of your hair yet?

dumbass of america says: i shaved it off a while ago

raymi says: are you sensitive about that question.

dumbass of america says: only a little
dumbass of america says: but not really
dumbass of america says: i know im olde
dumbass of america says: you really dont read me much do you?

raymi says: i do but u are like confusing u have all these links and pictures and i am always looking for stuff about me
raymi says: and then there are all these hollywood pictures and i am like yaaaaawn
raymi says: u need to talk about other stuff

dumbass of america says: well i could easilly make a I Heart Raymi blog but then people get the wrong idea
dumbass of america says: what should i write about?

raymi says: like i know u work for the xbi or whatever and maybe have access to secret stuff but i guess that works for boring lame people who care about current events in media and sports

raymi says: um write less about girls who come over to yer apt to be all i heart tony because then yer guy readers will be like i hate tony

dumbass of america says: i have no access to secret stuff thru the xbi

raymi says: like i think yer readers would want tony to grow up and get married or have a steady girl who isnt 14 yrs old and goes to vegas to buy halloween costumes because she has dumb hair

dumbass of america says: yikes
dumbass of america says: that was years ago baby

raymi says: ok well u live in hollywood and have access to weird people?

dumbass of america says: all i have access to is the internet
dumbass of america says: i have all the same access as anyone

raymi says: i know it was years ago but there are only so many things i can remember
raymi says: ok well then fine i am already forgetting the point i was trying to make

dumbass of america says: but since you bring her up
dumbass of america says: i dated ashley*, who was young, i will admit that
dumbass of america says: but i havent even really talked to her in like a year or two
dumbass of america says: but we loved each other
dumbass of america says: im no agist
dumbass of america says: and theres stuff in the new book about us breaking up

raymi says: well dating young is fine, just dont date dumb-young
raymi says: i like looking at those pictures though kuz even tho i hate celebrities i love looking at their cleavages

dumbass of america says: oh i have some nude courtney love pics then

raymi says: ok she is boring i dont care next question
raymi says: do u have a negative body image?

dumbass of america says: no
dumbass of america says: i like my bod
dumbass of america says: i have a little hairy belly that all the girls seem to like
dumbass of america says: my dick works fine
dumbass of america says: my ass sorta smells occassionally
dumbass of america says: but everything else seems pretty normal

raymi says: dude people reading this interview are going to be like tony thinks he is a porn star
raymi says: anyway

dumbass of america says: god i wish. maybe in heaven where it;s kosher.

raymi says: ok so when are u going to go to canada
raymi says: and completely come undone
raymi says: do u feel safe in los angeles
raymi says: are u afraid of the east side

dumbass of america says: i live on the east side of hollywood
dumbass of america says: eassside up, wessside down

raymi says: i am talking about the futhafuckin east coast

dumbass of america says: i feel totally safe in LA cuz i dress like a gangsta
dumbass of america says: oh that easside
dumbass of america says: only reason i want to go to TO is to see you in your natural domain
dumbass of america says: and get doubleteamed by terra and paige

raymi says: like u are um biggie and we are 2pac or whatever i think
raymi says: who the hell are terra and paige

dumbass of america says: im nwa
dumbass of america says: two youngsters in TO

raymi says: gross
raymi says: i mean
raymi says: are they lame

dumbass of america says: youre a youngster too babydoll
dumbass of america says: no theyre great

raymi says: am i older than they are

dumbass of america says: by maybe one year

raymi says: ok so i can boss them around and stuff?
raymi says: do they think they are better than me?

dumbass of america says: in my fantasies you boss us all around
raymi says: nice.

dumbass of america says: i wouldnt visit anyone who thought htat
raymi says: woah awesome.

dumbass of america says:
can i tell you something off the record

raymi says: i like that blogs are like highschool and i get to be the leader even though everyone is like i hate her
raymi says: tell it

dumbass of america says: [secret]

raymi says: and…

dumbass of america says: [secret]

raymi says: hhahah
raymi says: thanks

dumbass of america says: ok back to being on the record
dumbass of america says: isnt that weird though?>

raymi says: no

dumbass of america says: great

raymi says: ok lets stop being pervy

dumbass of america says: ok

raymi says: well i think it is kuz people get mega obsessed ove my pssy

dumbass of america says: msn chat does this to me

raymi says: its like a young looking one

dumbass of america says: i like your ass more
dumbass of america says: im not sure ive seen it though

raymi says: yeh well im all over perfect i guess

dumbass of america says: oh wait yea i have
dumbass of america says: ahahaha
raymi says: heheh

dumbass of america says: what would you change to your bod if you could?

raymi says: love handles and upper arms
raymi says: make them firmer
raymi says: they got firmer overthe summer when i was hyper longboarding and shit

dumbass of america says: baby youre so fine, dont change a thing
raymi says: ok then dont ask me that question juzt to come back with that
raymi says: every girl has her insecurities
raymi says: doi
raymi says: ok i seriously have to go drink beer now

dumbass of america says: ok seriously thanks for interviewing me
dumbass of america says: one last question
dumbass of america says: how do you like that nirvana box set?

raymi says: i do not own it my friend owns it and i like it just fine’
raymi says: ok xo

thanks raymi!

win free tickets to tomorrow night’s show at Spaceland!

the best band in rock returns to their old stomping grounds, spaceland, formerly dreams in silverlake california.

as you can see from the flashing advert on the left hand side there, Tsar is one of the Class of ’05 featured LA bands per the LA Weekly.

and as you probably know, i have a pretty sweet relationship with the Weekly and Tsar so i have a pair of tickets for you to witness the rock tomorrow night.

we’ve had contests here before and usually we’ve had a little more heads-up time to figure out something to make you do – hoops to jump through – to get tickets, but since i just was offered to give away these tix yesterday heres what ive come up with

tsar loves haiku

tony loves haiku

baby Jesus loves haiku

from what i understand even Britney Spears (not pictured) whose 24th birthday is today loves haiku.

so the person who delivers the best Tsar-related haiku wins the duckets.

the boys have been traveling around Canada opening for Juliette Lewis and the Licks rocking nearly every night, and you can imagine how strong their chops are now. meaning, if you want your rock and roll ass kicked, tomorrow night is the show to go to.

if you live in LA and have never been blessed with this baptism of fire, i seriously cannot think of a better venue or time than spaceland tomorrow.

but heres some tips:

get close.

stand in the middle.

and if you really want to prepare properly, pick up Band Girls Money and listen to the first 7 songs – which is the heart of their playlist, currently.

Spaceland is a great place but the sound varies GREATLY depending on if youre near the bar or in the line of fire.

be in the line of fire.

you only live once my friends so my advice is LIVE.

the lucky haiku writer will have their name on the LA Weekly guest list so bring a valid ID. 21 yrs old and older.

and if you wanna hunt me down and buy me a pabst or a shot, i think that can be arranged.

i’ll be the knucklehead in the front row with the camera strapped around his neck like a dillweed.

good luck bashos!

about nine here + and a ton over here + and about nine on INXS.com