whats funny is i really love my niece and nephew

a lot. but whenever they leave the house im all, omg this peace and quiet is heavenly. which is really weird because when im home i have the tv and the stereo on. i have the computer on. i have all these sounds coming at me.

when im at work i complain that the newsroom is too quiet. i ask people if we should have music playing. i wonder how anyone can work in near silence.

but two little kids, one who doesnt even talk that much, nearly makes me insane. everyone has left for the beach: my mom, sister, brother in law, two kids, foreign exchange italian au pair, everyone. but for some reason they left me with the little dog. first of all there shouldnt even be a dog here. with all those people why would you need a dog? secondly the woman who rents out this place clearly said no dogs. thirdly you know what happens when a little dog is left with me? it starts yapping. it looks out of its cage and it says please freedom and love please return to my little fluffy white cuteness.

but it doesnt know english so it just yaps. yap yap yap yap!

im here in virtual paradise. i have a beer chilling in the fridge. i have an indoor/outdoor pool and hottub bubbling with warmth saying tony come here. i have a stereo ready to be cranked. yes i have some work that needs to be returned to. i have no time for a yapping dog. i only have time for controlled substances: sandwiches, beer, cola, chips, bubbles, and howard stern.

this dog has no clue how close it is to being an alligator snack.

speaking of, while driving through florida to this secret locale, i noticed signs warning of “panther crossing”. at first i thought it was a joke in regards to some lame college nearby. but after a while i saw more signs with actual panthers. this place be crazy.