and one day i was swimming and i didnt have to worry about holding my breath so i was swimming underwater without a care in the world

and i said hello to a fish

and it said hello back.

and i said are you an alive fish or a dead one.

and he said a dead one.

and i said when you were swimming around when you were alive, were you ever scared by the sharks?

and the fish said, what sharks?

there was a billy goat down there swimming next to us and laughed at the fish for being

ni-i-i-i-i-i-eve

but that billy goat didnt know what he was talking about, and thankfully he swam away.

then the fish told me he wasnt going to spend his life always darting into the coral like minnows

scared at any shadow

freaked by any sudden move

then he said i wasnt born to be sold in some punk ass tank with the word bait written on it.

that fish was getting deep.

then he said

what youve got to watch out for

and then the billy goat ate em.

to the girl who sent me the nice picture of herself because she had read that i was sad

please move here.

anti + the finest photo essay ever done by a sorority girl + a touching kitty bukakke + fussy

competition last night along with maternity ward and one day i’ll figure everything out and when i do i will tell you all about it.

i had wine coolers left over her house from an 80s party she threw. we passed the whipped cream back and forth and with the fruity malt liquor it tasted like a delicous desert.

the ladies were pushing and pushing. lots of them didnt take the epidermal. karisa shook her head in disbelief.

one of the babies came out super tiny.

lots of the babies had green grey gunk all over them.

some were really big.

i dipped my hand in the bag of taco bell and pulled out some chicken quesadilla and karisa switched over to vh1 where they were talking about celebrities who had their stomach stapled.

jeanine used to do this to me. all this gross stuff. they seriously like it though. fascinated like.

then came on tlc a thing on transsexuals.

she curled up ready for the hour to start.

her cat dug around in the box of kitty litter, looking for something, maybe its wedding ring. he scratched at it pretty good. drop a diamond in there, kitty, i asked it.

it looked up and stared at me pissed off and frozen.

i took a picture of it.

it lasts longer.

tomorrow night i will have dinner with a generous businesswoman who wants to make busblog tshirts.

i told her that we should have a tshirt design contest and she said definately.

send your designs to busblogshirt@tonypierce.com