anna suddenly doesnt like canada

she lost yesterday to Virginia Ruano Pascual 7-5, 6-1.

she called me and then hung up without leaving a message.

i was playing softball.

we won 15-6.

when she finally reached me she didnt want to talk about tennis.

i almost pulled my quad running around second, i told her.

are you in love with karisa? she asked.

i was stupid, i said, ignoring her, which is what you should do when girls are being girls. i didnt jog i didnt run, you should always run around the field first then stretch then sprint then jog again.

’cause you sure did kiss her ass. she pouted.

i mean, i know i dont look 108, but tonight i feel about 75. my left leg. my arm’s fine though. and i almost thought i broke my foot when i crossed home.

do you even love me any more, tony?

no, im no longer in love with you. i told her.

when im on the phone i pace. people used to make fun of me until i saw the thelonious monk documentary “straight, no chaser.” a fellow libra, monk would pace and walk in tight little circles and talk to himself. he talked to himself when he played too. even if you have a crappy stereo if you get the verve recording of “alone in san francisco” you can hear him approving of certain runs or well struck notes.

i play monk any time i can at the department store.

and when i do i talk to myself quietly.

you dont?!

how old are you, anna?

twenty one.

ok, i change my mind then,

i still love you.

brezney was right, the real thing has arrived. kate sullivan is now writing for the new times la, and today unveils her new column.

Libra Horoscope for week of August 15, 2002

The Real Thing has arrived. Maybe not the Ultimate, Climactic, Last-You-All-Your-Life Real Thing, but who knows?

Even if it is just a temporary Real Thing, it’s still got a lot of rich transformations to give you.

I’d like to inquire, therefore, why you have not yet let it fully into your life?

Is it because it has a superficial resemblance to a counterfeit “Real Thing” from your past? Or, in a world teeming with false promises and spin doctors and crafty sales pitches, are you finding it hard to recognize a truly genuine article?

Pinch yourself, Libra.

– Rob Brezney from Free Will Astrology

i dont know what any of that means, but maybe it will cheer up meesh, who appears to be down in the dumps about some damn thing or another. all i know is that its keeping her from blogging, a terrible affliction that has stymied the elctronic growth of some of my favorite bloggers this summer: a. beam, rabbit, dolce, reesha, layne and welch, to name a few.

fortunately we have Blogcritics, though, which just might have too much information! not that thats possible.

one blogger who continues to plug away is Richard Bennett, who today comments on a senate bill that just passed that will help, if ever so slightly, men who have been unjustly accused of fathering children from women that they dont even know. as i found out the hard way, even if the DNA test proves that billie jean is not your lovah, you could still find yourself having to pay for a little kid who doesnt even look like you.

i’d kiss the feet of my lawyer who got me off the hook, but i think her boyfriend would get jealous. perhaps she would like me to do some light dusting around her hot tub?

and finally today, sorry but i have to star in our first xbi softball scrimmage this evening, a lovely lady who recently flowed the busblog paypaled my ass and asked if it was enough for a sexy little tale about “a good girl with high morals on an excursion abroad and runs into someone willing to corrupt her.”

dear, any amount of generosity towards the busblog slush fund is enough for such a tale, and i promise you that before friday you will have just what you seek either on this blog or on the main site. so stay tuned, and people, send in your requests with your bucks and your dreams just might come true too.

chris c. writes in to applaud me

for not wanting to get it on with my good friend karisa. chris needs to hold his applause.

i am a man and she is definitely a woman. and quite attractive. attractive in a way that most cameras fail to capture. karisa’s also attractive in ways that photography could never document. shes smart, funny, talkative, free, open, wild, handy, booksmart, streetsmart, musicsmart, adventurous, magical, and has great taste in automobiles.

with that said, not every excellent girl is the right girl for every boy.

karisa loves to be out and about. she runs up giant hills, dances at hollywood clubs, drinks at dive bars, drives to vegas, and hang glides when it’s not too windy.

me, i like to sit at home with my shirt off and click through the innernet or watch television.

i like rum, she likes champagne.

she and i might be super excellent friends, but it wasn’t a match made in xxx heaven.

when i was younger and more idealistic i used to think that all it took was desire and any girl could slightly change to fit my needs, or that i could change if only she would give me the chance.

but as ive grown ive seen that that’s not what people should do.

the Good Lord has given us millions and millions of possibilities just in this city of angels. why try to change someone who is perfectly excellent already? and why would you change if you’re pretty good yourself? why not accept the priceless gift of friendship and camaraderie and be grateful to have someone around who likes to go places with you and doesn’t mind hanging out on your couch a lot either?

the babes who want to sit at home and bang you when they’re not on the computer or trying on new lingerie will come knocking soon enough. trust me they will. they’re out there, of course they are, do the math.

i have met girls who i don’t think would make great girlfriends for me but we had an uncontrollable animal magnetism where we had to rip each others clothes off immediately and get down to business.

i have met girls who i liked to talk with on the phone, and then in real life there was no lust connection, but who would make great friends.

then ive met girls who i neither wanted to bang or bond with who could make the cover of any magazine around.

and ive also met girls who’s hearts were so irresistible that i didn’t care that they weren’t into me, or that i wasn’t into them, i knew it was right and i was pulled in like the tractor beam in Galga.

and a scarce few times i have met a young woman who was just as much into me, in every way, as i was into her. and our likes and dislikes matched, and our astrology matched, and our wants and needs matched, and gabriel blew his horn, and rip taylor threw his confetti, and the skies parted and the naked cherubs floated down strumming their harps while the spirits tossed rose petals.

in my 108 years, those spectacular matchups have happened 4 or 5 times. im way ahead in the game.

which might be a hint from the Creator that theres a reason for strong friendships with excellent people.

and its not just to have someone to whine to during the dry seasons.

me and karisa don’t do much whining.

gets in the way of all the laughing.

thanks: to laura and carlisa who each flowed the busblog $5. gracias, senioritas!

me and karisa went to the troubador last night

karisa hopefully by now you know i have the greatest friends.

karisa just got back from a tour of new england and key west where she got her self a deep dark tropic tan. like she needed it.

we got to the show early. hardly anyone was there. we discussed the new sam adams label, we agreed that we don’t like it one bit. why would you take the happy smiling proud sam off the label? karisa says its because people in cali don’t want to see an old guy from beantown on the beer bottle.

i say i want to see him.

she says no one is like me.

i say no one is like her.

very few girls wouldn’t bitch and just hide out in the back of the club analyzing the bartendresses many tattoos and smile and laugh and catch up as Jude hit his high notes and Pirner did what no musician should ever do live in concert: play every song from their new record while ignoring their glorious catalog of previous hits.


asswipe cut his hair, lost his band, picked up the first three nice people that he could find, whipped out his trumpet, and proceeded to punish those of us who showed up at his show.

so me and karisa drank so many sams that they had to break into the ones way in the back of the walk in fridge, the ones with the classic olde labels, so we drank all of those too.

karisa has a funny way of making me want to do shots. when i say “let’s do a shot.” i usually mean, “let’s have a shot of rum.” karisa takes it as, “let’s do a half dozen kamikazes.”

so kamikazes it was.

she wore my favorite beastie boy tshirt, a long skirt, big boots and even though she said that she cut two inches off her hair it went way down her back. she looked better than ever.

me, i wore my favorite cubs shirt, olive cords and black vans.

im very lucky to have good friends who stick by me through thick and thin.

and its great when they can keep up with me at the bar.