march 1, 2004

talk to me. tell me your name. i just watched american idol. i wish i was a neilson family. i watched the first two american idol episodes and none after that and today they had the “untalented” show and it was awesome.

i saw my man william hung today and i was cheering along. if he sang at the end of every show id watch it every week.

people seriously need to hire me to tell them these things.

now im watching forever eden which sorta looks like paradise hotel which i loved. we really should thank the japanese for giving us these bizzare reality shows.

thank you japanese people.

ive noticed that im nicer after watching that jesus movie.

i talked on the phone to the 90 year old lady upstairs.

i did pass a legless man in a wheelchair who had fallen asleep in the rain in his chair out on the sidewalk.

didnt really know how to feel about that.

it was in front of a huge church that people dont think is a church but i dont think they pay taxes, so i’ll call them a church. and they have people walking around that church all the time. churchmembers. but it is a pretty busy sidewalk but surely theyd roll the man inside.

it was odd.

theres hospitals all around that church but still.

hollywood has its darkside my friends.

its not all bikini girls palmtrees and coke parties.

sometimes it rains

and youre legless

and youve fallen asleep.

it was dark out there. it coulda been anything. man. woman. other.

im not proud. and that jesus movie did make me feel bad at least, i guess thats a step in the right direction.

i suppose one day i will stop and help

i think it was a guy.

had a nice black cowboy hat on.

no feet.

little stumps sticking out of the pant legs at the knee.

so dark i nearly bumped into it because i thought it was an abandonded cart of some sort.

but it was a wheelchair with a tall black hook coming out of the top.

as to hold an iv at home?

to hold a hat?

i thought if i was that dude i might just end it all out there on sunset blvd drunk

there was an empty bottle of booze behind him a good twenty paces.

house brand vodka it looked.

same stretch of sunset you see at the end of “adaptation.” when the flowers time lapse

id buy a william hung dvd if he’d autograph it for me.

just a girl + smelly + my sexy wifey moxie

: some people are born leaders and winners, and some people are destined to be followers and losers.

now just because youre a follower doesnt make you a loser, but usually if you dont realize youre a follower you end up a loser.

in the soap opera between Howard Stern and CBS chief Les Moonves, it’s obvious who is the leader and who is the loser.

yesterday CBS chose to give Howard Stern more publicity by suing him for talking about Sirius satelite radio for the last year that he was on terrestrial radio. despite the fact that stern ALWAYS talks about his life, and leaving a hugely successful 20-year run in old fashioned radio and one-upping the FCC by escaping to the safe harbor of pay radio is easy fodder for breast beating and back patting, CBS is now pretending that by Stern talking about his life and career was somehow inappropriate and illegal.

if you listened to Stern over the last year you would have heard the battles that he had with the network about his use of the name Sirius (he later refered to them as “eh eh eh”) you would have seen him get suspended for one day a few weeks before his last day because he allegedly talked about Sirius “too much”, but you would have also seen his ratings go up, his ad dollars go up, and Stern being allowed to go on CBS’s “Late Show with David Letterman” to promote his ascension to satelite.

therefore CBS as a whole benefited greatly during the last year that Stern was on the air, primarily talking about his new home, bitching about the restraints on language that CBS was enforcing on him, and saying “goodbye” to his millions of listeners many of whom would not be paying $150 for a new radio and $13 a month for service.

not only was it compelling radio, it was must-hear radio because even on the last day the power struggle between the real leader and the network was being faught with the GM of the station hitting the dump button repeatedly as Howard and his crew gave their farewell speeches to the madding crowds on the streets of new york who had braved the rain and the cold to wish their gangly radio god goodbye.

now that the king of all media is gone CBS finds themselves in dead last in morning radio in LA and, from first to 13th place in new york. the much loved and talented adam corrolla simply could not make the leap from late night sex talk on kroq to morning man jokester on kslx. and david lee roth proved that the millions that he got to sit in stern’s old studios in new york was money down the drain. nobody talks about anything these two do on the radio, meanwhile people keep talking about stern.

and CBS is now only helping that buzz grow in this ridiculous law suit.

just last week stern was sitting back in his chair saying “isnt this great. we havent bitched about the FCC in a week, we havent bitched about management, we havent bitched about being censored, today we’ve been able to just sit and talk with people in an adult manner like regular people. god i love this.”

well, hes really gotta be loving this new development because yes Howard’s mellow adult Sirius shows last week were interesting, nothing is more intense than when Stern has an enemy locked in and fucking with him. he is the king of all controversy and someone better find out of Les has stock in Sirius because all this can do is make Howard more popular, more of an underdog fighting the Man, and more likely to put another victory notch in his microphone.

hey now.