i swear, hot girls can wear anything

which always makes me wonder why they spend so much time and effort on clothes.

i just had to go through michael kors fall 2002 collection for a top secret assignment and it was typical kors: classy, safe, black and brown, with lots of cashmere.

there was this one skirt that i thought was awesome, it sort of looked like a doily-type thing. he had great long coats, lots of fur, cuz apparently he doesn’t give a fuck.

even had this long coat made of coyote which would creep me out a little if i had to wear it, but that’s only because coyote is just way to close to wearing dog fur on your back.

and it wasn’t even all that glamorous. so maybe his collection wasn’t all that safe.

i like michael kors because his mens collection doesn’t come across as too faggy, which is hard, i would imagine, for most designers.

why lenny kravitz doesn’t have a fashion line is beyond me.


so kitty bukkake is back to what first got me to notice her. shes girltalking with her friend about everyones favorite subject “should i get naked on a web cam for $900 a night.”

i ask you, what is better than two hot chicks talking about sex and exhibitionism and what would happen if their mothers ever found out?


another reason i love kb is because she doesn’t worry about her posts being too long.

i had a short story professor who said that a story could never be too short, and a great story could never be too long.

i didn’t agree with him too many times other than that, but i did write a very short story for him one day after he pretty much demolished one of my masterpieces while praising a sorry hack chum.

it was called “die, old man, die”.

i forget how the story went but it was about three sentences long and the word “fuck” was used about thirty seven times.

i didn’t hand it in because i was afraid he’d like it and i didn’t want to give him any pleasure what so ever.

however, he did ultimately win as i didn’t write a short story for a good ten years or so after suffering through his class.

back to girltalking: i could read books and books of that shit. bring em on.

two girls talking about hot stuff is almost as cute as young girls smoking, but better because sometimes we get to really get inside the heads of the female animal, which most of us dudes really want to do.

the wonders of the internet have allowed men from all over the world to chat with girls who might be too uptight or shy or busy to talk with us on the phone in real life, etc.

similiarilly chicks are able to chat with each other as well, and all that good back-and-forth is not lost in the void of at&t but can now be easilly captured placed on the page, gloriously advancing mankind because those little glimmers of femininity are spectacular and something that i never got to really read during my childhood of thumbing through my mom’s huge stacks of cosmos, which, i found out later, were all lies aimed at making women feel horrible about their bodies and ashamed of their men who could never pass any of those relationship quizzes written by overthehill gay men who smoked virgina slims in clean offices of manhattan.

the reason that women dress up isnt to impress men, we all know, it’s to impress other women. but once that goal has been achieved, then what? this has always been my question.

if mandy wears a super smart blazer, short skirt, ridiculously incredible shoes and a hint of the right perfume while having a perfect hair day, and sandy notices, will sandy be mandy’s best friend forever? is that what women really want? uber-respect that leads to a shopping buddy who’ll have brunch with her during football season? i seriously hope not.

so its in these conversations where they talk about where the proper line should be drawn in the web cam sex world of cyber$pace that we can discover, if we’re lucky, truly what is it that gets those girls motivated enough to throw down a couple hundred smackers on some heels instead of on a plane ticket to visit her best friend in maui.

these are the things that i look for.

some of the fellas who write me, well, they just beat off to it.

either way, it sure beats tapping your sister’s phone so you can hear if kelly o’donnell thinks you’re cute.

layne overestimates my play-by-play capabilities: but he does make some great points about chick’s passing.

lately theres been a lot of new readers

to the busblog who probably are wondering what the hell is going on here.

my name is tony. i’m a blogaholic.

in the daytime i fight crimes and save lives across the meanstreets of los angeles.

i live in hollywood near a church full of scientists.

im a single man who enjoys dating, dancing, long walks on the beach, and creamed spinach at koo koo roo.

i haven missed a sunset in about three months.

i dont have a car, i ride the bus to work, thus i called this blog the busblog.

im not terribly attractive but because the smog is so bad in LA none of the hotties seem to notice.

when im not saving damsels in distress or writing lies in my blog, im either watching tv, listening to classical music, or writing on my web site. people seem to like my photo essays.

my favorite color is peach.

if i had a dog it would be an old english sheepdog.

now that aj and i have patched things up, all of my ex girlfriends still love me.

a few months ago i started an experiment where i wanted to see if 100 people would link me from their sites in a month. they did.

now im seeing if i can raise $1,000 in a month. that one might be tougher.

my favorite rock group is called Tsar.

all my friends are so awesome.

my favorite new olympic event is the running knuckle jump (pictured).

im a libra on the scorpio cusp, but i dont really believe in astrology.

people borrow from my style of interviewing myself in their blogs and thats okay. it’s sorta nice even. but i wish they’d steal more from my photo essays. everyone likes pictures.

i loved ken layne’s novel “dot con” and not just cuz hes my friend. i also loved lynda barry’s “cruddy” and now i want to read that one again.

im a practicing Christian, and boy do i need a lot of practice.

other than this post and a few others, most of what you read here isnt true.

the person i talk to on the phone with the most is ashley.

and according to moxie im way funnier in real life.

i have a million email addresses, but the best one to reach me on is thru my hotmail.

the big story around the xbi is anna nicole’s new tv show

anna nicole

which broke all sorts of records on sunday including getting the highest ratings ever for the launch of a reality series on cable television and the second highest rating for the launch of any type of series in cable television history.

so what was the highest rated launch of a series on cable? none of us knew. maybe you do.

at lunch we were discussing why is it that cable shows have such a hard time getting bigtime ratings. if 85% of american homes have cable, why is it that most of them are still tuned to one of the original three networks?

what we concluded is that when people flock, they flock to the big three who normally have bigger-name stars, better writers, and shows that generally last longer. in an impromptu poll, we all agreed around the water cooler that even though most of us have 100+ channels to choose from, we will first see what’s on the major networks and then flip around to mtv, espn, comedy central, E!, hbo and the like.

the only time, we agreed, that people flock to cable stations are specials like the mtv video awards, sporting events, when joan rivers and melissa are talking to the stars before the award shows, and when the sopranos have a new show.

the fellas said that i should start doing a recap of the soprano’s old seasons to get everyone jacked for the new season that will start next month.

i said no one needs to get jacked for that, everyone’s jacked already.

then someone said, “why do you have that icepack on your wrist?”

i told them.

they said, “you still have the carpal, i thought that was over.”

and i said, i thought it was over, but working aggravates it and working plus blogging pretty much kills it.

and they said, “then cut down on your work.”

then we all laughed.

i laugh a lot.

this morning howard stern played a tune from the new dolly parton album (which i have proudly linked on the left hand side since the day it came out). he played her version of “stairway to heaven” which she does beautifully.

ross over at bloviate is conducting a little study to see what you think is the best rock cover song ever.

i said hendrix’s cover of dylan’s all along the watchtower, which immediately made me think of nomeansno’s version of hendrix’s manic depression.

off the top of my head i can think of a ton more.

and since dawn and aaron both flowed me a buck – even though dawn shouldn’t have since she’s met me and since shes donated recently, but whatever – oh wait what’s this their generosity summoned the 4 minute stream of consciousness flood of great cover songs as channeled through tony’s palsiated arthritic hands:

killdozer – take the money and run, janes addiction – ripple, exodus – free for all, springsteen – jersey girl, rod stewart – downtown train, metalica – turn the page, eric clapton – cocaine, replacements – i’ll be there, red hot chili peppers – i want you back, elvis costello – sweet dreams, tori amos – i dont like mondays, sinead o’conner – mother, van halen – you really got me, david lee roth – just a gigolo, tsar – strutter, chopper one – jeremey, matt welch – purple rain, jason pontious – purple rain, ken layne – dead flowers, dan kern – every rose has a thorn, the blues brothers – soul man

damn, time’s up.

songs i’d like tsar to cover:

the mix of “smells like teen spirit w/ bootylicious”

nelly’s “hot in herre”

ac/dc’s “bad boy boogie”

yes’s “roundabout”

mr. ed castro did the right thing

and sent in $20 for the cause. the goal is a cool g before the end of august which pretty much adds up to a buck from each of you. slight catch is i can not have ever met you.

for example, ashley’s friend anita from canada sent in a buck today. perfect. thank you anita. thank you, ed. that brings the august total to $110.

nice job everybody.

ooooh whats this? because we broke $100 we get to open an envelope.

which one should it be?

the pink one, the red one? blue?





think hard.

ok the gray one it is.

let’s see here. shes young, shes white.

she likes boys and girls.

she’s written about how to be a drunk asshole for rocketpack

she’s posted some romantic exchanges of lust between she and a pal

but my favorite page of hers are product reviews from items found on in the back of comics.

her name is raymi.

she wrote me an email.