lets pretend that karisa picked me up in Hollywood early friday morning. lets pretend my boss was all, you look like you need some time off and gave me friday off. lets pretend karisas boss was all damn you need a little adventure.

lets pretend we zoomed across the desert in record time and made it to Luxor and lets pretend they were all tony pierce and karisa j? how would you like a pyramid suite with a hot tub in the room?

lets say such a thing was accepted. lets say karisas sister was in town. lets say a young pilot was invited to party with us. lets say food and drink were acquired.

and since we’re just blogging, lets say gambling went down of all sorts. mostly roulette, but a little bit of black jack.

lets also say that whatever casino we were at had high back couch-like gambling with go go dancers mere feet away throwing beads to whoever.

lets say your hero is an old man so he had to call it a night at 1:30am because he had been up till 4:30am thursday night watching tony clifton and macgruber. which was good because now he was a few hundred up and its alway nice to hit the hay when youre up.

stories were told over breakfast about LAX nightclub being lame, being so weird that they wouldnt let karisa sit unless the pilot bought a table with bottle service.

attention dance clubs: dont you like women to wear high heels and uncomfortable clothes? dont you think that theyd like to rest their puppies? and dont you think that not every guy wants to have to lay out hundreds of dollars so someone can grab a rest?

saturday morning meant beach and/or pool. it also meant that a group of pre-college girls in bikinis giggled next to us and some post-college, lets say looser, women laughed drunkenly on the other side of us.

lets say some things that happen in vegas should be tucked away. and lets say that some peoples versions of bikini bottoms are very different than others. lets say we stayed at the pool until cypress hill needed to set up for their evening concert. and how about if this was thrown in: steel panther was also scheduled to play somewhere else in the hotel.

im tired of just saying things. lets just lie now.

ordered a $45 bowl of seafood pasta. drank like a fish. karisa looked ugly. playboy club was boring. the music was awesome at Club Moon. and the retractable roof at the top of the Palms was not interesting at all.

nor were the dancing girls at the rhino.

nor was falling asleep at 6:30am.

i didnt smile or laugh or enjoy myself one bit.