Thanks again for the book… I really enjoyed reading it–parts of it more than once! I know you are crazy busy guy but if you have any thoughts on this can you let me know?

Since you’re mega-blog man… and my blogs are still new-ish… where do you draw the line at sharing personal information? What do you do if you’re getting that skeevy wierd feeling from people?

I have been getting these blocked ID phone calls on my cell leaving really bizarre messages… I thought nothing of it til it occured to me that it’s really easy to get my number online because of my photography-that info is easily found.

I wonder if it’s such a good idea to be so frank and open on blogs-if that invites the weirdos to come out of hiding. My blog doesn’t get that much traffic, and I started it for me to talk about what I wanted. As soon as you get an audience however, I become aware of them, what they think- am I boring them- how will they take what I am saying… Do you just ignore that feeling?

signed,

w (not the president)

dear w,

turning off the internal voice that tells you not to do shit on your blog is the toughest thing that you will encounter while blogging.

on one hand you and i both know that the best part about reading blogs is learning about the people and about experiencing their “edge”.

two of my favorite bloggers handle this totally different.

in canada we have Raymi who not only tells us everything about herself from her shits to her clothes to the way she parties to even her very sensitive sexual situations. and she also gets naked.

here in LA we have flagrant disregard who tells us everything about her eating disorders to her suicidal tendencies to her globetrotting.

on the surface you might think that these young women are doing things totally different since flagrant doesnt show any pictures of herself and she never announces where she will be and doesnt broadcast her voice or her moving images, and raymi does all of those things.

but in truth they are both hiding behind fake names and they keep their whereabouts basically anonymous.

however: raymi’s real name, for example, isnt raymi, but a regular reader can pretty much figure out her real name, whereas flagrants real name is hidden from everyone.

i say learn from both of these women and be out there as far as your emotional information but be smart about your whereabouts like what school you go to or where you work.

i know its slightly different for girls, but when i worked at E! i didnt say so on my blog for several reasons, one being i didnt want someone pissed at something that i wrote to be calling me at the E! switchboard, nor did i want them waiting for me out side of the koo koo roo with a sledgehammer to see if i really do work for the xbi or not. its not that i wouldnt totally love to waste someone on wilshire, its just the paperwork involved after the fact is a nightmare.

plus it doesnt really add to the story.

in fact the fact that i worked at E! may have convinced people that that was one of the reasons that my blog was popular (relatively) or why i was the writer that i was. however neither of those assumptions were true. my blog flourished because of the content and the committment that i had for blogging. period.

yes i tell people where i live, hollywood, but i never gave out my real address, and when i did have to give an address to anyone, i used a PO box that i rarely visit. that too deters stalkers. not that i have any, but who wants them?

i also dont talk about my sexual encounters unless the woman that im with truly wants me to write about them. and even then, oftentimes i let them have first crack at editing. lately ive been with women who arent the exhibitionists that we all wish they were so mum has been the word.

i do talk about my gray nut hairs, about some of the times that i beat off, about my dirty apartment, about my maid who has turned it into a clean apartment, my old drug habit, my laziness, my fears, some of my adventures, my past loves, and some of my plans. its my belief that the deeper you can get with your audience the more they will eat it up and the more your blog will be like a real diary and the more loyal your readership will become because they will feel like youre letting them into a special secret place that only a few (thousand) people have discovered.

its all a trick. its a trick creating intamacy, its a trick to allow yourself to open up, and its a trick to ignore the naysayers who i promise you will criticize anything that you do even if its opening your heart.

good luck baby,

tony

aaron + far from relevant + mitya + black lilly

and man is hindsight a 20-20 bitch.

because i have so many young readers here im not sure you all remember the Good Old Days but a while back Los Angeles had kobe, shaq, and a little thing called chemistry that the chicago bulls proved could make nobodies like bj armstrong and steve kerr magical heroes when it mattered the most.

look no further than the career of former laker robert horry and look at the teams that he played for and you will begin to understand chemistry.

better yet, look at the teams that horry’s teams beat and you might better understand this theory. it doesnt matter how many great players are on your team, without teamwork, unselfish play, good coaching, and chemistry you will lose.

the rise and fall of kobe bryant may not be as dramatic as the tragedies that have befallen young phenoms like mike tyson and ricky williams but his bad choices were just as devistating.

kobe bryant came to the nba straight out of high school to play for a laker team that was so good they didnt need any 18 year old. they had shaq, eddie jones, nick van exel, elden campbell, and robert horry. little did they know but the very next year the teenager would break into the starting lineup and start his reign as one of the best shooting guards in the game.

but ask vince carter how important it is to be one of the best shooting guards in the game, and how more important it is to be one of the best team players.

yes kobe won three rings, but it was because he had the best center in the nba next to him and the best coach in the game giving them all direction.

during the peak of the lakers a few years ago kobe was on top of the world and some may think that it was his rape trial that helped in his fall from grace, but anyone who paid any real attention to that trial knows that it wasnt that case (one in which the accusser wouldnt take the stand after the truth about her lifestyle and about that night began getting investigated on trial), it was kobe’s selfish, yuppie, me-first attitude.

kobe bryant began to embody everything that people hated about the lakers and los angeles and privelege.

people talked shit about shaq and how he made his bad rap records and his bad movies and how he allegedly wasnt ever in shape, but when it came time to play shaq was always right there getting triple teamed and hacked and when you look at his numbers they were always solid.

kobe’s, especially after the trial, were never the same. particularily in crunch time. especially during the detroit pistons series two years ago.

LA will tolerate a lot of things, and big egos are nothing new here, which is why shaq jerseys are still seen on the kids in the playground, but winning is everything, and the lesson of kobe bryant is that you cannot win alone in a team sport.

this year the lakers didnt make the playoffs and shaq’s miami heat took the pistons to seven games in the eastern conference finals. and now that the heat have picked up antoine walker, jason williams, and james posey theyre everyones favorites to win the east.

and kobe’s lakers, even with phil jackson back, are a crap shoot to get into the playoffs.

all because kobe is a shelfish bitch who got what he asked for: the lakers to be his team and only his team.

be careful what you ask for my friends, especially on a stage as big as the staples center, because one man cannot make a team, but one fool can break it.

and thats the story of todays birthday boy who has yet to prove that he’s anything more than just a boy.

his rookie card is only worth $28 + swamp donkey + fook the people + matt welch