ken writes –

see first foto:

What Not To Be For Halloween
Look, I know that anonymously judging other people on the internet plus 25 cents will get me a phone call. I know I can’t actually change anyone’s minds if they have it set. But let me please, please implore of you: DO NOT BE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING COSTUMES THIS HALLOWEEN. They are played out. A lot of people have beef with the idea of “sexy” costume like sexy nurse, sexy panther, sexy cop, etc… Look, if you’re going to dress as a sexy witch, there’s no advice I can give you about how cheesy it might be. God bless you if you want to take one day of the year to look extra slutty. I have much bigger fish to try with these costumes which purport to be clever and culturally savvy. Here they are:

Rollergirl from Boogie Nights: You will only remind people that you don’t look as good as Heather Graham. It’s a bad idea to do a “sexy” costume that’s modeled after someone way sexier than any real life girl is.

Tony to Ashley – not my fault:

Ashley to Tony – i know, i saw it awhile ago, didnt you see my comment there? someone said i was cute, so whatev. the author sounds like an ass anyway

and sure enough here are the comments:

Anonymous said… It costs 35 cents to make a call from a pay phone.

The first rollergirl was pretty cute.

Anonymous said…

‘Fake cocaine makeup’ is a *great* pet peeve.

HR Underling said…

GROSS. All of them.

Anonymous said…

You know, I actually think some of those rollergirls look pretty hot. Also, as a psychiatrist, I love the freudian slip costume (particularly the one that includes freudian phrases). And my boyfriend and I were margot and richie tenenbaum one year…i guess this all makes me a lame hipster but I’d rather see people in fake cocaine makeup than a sexy bee costume any day.

Neal said…

I’ve never seen a sexy bee. I want to see one. I would also be interested in seeing a sexy cockroach or a sexy bedbug. any sexy bug really.

Ashley in Wonderland said…

Hi I’m the first Rollergirl, thanks for being mean!

Ah the interwebs.

Above: Ashley a few years ago dressing up for halloween in vegas. Middle: me with the real rollergirl a few years ago at the shortstop on her birthday

my mom has an iphone

i dont know where she got it, but its a 3G. i used to be jealous of people who have 3gs until i saw this picture she took of me.

i know 3gs have the same cameras as the regular Gs but im glad to see that my crappy camera capabilities are the same as hers.

today we drove around and looked at “the pretty houses”. the really good ones have docks up against their backyards like we have. and almost all of them have “lanais” which are nice screens protecting the backyard area from bugs and birds and gators and jaguars.

as we drove around town i kept thinking about the first dude who cornered the Lanai market and how happy he was. i wondered what sort of life he must be living now.

The Lanai King.

all he had to do was figure out how to do the first couple and then all he had to do was farm out the work to the workingclass while he cut one deal after another. imagine the sales job. true door to door sales i would hope.

hey did you see the johnsons lanai?


ever party in your neighbors backyard? notice how little they have to clean their pool and hot tub?

thats why we have pool tops and pool boys and

you dont really want those things, what you want is a lanai. i am the Lanai King and i will tell you what, if you get one of your friends to sign up with me i will do your Lanai for half price.

can you do it in white?

i can do it in white, brown, gold if your nasty.


these kids are either eating or drinking or peeing or sleeping

they really get it about vacationing.

earlier you saw a portrait of the young boy when he had woken from sleep. this is an example of him when hes getting pretty sleepy.

notice that hes a tad more talkative, but quite possessive of his “whoopie”. so much so that if you hold it hostage you can get anything from him that you want. note to self, dont let little kids become CIA agents.

also of note, the sad torture his parents are invoking on him by making him a cub fan. im not sure that even during his lifetime he will see the cubs win the world series, but heartbreak is part of life and its good that hes learning this early.

there are several levels of genius to monty python

the first of course is that they were very funny for a medium-sized period of time.

the second of course were they were able to cash in on that genius in pretty huge financial ways – movies, records, video tapes, and later dvds.

now they have figured out a way to partner with GooTube and make a channel (and a very funny advert as theyd call it) so they could sell more vids.

my only problem is cleese in that fruity sweater. i hope i die before i get [fruity sweaters].

anyways, the black knight always prevails