a year ago today karisa and i got drunk… surprise

karisa and i had a great time at the xbi christmas party. im hungover now. and i have to put together something for the Screen Savers so i have to make this short.

karisa called me at 5pm saying that she was feeling ill. so she went home and took a power nap and called me at 7pm and had rallied. shes the ultimate trooper.

she picked me up at 8:30p looking devistating in a little chinese girl outfit complete with long dangling earrings with tiny stars on the ends. gorgeous.

we got to the Hollywood Palladium where i had seen many beastie boys concerts, i saw the replacements there, i interviewed Rollins there before a Gwar show. id seen the chili peppers there, id seen, shit, so many shows. and there we were dancing like in olden times when sinatra would play.

full bar. free bar. great bar. lots of stations everywhere. loved it. the lines weren’t so bad.

then there was the food. i believe wolfgang puck catered. it wasnt bad.

the decorations were wonderful.

max factor were doing makeovers for people in the champaign room.

karisa and i danced and danced. that was nice.

earlier in the evening i was looking for proper shoes to wear. i wore a sweater and slacks and i wanted some dress shoes.

i literally turned my bed upside down looking for these shoes that i never wear.

i could not find the shoes and a little voice said

tony, if youre bringing a chick as hot as karisa you can wear any fucking shoes you want.

and that voice couldnt be more right.

even the transexuals on the dancefloor agreed.

and here i am hungover and happy.

thanks karisa for once again being a great date.

more pics + we also went together in 2003 + in 2002 i was pimping you raymi

what can you say about Richard Pryor

who passed away this morning here in Los Agneles?

groundbreaking, trailblazing, funny as hell, multi-dimensional, terrific actor, and without whom there wouldnt have been eddie murphy,

chris rock or dave chappelle.

well, maybe those guys would have been around,

but it wouldnt have been as easy for them if pryor hadnt made them seem tame in comparison.

Here are some quotes from the Man, followed by the script of a skit he did in the first season of SNL.

On being Black: “It’s been a struggle for me because I had a chance to be white and refused.”

“I went to Zimbabwe…I know how white people feel in America now, relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren’t coming after me!”

“I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, I wanna grow up and be a critic.”

“I’d like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I’m gonna be on for an hour.”

“When I did cocaine, I felt like a new man… and he wanted some too.”

“Justice in the courts? Yeah, there’s justice in the courts…just us niggers!”

“When you ain’t got no money, you gotta get an attitude.”

[as televangelist] “People are always asking me, Reverend; if you need money so bad, why don’t you sell one of your houses, or cars or get rid of some of that jewelry?’ And I always reply, ‘Are you crazy!'”
[looks at the phone bank]
“How much money have we raised so far? None! OK, this is a message for all you white people out there. Part of the money we raise tonight will go to the Back to Africa movement and… [every phone rings]


Racist Word Association Interview

Interviewer…..Chevy Chase
Mr. Wilson…..Richard Pryor

Interviewer: Alright, Mr. Wilson, you’ve done just fine on the Rorshact.. your papers are in good order.. your file’s fine.. no difficulties with your motor skills.. And I think you’re probably ready for this job. We’ve got one more psychological test we always do here. It’s just a Word Association. I’ll throw you out a few words – anything that comes to your mind, just throw back at me, okay? It’s kind of an arbitrary thing. Like, if I say “dog”, you’d say..?

Mr. Wilson: “Tree”.

Interviewer: “Tree”. [ nods head, prepares the test papers ] “Dog”.

Mr. Wilson: “Tree”.

Interviewer: “Fast”.

Mr. Wilson: “Slow”.

Interviewer: “Rain”.

Mr. Wilson: “Snow”.

Interviewer: “White”.

Mr. Wilson: “Black”.

Interviewer: “Bean”.

Mr. Wilson: “Pod”.

Interviewer: [ casually ] “Negro”.

Mr. Wilson: “Whitey”.

Interviewer: “Tarbaby”.

Mr. Wilson: [ silent, sure he didn’t hear what he thinks he heard ] What’d you say?

Interviewer: [ repeating ] “Tarbaby”.

Mr. Wilson: “Ofay”.

Interviewer: “Colored”.

Mr. Wilson: “Redneck”.

Interviewer: “Junglebunny”.

Mr. Wilson: [ starting to get angry ] “Peckerwood!”

Interviewer: “Burrhead”.

Mr. Wilson: [ defensive ] “Cracker!”

Interviewer: [ aggressive ] “Spearchucker”.

Mr. Wilson: “White trash!”

Interviewer: “Jungle Bunny!”

Mr. Wilson: [ upset ] “Honky!”

Interviewer: “Spade!

Mr. Wilson: [ really upset ] “Honky Honky!”

Interviewer: [ relentless ] “Nigger!”

Mr. Wilson: [ immediate ] “Dead honky!” [ face starts to flinch ]

Interviewer: [ quickly wraps the interview up ] Okay, Mr. Wilson, I think you’re qualified for this job. How about a starting salary of $5,000?

Mr. Wilson: Your momma!

Interviewer: [ fumbling ] Uh.. $7,500 a year?

Mr. Wilson: Your grandmomma!

Interviewer: [ desperate ] $15,000, Mr. Wilson. You’ll be the highest paid janitor in America. Just, don’t.. don’t hurt me, please..

Mr. Wilson: Okay.

Interviewer: [ relieved ] Okay.

Mr. Wilson: You want me to start now?

Interviewer: Oh, no, no.. that’s alright. I’ll clean all this up. Take a couple of weeks off, you look tired.

[ fade ]

impressive photo tribute over at buzznet, thnx boink! + golden fiddle + technorati

just because im in love with sarah silverman

doesnt mean that im not antisemetic because it’s a faraway love. a starcrush. a fantasyfling.

a daydream.

a sigh.

plus i dont like the title of her new movie “jesus is magic” and i wont go to it.

even though i bet its awesome.

religious humor to me is the the only type thats over-the-line. partially because it’s too easy, and partially because its not nice to make fun of other peoples faith.

anything else is fine.

with that said, id totally bone sarah silverman if she wasnt dating jimmy kimmel, whose show ive attended twice now and respect. and i dont bone girlfriends of people i respect, which is why i used to accept paris hiltons drunk text pages until she started dating perez hilton.

anyways, thanks to todays Metafilter i learned that sarah has a new Christmas video out called Give the Jew Girl Toys

which only increases my fantasy hardon for her.

i know its a joke and shes not gonna take over the Chappelle Show but she totally should.

Blacks and Jews have far more in common than what seperates us

ok thats totally a lie

but i still think she should take over for chappelle on the Chappelle Show and do half of the skits in blackface

ted danson in blackface – not funny

sarah silverman in blackface – funny

santa, give the jew girl toys – funny

these snippets from her new movie that i wont go see unless its on a date with a jewish girl adn then laugh about afterwards at canters in the wee hours and then take pictures of rodney bingenheimer – funny

hairbrained fear that LA is gonna riot if Tookie Williams gets executed – very funny – however perfect timing for my Christmas looting needs.

by the way, if you were interested in an autographed copy of Stiff before Christmas now would be an excellent time to order one. not only are supplies running short, but i’m a triflin negro who doesnt always have his shit together – therefore if youve already have an order in and havent yet received it, email me with the subject header of “wtf” and make sure to tell me when you paypaled my ass.

i dont think there are any outstanding orders that im unaware of, but i just wanna make sure.

splink + jmo + alert status blond + spidercamp