sometimes a hot chick from the neighborhood

will knock on my door and cup her hands around her eyes and peer through my windows to see if im home, and sometimes i answer and sometimes they take advantage of me and sometimes i even like it.

normally i resist the temptation because i really don’t want anything from them, and as much as a good fling might make for a good fling, i have rarely met a hottie who understands this concept and after a while they start to make themselves comfortable and wear out their welcome.

but today i feel ornery. austin powers would say randy, rene would say naughty, and the king of pop would say dangerous.

friday night and i planned on drawing a hot tub, snipping some rose petals from the bushes and sprinkling them around the floor and light candles like “when doves cry” and turn the music on low and recuperate this old body of mine.

ive abused it. ive worn it out. ive taken advantage and im sorry, brittle bones.

you’ve carried this mixed up soul around for over a century of rock n roll and ive never done the damage to you that ive done this summer and im sorry.

but murphys law says there will be a ding dong at the doorbell and rosalita doesn’t ring twice. she might have a friend in from out of town, she might have a cousin, she might have an ememy. she might come alone. things start off nice, we’ll hug, we’ll chat, she’ll pop open a dr. pepper and pour it in her glass and see if i have any french bread which i wont and she’ll look at me pleased.

french bread means brie, brie means wine, wine means i have had company, and shes a jealous neighbor

and im an unapologetic man.

she’ll try to be sexy, but she doesn’t need to try, she just needs to lean over.

i have a friend who has a bell on his night stand and he tells his girlfriends, of which he has many, fucker, that since we live in uncertain times, he would prefer it if they rang the bell when they wanted what they wanted.

he told me that the other night he had a woman over who knew this procedure and walked into his room and “tripped” and knocked over the bell.

oopsie, she said.

but make no mistake, my life is nothing like his, and his is nothing like yours, and instead of a hot tub, i’ll probably twist open a cold beer, flip on the tv and pass out before ten only to be awaken by a rerun of night court, completely sleeping through the little tap tap at the door.

ashley doesnt like it

when i talk about politics. shes not the only one.

she wrote in and said that if she took a picture of she and her sister in catholic girl skirts would i just shut up and write about her.

i said, bribery and flattery will get you everywhere.

she enclosed the following picture and told me that i am the sexiest man she’s ever known.

::sigh:: if only she loved me for my mind.

ashley is finishing up her summer vacation in las vegas this weekend. the family took a quick trip to sunny palm springs followed by a spur of the moment excursion to the happiest place on earth and then back to vegas for more heat. ashley loves it hot. i do too.

this weekend her daddy’s gonna buy her a car, which is going to be an interesting situation because that means that she will probably be making more trips up to see me than what has been the norm.

in my quest to help her find boys her own age, i have suggested that she really shouldnt be calling and emailing and hanging with me as much as she does but she just calls me stupid and tells me how much she misses me.

recently Hef emailed me and told me that he has the same troubles with his girfriends which is why he’s up to 6 of the blonde bombshells currently.

“gotta take the good with the bad,” he told me, “plod on the best that you can, dude.”

i like it when older guys say “dude.” it sounds so funny.

there is an old budhist line that goes: what you resist, persists.

this is the first time ive ever pushed a girl away who would have nothing of it.

i cant say it’s terrible.

whats also pretty neat is when people borrow from my style. recently ive seen annessa talk to her blog, kool keith interview several of his personalities simultaneously, as well as various others who take pics from reuters and write around them.

imitation pleases me.

pretty much my whole experience of blogging has been quite a happy little journey of suprising discoveries.

people write in and try to narc on others who are “biting” my style, but i think its fine. humans are animals who grow by mimicking. i dont wear my influences on my sleeve, i plaster them right across my chest: bukowski, e.e., sukenick, royko, layne, welch, vaine, jd salinger, spin, maxim, the man show, howard stern.

after a while ones own personality will come through.

maybe next week will be the week that mine will finally make it here.

lets hope it has been worth the wait.