got lost right before the border

an> cuz i had to get rid of my canadian money
then when i got to the border they wanted to do a “random” search of my car
so i had to park, get out of the car, enter their building answer questions
and then let them go through my entire car
while i was in there i saw that of the people who had been asked
to submit to this random search, no one was white, no one.
then they came back and asked me again where i was going
and why i had been in canada and why i was driving all the way up there
from hollywood california and i said because i love to drive
and they gave me my keys back and i was back on the road.
im about an hour outside of portland now and its raining a little
and im in the parking lot of a restaurant called
kit carson
that advertises a coffee shope AND a cantina room
but i aint got time for that mess,
ive got a lot of miles afore me and for some reason im not sleepy
even though i havent really gotten a lot of sleep lately
but they just played the entire 1975 LA Roxy Springsteen show
on the Springsteen channel on sirius
which was good cuz my ipod seems to be acting up.
and the new INXS cd is stuck in the cd player of the radio
which sux cuz matt gave me his greatest hits
but at least i have sirius and the classic country station
and of course talk radio
and if things get really dull i could pick up a wet hitchhiker
i suppose.
and when he or she asks me my name i will say
raymi le minx.
pix later
this hijacked wifi isnt letting me upload pix

i think in my last life i was a truck driver

cuz when i wake up in a town i just want to get the hell out of it and move on, even though i have a nice crepe breakfast lined up with the goods in a half hour and then a pint with mr ciavarro, but deep down i want to drive to the border and see what sorta drama they wanna try to hand me.

i want them to ask me all those wwII questions they asked people to find out if they were really american. like whos the president and who won the world series this year.

fucking white sox won the world series this year.

say it like that and not only do they know that youre an american but they’ll know youre a cub fan and youre in.

im so dumb for leaving my passport in my breakfast nook. im so dumb for being 113 yrs old and not figuring out by now how to do these trips as my job. but if it was my job they would have deadlines on my shit. id have to have written something about seattle that was palpable for the masses and thats one of the beauties of paid advertising on blogs: the sponsors will pony up and you can lay out whatever you want.

2005 was pretty good for the busblog, i invented 15 minutes with tony and probably a few other things ive forgotten about, but the secret plot for coming to vancouver was to get re-inspired for the new blog, the antibusblog, the second cumming.

anyone can have one decent blog but to have two, well thats something the instapundit doesnt even have, and yes im talking about his msnbc afterthought and the pajamas media stillbirth.

im listening to loretta lynns van lear rose and if i had a second blog this year i would know what the best records of 2005 were. but right now all i can think of is kanye and tsar. did anything else come out this year? beck? ha. matt didnt know that beck was a sceintology how can people not know that? when you live in hollywood they’ll approach you and i always tell them that when beck puts out a decent record i’ll think about it but as long as he keeps letting these yawners see the light then im out.

the second blogs purpose is two fold, the first fold is to put all the stuff i should be blogging in a beautiful box that pops out like oragami and is easier searchable and pretty and proper and web 2.0, the other fold is to put all the stuff ive always wanted to write about in a familiar box that is slower to load and uglier and rougher and even more real.

the other day matt wrote that he knows only two pure bloggers, me and raymi and thats pretty much the best compliment that i can get. but i know how much purer i can be. for example, what was the best porno i rented in 2005? service animals 18 of course. who was the best girl i fingered this year? anna kournikova of course. what was the best meal i ate this year, paris hilton of course. who has the weirdest life in the world, yours truly and im in a once cold hotel room in vancouver thats now too hot. and the musics too loud and the rooms too dark and my teeth needs brushing.

even before matt showed me his blog post where he called me and raymi pure he said you dont need two blogs and i said i want the busblog to be more like raymi, more raw, more real, more punkrock more idontgiveafuck. best thing that ever happened to me was getting laid off by E! because even though i pretended not to give a fuck you have a strike against you when your boss wants you out and another strike against you when theres an HR department and another strike against you when everyone knows you have a bloog, so the only thing you can do is swing at a ball in the dirt and try to beat the throw at first.

working for buzznet is still tricky because in a way i am a representative for that company and who knows if one day someone will say holy fuck tony pierce works for you and you let him say what his fingers smell like in his blog? what does that mean about your company? and the more i drive through the blue highways of america i see that its all about having your own thing that brings you your cash because then you can wear a tshirt under your overalls that has a picture of your middle finger. not that i have anything against working for marc brown, bro gave me these two weeks to find myself and meet some of you and drive drive drive. im just saying one day buzznet is gonna have an hr department and unless im sr vp of that department someones gonna say tony cant be writing what hes writing cuz its making our company look bad.

which is ironic because nothing that i will ever write will be as bad as illegally spying on americans or sending boys to war over no wmds or spending without taxing or outting cia agents, but… and its sixteen minutes to crepes and as much as id like to keep writing here in the dark i have to wash my ass and check out of this mamajama and brush my teeth hopefully not in that order but if i dont write to you from oregon later tonight it means that they stopped me at the border and wouldnt let me cross but theres far worse places to be stuck than in vancouver where i still have yet to see an ugly girl.

its 334am im in vancouger

and because im supposed to be asleep and cuz imn a little bit drunk i will make this a 15 minutes with tony and we’ll call it a night.

first of all i must tip myh cap to the good people of elimitaste, the gum people who have sent me gum and advertised on my blog… well tonight they paid for a tank of gas for the road trup, so thanks fellas and thanks to0 jeanene who had something to do with it too. im confuesed.

had a hard time getting across the boarder. dont ever drive across the boarder. first they make you form two lines of cars. then they dont let either move for a good 15 minutes, then they ask you fore a passport. i was all wtf i dont need no stinking passport to leave my damn country in a CAR. but they swore you do now. so i say alls i got is this drivers license. and they say a dl isnt proof of citizenship.

i was all, since when? ive been to mexico a hundred times… anyways they let me into canada and now im a little nervous about making back into america tomorrow but if worse comes to worse i’ll just friggin go to the vancouver airport and have my buddy at homeland security deport me back to america.

so tonight for some reason i thought i had made plans with smelly danielly but when that didnt happen i called up both matt good and chad ciavarro and left messages and took a shower. when i got out of the showere murphys law they both wanted to do something so since matt was right around the corner he his wife and their friend from colorado all ate sushi on granville. then back to their place for port and wine and board games and petting of the dogs.

then i raomed the streets of vancity which was fun because it made me feel superior becasue drunkards are dumbshits. this one kid seriously punched the glass window of this store and broke it. but the fucker did it right in front of TWO cops! he was all, i was just testing the durability of this window.

dur… so they handcuffed him as his friends called him a jackhole.

then this one guy started puking around the cornerl, then this other guy asked me for money. then i went to a pizza place and ordered a slice and had to listen to these two guys swear that there was no cheese on these pizza slices.

so lets wrap this up by saying i talked to my mom on the phone when i was in seattle and i was gasping at how gorgeous that city is. i have no idea how kurt could have killed himself. life is a mystery, above is me singing karoke to pants last night in tacoma. i sucked but f0rtunealy others sucked harder. pants ruled. she was the hosue favorite.

next year im gonan have two blogs. matt is designing tghe other oen. this one is gonna be dirtieer and sexier and im gonna say fuck more. the other one is gonna be more straighht laced.

im gonna do it for two reasons. fiorst is cuz this one is blocked by lo0ts of servers, so if people are gonna block me then i may as well put titties on here and write porn reviewes and talk more about all the loads of sex i get.

the other one will be more about things i dont talk about here that i should, like spoorts and politics and movies i see and general thoughts that i have like about this sirius satalite radio that ive been listening to almost the entire trip. its fucking insane. today i started listening to the comedy channels fior once. RAW DOG is dirty comedy like chappelle, the other comedy is cosby and seinfeld and pg-143 crap but good.

of course theres howard and espn shows and nprs and all the music you can shake a stick at. this morning all i listened to was the stones channel.

then i turned it off when i got to seattle, and plugged myu iopod into the aux jack and played nirvana as i drove around where jkurt ended it all.

Stiff woudlnt have been around without kurdt and i listened to nevermind twice and all the others once and i miss you kiurt and Stiff if its anything is my daydream that kurt kobain is in heaven and not the place the bible says he probably is.

the official gum of the busblog roadtrip