i swear this wont turn into a sports blog

i have no problem with jon gruden.

during the season i had to hold him in the way of an enemy.

but they won that super bowl fair and square. and the raiders gave a lot of it away.

good for jon gruden.

cubs scored 15 runs today. not since 1899 have they scored that many on opening day. we’re going all the way.

leadoff hitter corey patterson knocked in seven runs. two homers.

if fucking corey patterson is ready to rock, this shits over.

and kerry wood was snapping that curveball, in the cold of new york.

and they had to walk sammy three times cuz theyre pussy ass bitches whose mothers are ashamed of.

it snowed in the middle of opening day in baltimore today.

then the sun came out, then they played some more, then it went into extra innings.

when the cubs go all the way this year, you can say it was the year it fucking snowed in baltimore on opening day.

quite a few people wished me happy opening day today, i liked that.

i wore a black espn tshirt today and my cubs hat, then they asked me how the (red) sox were doing.

this year again i find myself surrounded by red sox fans.

sox lost a hot breakah today. pedro pitched his ass off through six. might have even been up by six.

then they let the bullpen finish it up and those fuckers gave up the lead and then lost it.

besides pedros sharp opener, red sox fans were probably also happy about the fact that derek jeter dislocated his shoulder in a freak accident at third when he slid in head first hustling to third from first on a ground ball out in the infield.

and he was safe.

first day of the season and people are speculating how steinbrenner will replace his all star.

will he use the major leagues current farm system, the montreal expos, and pluck the youthful orlando cabrera, or let barry larkin get a chance to get a ring.

soriano hit a grand slam.

they might not need a shortstop.

matt welch + bambino’s curse + midnight magica’s rhps photo essay

today is opening day

the day where every team still has a chance, even the cubs.

if you asked me how the cubs chances are, i would tell you that they have kerry wood who might have 300 strikeouts this year. i would say they have matt clement who might toss 250 strikeouts this year. i would say they have mark prior who will record 20 wins this season. i would say their bullpen is deep. i would say sammy sosa is gonna hit 62 homers and mark belhorn will hit 45 and play second base.

the only thing missing at wrigley field this year is harry carey.

and me.

and, of course, you.

does nancy faust still play the organ at wrigley?

how sick are you when you know the name of the organist at the ball game?

once i was at old chicago stadium watching larry bird destroy the bulls, this was well before jordan, and i went with my buddies because the San Diego Chicken was performing during the game, and afterwards i got his autograph, and i saw a woman with sheet music going down the stairwell and i said, “nancy faust?” and she stopped dead in her tracks.

and i got her autograph too.

im glad the way this season is starting.

yesterday, technically, baseball opened up with the defending champion anaheim angels hosting a game against the texas rangers. they werent scheduled to be the first game of the season but inclement weather back east made for some cancellations that pretty much showed us how baseball should begin.

the defending champs should have the opportunity to kick off the season. why not?

when i was a lad, i would beg my mother to let me have this day off. and if i was president of the united states, i would make Opening Day an official national holiday. its a big deal.

my mom would usually get in a huge fight with me and there would be tears, damaged bedroom furniture, and some sort of “deal” that we would both reluctantly agree to, but come opening day i rarely found myself in the unfriendly confines of school.

today im lucky enough to fly a black helicopter equipped with many monitors, one of which gets ESPN.

thank you, glorious Lord.

and go Cubs, you bastards.

chris’s brother-in-law (with picture of her sister and cute nephews)

an email from Jeanine

hey there the Bay Bay! read yer blog today – one day I’ll flow you big. Sadly I’ve not been coming from enough abundance lately.

Love the monkey! As always!

But HEY!- you make it seem like me n’ Chris have been all catty or something, like, we’re only NOW becoming friendly or something – WHATCHOO Soam Kahndo DOH-MEH!?!?!?

Me n’ that fine, very hot girl do QUITE alright together …without you OR your commentary, thank you very much! And have been for a while! Or have you forgetten those very RAD pix from the Art Show of one G. Vaine late last summer!?!? I don’t THINK those were staged!!

mmm-hmmm! (snap, snap)

I love you, and am also attempting to scan and send you this great picture I have from Burma (ca. 1995) when the Illegally Ousted and Unjustly Arrested True Leader and Hero of the People, one AUNG SAN SOO KYI (daughter of Burma’s hero in the Fight for Freedom Against Great Britain)- spoke at a popular rally, where all righteous and loving Burmese citizens came to show their support despite the fear of death and torture at the hands of Ne Win’s EVIL MILITARY JUNTA!!!!!…..wait – where the hell is my soapbox….Ah! (scrape, scrape)


Oh- right- Shell and Chevron and United Bank of California, (etc, etc, etc) were too busy being major investors in Burma to actually realize there was A WHOLE NATION of INNOCENTS being KILLED and TORTURED under their noses!!! No – no need for a WAR FOR PEACE over there! yeah- just checking! mmm-hmm!

Sorry- I ate all the brownies, and brought the rest to Kim’s house on Sunday…I could always make more though…it was funny- everyone would

go to eat a brownie, and then stop and ask me if there was “anything else” in the “brownies”! (why do our friends only do that to me???)

love you, talk to you soon!