my new famila

I’m someone who doesn’t remember names. I couldn’t be a politician. They say a great politician can remember everyone’s name.

Because I broke out of my game plan and foolishly took a 23 year old Hawaiian babe dating a 40 year old to Agoura, I was in Calabasas at 1:30am when I got a ping that basically said, if you can make it to Ventura by 2:30 we’ll give you $70 to take them to LAX.

Got there at 2:20. Whole family is outside. Very loving very funny. 4 people 2 suitcases 3 back packs. The 18 year old is pregnant. The 17 year old wants to go to Holland for her gap year. I keep telling mom I’d like to be husband #3 bc everyone is so adorable.

And I will probably never forget their names because we spent an hour in the middle of the night talking about Tex Mex, what Kobe and Brenda are going to name the baby, and how idiotic men are.

Did you or your husband name your firstborn Kobe?


Which was your favorite era Kobe, as far as hotness? Young Kobe? Clean Shaven Kobe? Bearded Kobe?

Every Kobe was fine, she said.

Darkly, right as we were passing where his helicopter crashed.

But I didn’t say shit.