are the kids talking about sea wolf in your town? jenn sherry talked to me about them at sxsw and theres nothin wrong with that girl.

i got their ep soon after and i put it at the end of the new dinosaur and it nice to hit shuffle and write and write and write.

yesterday i took a lost young spirit on a walk around los feliz, atwater, and echo park.

the only time i leave my house is when there are girls over. is that what you call a paradox?

this girl has lived in la her whole life and had never ridden the bus so we took the 181 from los feliz to echo park and she was completely shocked that a bus ran past the bigfoot lodge.

“ive been to this bar countless times and ive never seen a bus go by”.

countless? the bitch is 20.

we walked through the nighborhood and its windy roads and diverse architecture and she was all, walkings weird.

and i held her hand because you know what, walking is weird.

we went to the atwater village street fair and ate free cookies and played with free puppies and ate fifty cent snow cones created by the Teen Club, no kidding, and i worried that she might know someone in the tent

and we took the bus towards echo park and it dropped us off under sunset and we walked up the stairs to sunset and walked past Taix and i said this is the most walking ive done in quite a while and she was all i dont think ive ever walked this much ever

i said didnt you guys run when you were a cheerleader?

and she was all i was never a cheerleader.

which was weird because for some reason i thought she had been one. very perky. very supportive.

and she pulled up the back of the her skirt and flashed a nice bit of ass revealing a scary tattoo of the devil smoking a cigarrette

she said, you couldnt cheer at our school if you had a tattoo.

and i never wanted my name under something more before ever.

she doesnt like being called that but she no longer lives in america thus her freedoms have been stripped from her.

the first thing you would probably notice when you first see her are her big blue eyes. they will entrance you so you look down.

but then you cant really look down, as a gentleman, so you look back up and there they go mezmorizing you.

so you look at her lips.

worst mistake of all.

im pretty sure her parents are reading the busblog today so how do you do mr and mrs s im now going to type very dirty things about your daughter

you might want to look away

i have a photograph of the birthday girl on my wall in my bedroom (not pictured)

its one of my favorite pictures

surrounded by other of my favorite pictures.

theyre in my bedroom because theyre some of the first things that i see every morning and i like it that way.

at the foot of my bed i have a big drew barrymore poster, one of isla vista, and a painting i made on wood with watercolor called bruce sutter plays catch in his back yard.

but next to my door are photos of my friends and some of my exes.

in this picture that i love so is our girl looking up from a menu.

we are about to eat an early dinner next to a canal in amsterdam.

she couldnt look more lovely.

and if you knew her, you could probably detect a slight blush.

shes so demonstrative that the words literally spell themselves out on her forhead

im wasted, bone me

hey tony watch that lady eat

religions for assholes

there was nothing we wouldnt tell each other which is why i think we remain so close.

actually the reason i think we are so close is because all the forces in the universe want it to be that way and theres nothing we can do about it.

she is stuck with me, worlds biggest loser

and im stuck with her, sweetest ass in america africa.

shes blushing because i asked her a very dirty question and shes answering it.

before the web, before i ever went to canada, i wrote poems.

poems got me through college, they got me published first, they got me laid first.

and for some reason ive given up on them in the same way ive given up personal blogging.

probably because i dont want girls to get topless for me because of my poems or blogging any more.

i want them to get topless because theyre incredibly horny

and will settle for anyone.

yes, i want to be their rock bottom.

the other day i was talking to someone about the mendoza line. im sure wikipedia knows the dude’s first name, but there was a baseball player who was Just good enough to make the pros. if you were worse than him youd get dropped to the minors. if you played better than him you could stay in the bigs. his name was mendoza.

i want to be the dude that the super hot chick in free fall comes stumbling home some morning and says, i fucked the hell outta tony pierce.

and their super model roommate goes NO!

and she starts crying.

and they silently drive to rehab

holding hands.

there was a time when i was so depressed after having moved away from isla vista that all i could do was write sad poems and title them whatever i was listening to on the boom box at that moment.

one of my favorites was called acdc let there be rock

its also prince’s birthday, but anti has made better videos this century

happy birthday bro!

i know my job there is a happy thing to everyone except the readers of the busblog, but it is my dream job, it has made me very very very content, it has given me unbelievable opportunities (like being able to drive around the country to meet some of you), and i have done some pretty cool things over there.

in a year we’ve tripled the size of the staff and quadrupled the hits. all at a minimal amount of financial expense. and magically the ads have multiplied in price and number of sponsors.

the only loser in the mix has been the busblog, my true love.

but sometimes you have to sacrifice your foreskin to prove that youre part of the team.

and then slice off the foreskins of your enemies.

which ive gladly done.

and will present to you next year at this time.

in the meantime heres a super long interview that i just did with former LAist editor Carolyn who grills me about my year, the busblog, and my schedule

even if its good plans.

its 242am and ive been procrastinating going to bed because i have to go to bed early tonight (anything before 420am) because i have a big day tomorrow because i have to be at capital records by 11am to see poison play in this little famous studio they have there.

its going to be a live broadcast over the web. might be new songs, might be old ones. who cares. its poison, but better its the capital building. even though ive lived here forever ive never been in that building and i cant wait.

theyll be pictures have no fear.

and then later i have to interview andy dick at the rainbow room.

my body is a cage.

last month on LAist was our second biggest month ever. and because it wasnt the best ever i didnt really appreciate it. also i believe some chads were miscounted. all in all it wasnt a pleasant victory even though it should have been.

im so ridiculous. i should be happy. fine, i am happy then.

im happy the cubs won, and the ducks won. im happy i had good chinese food at this place that always reminds me of chris. im happy i saw joe on saturday and callie on sunday, which is very strange, but life is weird like that.

but most of all im happy that paris hilton is in jail because we can all reflect a little on our lives during this time that paris has to suffer.

i think we should all suffer along with her. not go into solitary confinement for three weeks and eat baloney sandwhiches, but maybe do something that we really dont like doing.

for example, im going to go to bed early and before i go to bed im going to read a book.

somewhere along the line i stopped reading books, oh thats right when the internet came out and was basically the greatest collection of reading materials in the world.

ive been eating chocolate creme pie every day for a week.

im going to eat it right now too.

even though i brushed my teeth.

why? because paris hilton cant.

and when have you ever been able to do something that she couldnt do.

a writer bitchslaps mtv, we interview albert hammond jr., chad continues covering the stanley cup, we tell you how to write to paris hilton in the slammer, we write a letter to london about their olympic logo that looks like lisa simpson giving head, and yours truly interviewed the plane that crashed in Upland.

i think i will eat lunch now.

which is the only reason im playing this
because its sorta gross.

although i bet raymi would like it