today’s karisas birthday

shes the dirty thirty

even though we’ve known each other something like a decade now,
seems like nearly every day i am learning something new about her.
sometimes its totally disgusting things like she has webbed toes
sometimes its completely amazing like shes secretly canadian.

gotta say of all my friends, karisa and i have the weirdest deal.
sometimes i’ll see her a bunch, sometimes not for months on end.
actually thats like all my friends.

im glad i was never roommates with her because she doesnt watch the best tv shows.

Lost yeah, but all the other shows are people going through major transformations,
houses going through major transformations, history going through major transitions.
makes me a little jittery of what the next new thing i will learn about her will be.

right now its about 26 minutes after midnight and shes still at work.
so you have learned something new about karisa: she needs a male stripper to visit her workplace ASAP.

whats that knock at their door?

happy birthday karisa!

somebody turns 24 tomorrow

Bob D: TP3- What would you do to fix Aramis and DLee?

Aramis has the best incentive ever right now, it’s his contract year. but personally i dont want him to do great this year. in fact id like him to be healthy and hit .230 and only hit 7 homers. i want the cubbies to be able to resign him for the lowest price they can. DLee is another story. he just needs to keep his elbow in and stop stepping into the bucket.

Will Campbell: Any news about your wandering bike? Gonna replace it?

for the exception of you will campbell, there are very few people who ride bikes who dont annoy me. maybe because i grew up in the suburbs and rode my bikes everywhere, im done with biking. great childhood. no need to relive it. im also through collecting baseball cards.

not only am i glad my bike was stolen, but i find it interesting that of all of the things in my house, my bike would be second on my list of things that id want stolen. my trash would be number one.

not only do i not miss my bike, but now i want a new camaro and an old motorcycle.

interesting detail about the bike and easter basket being stolen. my maid came through the other day and i noticed my easter basket was under my bed. my bad.

Gage: what annoys you, I mean REALLY annoys you? And what makes your day?

annoyances: slow drivers, complicated atm transactions performed by the befuddled in front of me, and super hot babes who should be making out with me who arent making out with me.

day makers: i read a lot. newspapers, magazines, blogs. sometimes all it takes is one great line from any of those sources and it will last with me all day.

odd curiosity: it still fascinates me that the smartest people i know, many of whom read far more than me, dont read the bible. or have never read it in its entirety. they’ll read the classics, the latest tomes, even trash novels, but never the good book. not seriously. i dont understand it. youd think theyd be the ones who would read it just to shut up all the wackos who intentionally misread it and affect the world. but nope, they pretty much allow the nuts to be the experts in a field they rarely venture into: ancient literature.

Vinny: 2 part question – has Jim Carey actually gone crazy? and can I be a link on the side?

the man who talks out of his rear who just broke up with jenny mccarthy is perfectly sane. youre now 102. if you can change your link to that would be swell.

Just Me: Well Done on the chat Tony!

chat is my natural environment. not in person, not on the phone, not via telegraph. chat. foreverz. its the one thing i kick both mark twain and hemingway in the butt.

timmmmmmay: how many HRs will david ortiz finish with this year?????

17. hes old. hes fat. hes got no juice in him. and if you have him in one of my leagues make me an offer and i will take him off yr hands. hes still papi and papis got pop. 27.

Chris: Have you ever posted a blog, thought it sucked, deleted it, then regretted the fact that you deleted it?

i dont like deleting blog posts. neil young said even if he hits a bad note its ok because it was real for that moment. Later he got interviewed by Guitar Player magazine. I think in ’96. he talked about the music as a whole:

JO: What do you look for in a solo?

NY: Elevation. You can feel it. That’s all I’m looking for. You can tell I don’t care about bad notes. I listen for the whole band on my solos. You can call it a solo because that’s a good way to describe it, but really it’s an instrumental. It’s the whole band that’s playing.

you should be thinking about two things when you blog. mostly you should be thinking about the moment at hand, but you should also try to think as the blog as a whole.

with that said ive only removed two posts from the busblog. both at the requests of the young ladies who served as subjects for the outlines. and they were great posts and i am sad they arent there.

Kris: Am I gonna find an awesometastic job soon, oh wise Tony?

probably not. times r tough. everythings crazy right now. the best place for young people right now is in school. get a bachelors. if you got one of those get a masters, phd. load up. when the economy comes back the floodgates will open and you can say i have a doctorate and i want a gazillion dollars and a pool boy. until then its tim hortens or hooters. ask anyone.

Kurtis: How do you get over someone?

the only way is to get sloppy with several others. keyword: get. all this moping around, writing poems, feeling the depths of depression, etc – all thats played out. its the road most traveled. its for losers. its for the madding crowd. its for people who revolve their schedules around nickleback. first thing you should do this weekend is get a date, make some moves, and think about las vegas. yes you’ll feel horrible. but you were gonna feel horrible anyways. at least now when you wake up their will be stale champagne on the nightstand. and if youre lucky, it wont be all that stale.

i can fall asleep at midnight on fridays

but it takes till 4 any other night

all i know is i want a water bed and a hot tub and a view of the ocean.

i realize thats a lot of water, which i ironic because i have no intention of entering the ocean, ever again.

speaking of the ocean, heres a news story that is so LA. dude allegedly steals a Land Rover in Bel Air, gets pursued around Beverly Hills, gets on the freeway and drives to Santa Monica Pier where he jumps over the pier, into the sand, and runs into the ocean.

but contrary to popular belief, the pacific ocean can be damn cold, even if youre chiseled (like we are all here in LA) and suicidal.

best part of that vid, right near the end when you can see the cops’ red target light on the dude’s torso. so Terminator.

saturday night karisa had a few people over

to celebrate her bday

for some reason she didnt think it was a terrible idea to go to Dillons after drinking at the new W in hollywood and nibbling on sushi at the Geisha House.

this is now the third woman ive taken to this place staffed by young ladies in plunging shirts and short plaid skirts

and knee highs

and eyes you could drift away into

karisa, her dude, and her friends were also impressed by the joint that takes no reservations, has 50 beers on tap all for $3 a glass, and enjoys a casual mostly db-free clientele.

by the time we made it to dillons our bellies were already full of fish and sake, but still i ordered some makers mark to get the party seriously started.

sadly it spilled to the ground after a few minutes after a dude who was built like a rock bumped into me.

so huge I apologized to him.

later we all did irish car bombs and after we did i asked our waitress if i could take a photo of she and karisa so the world can see what yr girl looks like at 1:45am after countless drinks

and almost four days before turning 29.