rock music was changing for the better.
of course it quickly changed back for the worse
but for a little while it was alive and loud and great

near my house. and theres this one girl who keeps emailing me who lives by me and i kept saying how come you never send me any pictures. no pics make me think youre a dude, or worse.

she said tell ya what hon. i was all, there are very few worse things you can call me than hon. she said i will meet you at cheetahs and if you dont think im hot then you can look at the dancers who are hot.

have i ever told you i love you.

people have asked for more pics from the trip to vegas, specifying more of karisa and one person asked for the worst picture of karisa from the trip and id have to say that this is it.

unfortunately for all of you i took way more video than still images but i didnt know how to get that video off the mini dvd and onto youtube and people were all your cameras broke or dude you can only play it you cant edit it.

and once again i had bought expensive electronics and had been hugely disappointed.

what i need to do is become friends with a camera company. if they only knew what i did for a living and who i work with. all of us could use some good cameras. and if we had the right stuff we could say look at what this camera did and the proof would be in the puddin cuz to the right is a photo from a $1,110 sony camera.

now true the camera could have been as stunned as the photographer was when karisa bounded out of her room to model her new purchase. and i guess theres a story or two about helping her try on party dresses in the outlet stores across the street from whiskey petes at the state line.

but today is saturday and the cubs are on against the cardinals.

and its cubs down by one in the eighth

so i hafta concentrate.

i just wanted to post that horrible picture and this funny exchange between tony snow who is retiring from being the presidents chief bullshitter and helen thomas the long time presidential reporter

Q What’s the U.S. role in all this?
MR. SNOW: Well, the U.S. role is one of working with Israel and, when possible, with the Palestinians to try to generate a peace — the same it’s always been, Helen –
Q Then why is it bankrupting the Palestinians?
MR. SNOW: The Palestinians are not being bankrupted, Helen. What’s happening, as you know, is that there is — Hamas is a terrorist organization. We do not give money to terrorist organizations. What has happened is that this government has tried in a number of ways to make humanitarian aid available to the Palestinian people. We draw a distinction between Hamas, which is –
Q And they were democratically elected.
MR. SNOW: They were democratically elected and they’re still a terrorist organization.
Q By your designation.
MR. SNOW: Yes. Thank you very much, Helen. They are, in fact, by the designation of this government, this administration, and prior administrations. So let me continue my answer.
Q Go ahead.
MR. SNOW: Thank you.
Q You’re welcome.
MR. SNOW: By the way, that’s a nice apple.

but the last month on LAist, and in these comments.
and in real life.

ive had people tell me to do certain things. me, tony pierce. king of the world. master of everything. teller of things, not doer of fuckers.

one guy said we were covering thai food too much.
one guy told me my pictures were blurry.
one guy told me not to brag or complain.
one guy told me that a year old thing i had written was bad.
one guy told me my boss should fire me. two guys. and then they wrote him.
two ladies on the red carpet seriously told me to only let them talk to the A listers, not only as if i wasnt standing there, but as if me standing there was in their way.
one guy yelled at me because his 8 yr old daughter Could have seen the word fuck on the screen of his Yahoo RSS Reader
one guy yelled at me because we put pictures of weed on the web
and one guy said that because some of our writers and photographers have taken pictures of Spoon, that somehow we had disinfranchised him

and God made me editor of this shit because
little did anyone know how many different ways there are to say
blow me

i did.

i was horrible on the radio today because she sat across from me smoking menthols and not laughing not talking not loving not looking

she sat there and smiled as she went through all of my magazines and watched me sweat from technical difficulties and cellphones ringing and text messages.

whens it over she wrote on a post it.

never id say.

rock n roll radio greatest station in the world…

consumerist had linked the flower sign thing after boing boing did
stumbleupon kept stumbling and yet she was so unimpressed with everything

do you ever clean?

and we talked about my maid as i played music to the canadians and tried to burn mp3s but they were mp4s because iTunes is mean and all the others are dumb

but she hung. in her cut offs.

on one of the last summer nights left
before school starts

i think even the cops had a judge serve us for our server records.

its also based in LA

mark and xeni have been very nice to me ever since i met them back at this panel called live from the blogosphere.

anyways today mark linked to my story about the most deceptive sign in LA.

because i was raised right, not only do i give ladies flowers, who deserve them, from time to time, but i enjoy it. but each flower stand and place is different and im always looking for a better one.

near my house i saw this sign and i was all – nice! but then i got closer to the sign and i was all – not nice! and took a picture and put it on the web.

its amazing to see it go from my corner to LAist to stumbleupon to the museum of hoaxes to marvin the martian to reddit and now to boingboing.

i like to think of it as turning something bad into something good.

so thanks mark. say hi to xeni for mi!

drummer of the white stripes

who was suffering from exhaustion and the white stripes was forced to cancel their US tour so she could recover.

white stripes are one of my favorite bands.

partially because they tried to pretend that they were brother and sister, but were really bf/gf, and formed a really unique blues duo.

because it might be a more serious reason than what is stated publicly and because we heart her so, i present this clip from when the pair sat in on the conan obrien show for a week and rocked.

this was the epitome of what they could do on late night network tv.

Chris: hi! just saw your pics of karisa.
me: how are you baby?
Chris: doing ok. 2 days til mom comes.
me: im so impressed that shes going to Uganda!
Chris: very excited.
me: im so sorry i didnt call you back when the phone disconnected – i have been soooo busy it was nuts that day
and in 6 hours today i interview Air on the telephone and i havent been to sleep yet
Chris: wow! no problem about calling.
me: baby i asked your boy Nelly where he likes to eat when hes in LA
Chris: and?
me: Koi
hes shorter than i thought
Chris: how did you talk with nelly? he is short.
me: me and karisa went to the mtv video awards
i was on the red carpet
she was in Justin Timberlakes fantasy suite
where 50 cent and TI did mini concerts
Chris: i was just reading that! wow!
me: and Timbaland
Chris: you lie so much in your blog nobody’s going to believe you.
me: everybody believes everything on there. anyways, we were late
so we were trying to hail a cab
and we were walking the streets and dressed up
and we passed the westin where normally theres cabs for the rich
but all there was was a limo and the dude was totally checking out karisa
so i go, she needs to get to the vmas, 40 bucks
he was all, im 200
i was all 30
he was all ahahah i’ll take you two
so we rolled up on that shit in a stretch limo
Chris: haha
me: the entire thing was ridiculous
Chris: for 30 bucks!!
me: 40
Chris: sounds like it!
me: and we tipped i think 5 more cuz we got there pretty fast
our hotel was amazing
and the whole time i talked about you
Chris: where did you stay?
me: the meridian!!!
thats one reason i was talking about you – they have these suites that are so amazing
plasma screen in the living room and main bedroom
gormet kitchen, leather couches
and best of all 24 hr hot tub
how many times do you want to go to the hot tub and theyre all, closes at 9pm or some shit
so i was telling her that you and i stayed at Le Meridian in amsterdam that one time
and i took the best picture ive ever taken of you there
[wink]
Chris: haha
me: angel of everything
Chris: such a great hotel.
sounds like you guys had an amazing time!
me: baby i met miss universe
miss teen universe and miss usa
and miss teen south carolina
do you know about her?
Chris: no
me: they just had the miss teen america pagent
and she got into the interview round
and just answered this question in the dumbest way possible that turned into the funniest thing of all
while being smoking hot
and southern
anyways she was walking down the red carpet but way far away from the press
Chris: so miss teen south carolina won?
me: no cuz she fucked up that question so bad
Chris: miss teen america?
me: yes
like 17
i know, nobody watched it live, but YouTube… you know…
so she avoided everyone on the red carpet but back in the press room where i was watching the awards every once in a while a winner or a star would come out and pose
for the photographers
like 40 of them
so she came out and posed and she really is super hot
but people were all, to your left honey
no, your other left
which was sad cuz she was standing still
Chris: ha
that’s mean
me: so mean
but right now everyones saying how bad britney was in the opening
Chris: was she performing new music?
me: yes, a really good song. i interviewed the songwriter.
koi too.
Chris: but she sucked?
me: well being there youre excited so i didnt notice at first. and then when me and karisa watched the rerun later that night at the peppermill we were drunk. but i just watched it again tonight and brit was like a fat drunk tired person of about 75 years old walking through a routine for the 3rd time
but the thing is shes not that fat
shes just out of shape
but one theory is she was going to do some magic thing cuz shes dating this magician
but mtv said no at the last minute
so they didnt really give her enough time to create a new routine.
so maybe she was being punk rock against mtv by half assing the routine
and Because of YouTube, everyones watching it over and over
and i bet you right now, britneys new song is the most listened to song in the world
therefore i think shes a damn genius
Chris: haha
probably
me: tell me you dream of me in that hut in afrique
Chris: haha
i don’t live in a damn hut!
but yes, i dream of you!
me: yay!

meg white is suffering of “exhaustion” and the white stripes had to cancel their us tour
they were gonna play the forum!
Chris: they cancelled the whole tour?
not just a few shows?
me: exhaustion is usually code for needs to go to rehab
Chris: ah.
i’m a bit out of the rock and roll scene.
me: are there monkeys there?
Chris: yeah
chimps
gorillas (but only if you pay $500 to see them)
and baboons
me: we ate at an expensive restaurant
did we ever eat at an expensive restaurant?
Chris: mmm
paris we ate at a fancy place.
or expensive rather.
me: the outdoor place at night?
Chris: yeah
me: i dont remember that being that expensive
Chris: really?
i thought we were splurging that night because it was the only place open.
i had the duck with the yummy sauce.
anyway.
me: ahahahaha how do people remember these things!
scary spice is short
Chris: i’m glad you had a great time.
you are living the life
me: its nothing without you
id rather be anywhere with you
Chris: nayh
me: yayh!
Chris: vegas with karisa is the way to go.
me: merely a distraction from missing you.
Chris: ha.
ok.
i’m off.
sorry to run.
me: im sorry i havent sent your books
they will be out soon!
Chris: love hearing these stories!
me: i love you so
Chris: no worries.
i have a bunch at the moment.
me: good!
Chris: mom is probably bringing some.
me: oh right
are you going to take her out of your campsite?
Chris: ha
yeah. a bit. have a few activities planned for her.
some will wait til she comes. to see how she does.
me: the cubs lost in 14 innings today
Chris: no!
miss you!
greet everyone for me.
xo
me: ok i will
xoxoxoxoxx
miss you too!

we made it through LA fast. we talked and talked as we drove which was nice. its weird that someone ive talked to in some form every day for years still has new things to tell me during a 5 hour drive (and vice versa) but theres always new things to bring up.

our first stop was the Palms to get my press credentials. then we went to the friggn 5 star resort we’re staying at. this place has flat screens, a gormet kitchen, washer dryer, a hot tub thats 24 hours, a great gym, indoor basketball courts, raquetball, gated everything. the place is a dream.

so after we checked in, we went to the gym and worked out for an hour, then showered, got dressed up fancy and hit the Palms for dinner.

we were at this sorta expensive restaurant called NEXO or something. they had a $42 plate of spaghetti that was appetizing. everywhere people were dressed up sexy. karisa had on this short black dress. i had on this black suit with my acdc satin shirt. but noone looks at me when karisa is around – except Mr Drunky, this guy who was sitting in the booth next to us. he was wasted. kept wanting to shake my hand and “party” with us. his brother, his brother’s friend, and the hottie that they were with didnt seem impressed with is behavior.

then he broke a glass and some how evaded getting thrown out. but he kept talking to us, bothering us, finally his brother came over to apologize and got us two shots of “chocolate cake”

after dinner we tried to get into the playboy club but it was $40 cover Each. so we went to this party we had been invited to in this sweet suite that had a pool in it that went out over the edge of the building. there was free vodka a good dj and some cool people.

then we went down stairs to gamble. saw Nelly. he was wearing a yankee hat. i guess thats what he wears when hes undercover. gambled till 4am. and here we are now

waiting for a pizza before we hit the hay.

if i ever leave LA and dont move to isla vista, i hope i end up in vegas.

this girl is taking me to vegas for the weekend

so we can report on the mtv video music awards

for yr ass

red carpet style?

red carpet style.

ive made some mistakes

regrets, i have a few.

but sometimes some things are meant to be and other times weird stupid lame shit goes down and its in those times that you find out

who are your real friends

who are the real people in your life who are like you

and who want to make it work out

and who arent.

if the last thing that you said in a situation is

tell me everything that i need to do to make things right and i will do it

and if theres no response from the other end, then act as if the Lord

has hardened their heart.

act as if they dont know whats going on either fully. so treat em nice. and leave em alone.

angels walk among us. and most of them are super hot girls.

they report back to the big guy.

he says when you were mean what did you do. when you were nice did he take advantage?

when you were willing did he get bored?

i know the way things are because ive already been visited by angels who told me to live it up because i have so many bad strikes against me that my soul is doomed.

and my biggest sin of all? that when i look back all i can ever say is regrets

i only have a few.