i got to go to zancou

and hang out with my true love tonight.


she looks better every day.

told me today that officially she has a boyfriend.

she was driving me home from the office.

we were holding hands in her convertible, she had just given me ken laynes the analog bootlegs to which i told her that i loved her.

palm trees zipped by above us as we drove north on wilton past slow drivers and barking dogs, and twisted through the nice houses and slowly over the huge dip at the intersection.

of course i want her to be happy.

im near her and all the days sins are washed away.

i said does this mean i cant touch those lovely bazooms, which were happy you can tell, letting me know that they missed me, saying hi tony we’ll never forget you.


she said yeah it means you cant.

she smiled.

we always smile.

i started to tear up a little while i smiled.

felt lame.

she said oh baby and squeezed my hand.

our hands were on her lap and she drove and i pointed and said so does this mean i cant touch the niceness.

and i looked at the nice place with my fake xray vision and she laughed a hearty laugh cuz i smiled and i was sorta sad but happy but really tired from my job that gives me heartburn and bald patches

and she said yeah no touching there

she said its been two and a half years as if to say give up already but a salesman never listens to the first no

or the million and first

and i leaned close

and she leaned close and i said softly

what about the dirtiest of all areas

there was a time when she would have gasped but that time is long gone she smiled looking at me and back at the traffic and held my hand tighter as we passed a store that hung all its saturday night mexican lady dance club outfits on plastic hangars against the chain fence of the abandoned lot next door

and i didnt hear her say no

did you

katie hall + hoo-ha + bunnie

today i feel like marilyn manson.

im groggy, im sickly, im tired, a wee bit hung over. dan and sara can drink. she does doubles of whiskey and dotes on her big lug and that makes me smile.

i think i had about four five baileys and before that a tall thai beer. being with my friends you never know if the buzz that youre feeling is the booze or the msg or the love or the energy that is created. this morning i realized that i went mormon yesterday and didnt have any caffienne at all.

some of the fellas started talking about blog babes and kristin from madpony came up and they asked me if i knew her and i said that we exchange emails from time to time but because she has a boyfriend i try not to distract her with my manliness. and they said that they approved of that behavoir. then went on about how hot she is and how much they liked her writing. she wont believe that we were talking about her in a smokey old bar in chinatown but we were and we were saying very nice things and not being gross and thats another reason i like my friends. all class. except of course, me.

then sara asked me about raymi and i told her that i had indeed met her and her bodygaurd anti and i had nothing but love for both of them. and she asked me if she was pretty in real life and i said very, which is true. and i told them that if they missed raymis posts they should read antis.

this morning i woke up early and skateboarded to the mcdonalds and got a bacon egg and cheese biscuit.

then i ollied over a small dog that was prepared to poop and nearly wiped out but saved myself.

i stole a la times from a newpaper dispensor and gave it to the grateful woman who had forgotten her plastic doodie bag and i tipped my cubs hat to her.

got on the bus and it was crowded. thought a bunch of negative thoughts that i wont bore you with.

read some more stories out of The Most Beautiful Woman in Town.

hated the weirdo who stood in the rear exit of the bus next to his suitcase pretty much blocking that area, so much so that this woman didnt want to deal with it and walked all the way up to the front of the bus and got out.

the weirdo had a neck brace on and i wanted to karate chop him in the neck, but im not into black on black crimes.

last night we saw a high speed cop chase.

there were five copters in the sky and i was jealous.

they had triangulated the perp pretty well. only one guy following closely with the others spread out in a parallelogram pattern.

caught the dude in glendale.

got to work only a few minutes late.

still havent had any caffiene.

did i tell you i get to see my truest tonight.


azarock + bettie girl + hosemonster

yesterday it was gene simmons’ birthday, so i allowed three young girls to come over to my house.

the oldest was 21, the youngest was, well, it was gene simmons’ birthday so i just served them tea and tried to talk about religon.

earlier in the evening my two favorite texans dan and sara came over since they were in town for the sunset junction street fair and auto show. we supped on fancy thai food in silver lake and then had boba drinks in chinatown. also in the party were my host, oswald t. huckenbacker, my attorney kim, teen hearthrob brendon w. maize, and the u.s marathon gold medalist kitty bukakke.

a good time was had by all until we wandered over to hop lueys and started playing quarters with shots of makers mark.

i do have the most wonderful friends and it is so nice to see them.

64. dirty fez

i wish i could remember the name of the thai place because it was good and it was very chic in there. quite LA. if you know where the pho place is on sunset near parkman, its the place that is called like ramamamamama.

i had to try the tom kai gai cuz im obsessed but i think os ordered the best dish, a lamb curry that was spicy and rich and deeeelish.

also of note was when the lollicup boba guy tracked us down at the bar to tell us that we should probably move our cars because we had parked in the Tour Bus Only spots and even though it was well past tour bus hours the creepy chinatown parking nazis would write us expensive tickets despite what it would do to their karma.

we talked at length about our pal bonnie’s cross country excursion that is being frequently updated on our friend marc brown’s super hot Buzznet photo service that all the cool kids are using for free. it’s like friendster but so much better, and with pictures, and well, different.

we discussed california politics, the state of blogging in america, and the fact that i dont get out much.

when i arrived home, the young ladies were getting stuck in the mud next to my rose bushes trying to peer into my bedroom window! one more step to the left and the quicksand would have inhaled them and they would have entered an alternate universe of white slavery, but fortunately for them that they heard me say good bye as i was dropped off.

because i have an early bedtime i showed them around the grounds, signed autographs and handed them each a bukowski book, several magazines for their ride home and a hit of acid for when they graduated college.

trick or treat i said and passed out before they were past my steel gates.

and today i get to see my true love and we will finally do some laundry which is good because all i have clean to wear is my leather batsuit.

hottest sorority girl ive never met + shyest sorority girl ive never met + dirtiest fez ive never met