but most of my life is weird.

one of my longest-time readers is a sexy momma named tracy, aka trinity, who used to write me after i would post poems in the message boards in aol back in the day.

this was so far back in the day that aol charged $4/hr and my aol bills would average $100 a month. i was using a 14.4 modem and kids, this was well before the www.

thats how old i am.

olde.

tracy somehow hasnt aged at all in spirit. today is her birthday and today she writes that shes happy being 30.

i guess i liked my 30s. i finally had control over my hormones and my tallywacker. i finally understood how to express myself verbally and writenlly.

30s are good times. still have some looks left, still have a little idealism and energy, although i remember that was the first time that i would stretch in the morning and get weird cramps sometimes in my legs.

anyhow i love tracy even though ive never met her and hardly ever write about her.

maybe its cuz she is married with kids and the last thing id want if i was someones husband is some blogger slobbering all over my wifey.

back in the aol days she had a picture of herself up on her profile and she looked a lot like mariah carey, but hotter.

that made me happy cuz i love mariah.

happy birthday tracy!

xtracyx

it was totally lame. hey ang lee, wtf, bro?

drove through beautiful atwater, then glendale and talked about led zep and tsar and making movies and you know what america, i think if a movie is really bad people should warn you.

like an amber alert, except more serious.

clipper girl called me when i got back from the movies. shes not happy with me. what else is new. she is wondering why im saying that i havent kissed or sexed anyone in months when thats pretty much all that we do when we see each other and i tell her that its cuz nothing in here is true.

she then asks me if im ashamed of her, my nba cheerleader not-girlfriend. and i tell her yes, im a little ashamed.

when she gets upset she gets real quiet.

she got real quiet.

so real quietly i told her that i was kidding.

she then started to sob and asked me why i hated her and i told her i didnt hate her that i lurved her and i wanted to lurve her right then, that she should come over and let me show her that i didnt hate her.

she cried a little more and said that my jokes werent always so funny, that i was the only one who laughed at them consistantly, and i said that i was sorry but that is precisely why we shouldnt be girlfriend and boyfriend because half of the time youre going to hear really bad jokes from me and if you are going to want to be around me thats the price you pay.

and the really medicore lovin.

to which she said that sometimes quantity made up for quality.

and then we both laughed.

and she said she was going to come over.

and when she arrived i was asleep on the couch and she whispered in my ear and led me to my waterbed and i think something happened im not sure.

guess i’ll have to check the tape after i get home from work.

david janes + amy langfield + i hope annika goes to the tsar show on saturday