starring tony as professor booty.

two girls called me last night wondering why i hadnt called them all summer. asking if i had a girl. asking if i wanted a girl. asking if i was settled down. wondering where their boy was. wondering what happened to the busblog, wanting to know what was up with the kobain book.

i said baby and one said dont call me baby. i said baby who wears the pink floyd pajama bottoms in this family. and she pouted like she always does. even over the phone you can hear a girl pout. sometimes its cute sometimes its boring.

when youre a hundred thousand years old there are only so many times that you can play the same game. so i told her i was sorry but i was busy and you shouldnt ask a playa about his game. she said since when were you a playa. i was all lets just pretend that i didnt hear that. and she said i want that. i said i want that too. she said then i’ll be right over. i said uh. she said is some other ho over there. i said lets play twenty questions and she said no.

other chick played it soft and sweet. she knew that you get more sugar with sugar than you do with interrogation. she asked how was your vacation. she asked is it true about your weight gain. i said its a weight loss. she said she knew that but it didnt rhyme. she said you know you can call me any time. i said baby what cha wearing she said i love it when you call me baby. she said im wearing a baby tee with busblog across the front that you gave me. she said im wearing juicy sweats that say tony across the back. she said im wearing no make up but a smile. she said i wanna ride your blue highway for a hundred miles.

and someone came over last night and someone else came over last night and one got in and the other didnt and i cant say that i lived up to my reputation but one young lady got to watch tv with me and one girl got ignored and one boy got to enjoy a burrito from midnight tacos with a cheerleader with the right attitude and one girl tried to do a burnout but knocked over my mailbox. and one girl laughed peeking through the blinds and one boy saw that scene and said whaddya want on your sunday and she said have any nuts.

im old my friends. so old its crazy. im so old that once upon a time nights like those would have meant so many things. but right now it doesnt mean anything other than i gotta go get a new mailbox and remind myself to have some ground up peanuts next time. and now i know why people get married and have kids cuz after 111 years of rocknroll ive already seen this episode of seinfeld and to be honest it was exactly like that. i always wondered when i watched that show, how does jerry pull one hot chick after another and how come each and every one is just as crazy as the next. and the answer to question number one is “by going outside”, and the answer to question number two is “cuz everyones crazy, especially jerry.”

and in nyc and hollywood the hot babes literally fall from the sky, last night because one found an industrial roll of velcro and while i was making the sundaes wrapped her tight tanned little body in the soft side and got on my bed and taped the other side to the ceiling and was hanging there when i returned like a spider and i took pictures but theyre not sexy and i was all im gonna leave you there and she said come ere and i was all how on earth and she said come here and how cant you kiss a girl hanging from your ceiling and she fell on me and cracked her ankle on a bedpost and laughed the entire time in the emergency room and everyone thought she was high. and probably thought i was high too cuz i was laughing too.

and the doctor and the nurse laughed when i showed them the picture and i was all is this sexy and noone thought it was except for the cheerleader to be named later. and i’d never been so happy to be surrounded by hospitals but im telling you ive had enough of this sort of “excitement”, all i wanted to do was sit down to my tivo and see what the pti boys had to say about sports, and all i wanted to do was sit down to keith oberman and al franken and if a girl came over all i wanted was to hold her hand and maybe watch her spin on my coffee table for maybe 2.5 minutes and if she stayed the night i just wanted to hold her after i wrote my one paragraph peice for the local page.

im a simple man with a bizzaro life. im a blogger without the perfect wife. im a bachelor without a fast car. im a genx slacker who will (hopefully) never go far. all i want is a maid who will do my dishes and a cheerleader stewardess who will call me now and then from paris saying baby i miss you you write so beautifully. and listen to how i tell her what happened in my driveway and laugh and in my bedroom and laugh and at work and laugh and tell me that shes coming home at midnight and she hopes that im upright.

time for livin + leckblog + riley dog + dirty fez

and last night and all week.

just so that i dont forget. a year ago today all of you bought me my iPod and not only have i used it every damn day but i think of the readers of the busblog (as a whole, not just the ones who flowed) every time i see the inscription on the back. i am so grateful for this weird thing that we have and im stoked to have that ipod. it was probably the best gift ive ever demanded 🙂

weed update: ive been clean a sober for over a month now and its fine. i feel just as good today as i did the day i quit. i feel “normal” i feel clean and healthy. the only thing that i dont like are the dreams. i hate dreams and i know everyone said i just wasnt remembering my dreams, no, i didnt get them. its like three-ways with playmates: you know when youre having it, and i wasnt having them.

every night i wake up pissed off that i had a fucked up trippy or bizarre dream. im pissed because my life is fucked up and trippy enough i dont need to have weird scenarios play out in my head of hot tubs and old people and mansions and great food and weird peoples daughters if theyre really not happening.

i dont want to analyze my dreams because i dont even analyze my awake moments. got it? k. i hate that part of sobriety.

good news is my food bills have gone down and ive lost about 5 pounds. my jeans are falling off and my belly is shrinking. thats nice.

im also keeping my drapes open more so my plants are doing better.

enough about the updates.

coming very soon to Tonys Podcasts: real RSS synidications, part 2 of my interview with Raymi where we talk about drugs and sex, and a possible interview with Mrs. Matthew Good – Jenny Good who is a very cool chick and i think everyone will be happy to hear from her.

the busblog is rolling along, if not slowly and i wish i could promise you all that i would be able to be more productive but i wont make you promises i cant keep. so i appreciate your patience as i slouch towards bethlehem.

tv:

real world did the right thing last night and didnt bring the cams to bro’s mom’s funeral. i think theyve handled all of this very well. although i did wince when they aired his last phone convo with his mom. that was sorta rough and maybe over-the-top, but i guess he’s approved all of this. but last nights show was super somber.

however i love the fact that the black dude is not only super cool but he has been doing some very subltely excellent things. jason, your boys put a brotha in there who isnt crazy and im thankful.

big brother: i was hoping that howie would throw Maggie up there but i think ivette might get a suprise vote against her. i think it would be smart of howie et al to do the sneaky thing and make James promise promise promise to be on their side forever if they dont vote off his gf. i know you cant trust him, but can you trust The Friendship? i dont think so. and if you vote off james and his girl then youre even again, and i dont like those odds.

the cubs: did they win or lose yesterday? i cant remember. i think they lost. fucking cubs. nomar hit a homer so thats nice. but shit man. i dont have many next years left in me to wait for. i like the corey is back and lawton is in the lineup. i dont like that we traded away Remlinger. but what can you do. i guess with Wood in the bullpen we dont need a left handed set up? sheesh.

ok rockers, im out. my old company E! had kanye west perform at their annual summer bash. figures as soon as i bail out they get someone great to perform – smashmouth played my first year. i guess last year they had LL who was great, but kayne is the man.

im remembering this because of emmanuelles post where she reports on a challenge that i was given.

we were talking about morrissey’s new cd and how he sings about how america acts superior because we gave the world hamburger.

i said, we dont feel superior because we gave the world hamburger, but because we gave the world mcdonalds.

some one said, are you serious?

i said, yes, other than french girls and swedish girls, (i forgot to say asian girls but i was drinking, and think even less during those moments) america has given the world everything that everyone loves

and thats why they so desperately want to be like us.

ugly americanism at its best.

and only mostly true.

around 2am we were debating free trade.

we’ve come a long way since dropping acid and gazing at the palm of our hands.

i was all, i have no problem giving Nike a bribe, i mean a tax cut, i mean an incentive for setting up a factory in hollywood so that americans can produce $150 american-made shoes that can be sold alongside the $100 indonesian-made sneakers.

let the lebron james shoes or the new air jordans get made in america. the 75% price increase will more than absorb the cost increase of american workers and the union they will probably join.

and i bet all the cool kids would be more than happy to have the latest kicks made in hollywood… where dreams are born.

tim blair and welch of course poo pooed the idea, unfamiliar with logic and progressive ideas, rigid in their hardlined freeeeee-traaaaaade mantra. ambivalent to the fact that when americans had jobs under clinton the economy boomed, there was prosperity, and there was no need to inject the collective psyche with fear.

their philosophy, i imagine, is that as developing countries come out of their tin shacks to nike factories to earn their $5 a day, those countries will begin to prosper and they can then import american goods and services.

like mcdonalds, ford trucks, and nike shoes.

sorry, but i dont have 100 years to wait for such malarky. and why are some people so hesitant to infusing THIS country with the aid that they’re so willing to ship off around the world?

have you ever spent much time in downtown LA?

it’s my belief that a strong american workforce will inspire a stronger american entrepenuer culture. one that will take what successes it learned here and go to foreign lands and start up newspapers, soul food chains, and Foxy Boxing circuits.

a shoe factory in hollywood or compton in 2004 producing quality trends will not only foster a work ethic that exists in every zip code in this country, but it will create generations of americans who can have pride in what they do, while improving their currently dilapidated community from within.

no offense but fuck indonesia while ive got concerns in my own backyard.

of course my ideals were shot down by the learned gentlemen of letters, so i brought it home.

fine then, screw shoes, i said. screw factories.

america is the worlds breadbasket.

i pointed to blair’s pack of smokes.

i said, from what i can assume, a pack of cigarrettes contain about 1/8 of an ounce of tobbacco. from what ive read, 1/8 an ounce of marijuana goes for about $60.

the cost of cigarrettes to the manufacturer, including advertising and shipping, etc. is probably about $1 a pack.

i said, you could put a $14 a pack tax on marijuana cigarrettes, if you had the free trade courage to legalize it, and with the tax and production revenues, pay for all the education and free health care that the dems cry about, but you could also pay off our debt and probably have a little left over for all the bombs youre dying to drop on the taliban.

america would have an export that could be made in the usa. the quality would be unmatched. their boys, big tobacco, would have the new product they are dying to release, and the enviornmentalists would be thrilled because hemp would replace trees for producing paper.

and the Christian right would be appeased because god’s happy plant, so perfect you plant a seed in dirt, water it, and it creates a weed that when ingested makes you smile, would be freed to do what He intended it to do.

but the only reason you wont do it, i posed, while lifting my half drunken bottle of rum at them

is because youre racists, and you know that by keeping weed illegal, you keep minorities under your thumb, and in prison

where you think they belong.

and thats why people take me into dark alleys and beat my ass when i say shit like that in the xbi.

welch and blair, gentlemen that they are, just laughed and called it a night.

sk smith + small island girl + all alex + two years ago today

we must find a better word for that). although i give glenn a hard time every now and then he does deserve his props.

for rightwing propaganda hes pretty much at the top of his field. and Lord knows toeing the party line has gotta be tough under this administration without even once saying “goddam those motherfuckers are so full of shit today even I can’t stand it!”

but somehow he soldiers on and delivers twenty to thirty posts a day on a variety of topics from “whoops look at those nincompoops the NYT” to “hey look at those idiots over on the left” to “omg look at that fat drunk teddy kennedy” to “fuck the UN” to “lets talk about space”.

while most of you slackers are lucky to post three times a week the instapundit has already lapped you before you take your first bong rip, and for that reason alone you should respect him.

he also gets more hits an hour than most of you will get your entire lifetime and thats why you should fear him.

because i still have a little resin in my cranium i chose to discount his approach, content, and lack of transparency but hopefully i always pepper it with not-so-sarcastic praise and awe because what he does is far tougher than it looks. shit, even drudge gives the dems some love once a day and doesnt have the balls to claim to be moderate, let alone libertarian.

people ask me all the time why i spend so much time paying attention to the good professor and i always want to say that a blogger who ignores the instapundit is like the oakland a’s trying to ignore the yankees: you might not like the way they do shit but youre a fool if you dont study them and find their weaknesses and exploit them to all hell.

one day guys like glenn and charles at lgf will sit down with me or allow me to podcast an interview with them and you’ll see that i kid because i love, and i do love instapundit.com if for anything he makes me feel punk rock and honest and young and transparent.

and its nice to know that my hits have doubled each year over the last two years without an instalanche, which should be a lesson to all of you: you can diss those who could help you and stil thrive. you can criticize those you respect and not be shunned. you can tell it like it is and not be buried. so speak your mind young bloggers and dont worry about burning potential bridges, as long as your critiques are factual and not personal you have nothing to fear.

however, if you kiss the right people’s ass you’ll get hella hits. so choose your battles and be wise about who your allies might be.

in yesterdays post the instapundit says that he doesnt editorialize much any more and he’s right, he lets those who he links to do his dirty work. learn from that young jedis. learn from that.

happy blogiversary instapundit, youre one of my favorite bloggers and most-read blogs, you give me a clear insight into the right and i appreciate it. maybe one day you wont be scared to send your readers here. i promise to send them back.

most of em.

kovixen + the fat guy + matt welch + little green footballs + photo of alecia

starring Stephen Chow, Wah Yuen, Qiu Yuen, and Zhi Hua Dong as Donut
written and directed by Stephen Chow

this summer ive been treated to some excellent films.

one of them i cant talk about because it hasnt come out yet, but the other one, kung fu hustle, is now available on dvd and it deserves the busblog’s highest rating.

in the same way that i wonder how much more the red state mentality can wash over america, i wonder how far movies can be stretched in its imagination, in its quickness, and in its seamlessness.

stephen chow is a creative little bastard and his vision is realized in kung fu hustle in the same way all the geniuses at Looney Tunes imagined it and saw it realized on the screen.

the thing about chow, though, is he does it with real people proving that animation is kid stuff.

its funny, dangerous, thrilling, awe-inspiring, beautiful, touching, and full of crouching tiger meets matrix fighting.

at times it feels like a musical, at times it feels like a great cartoon, and at times it feels like a video game where every boss has to fight with each other.

for a while jackie chan was the ultimate in chinese kung fu, but in this film stephen takes that chan blend of comedy and violence to a higher level, a much higher level. the most unlikely characters will kick your ass in ways that ive never seen on screen.

there are bad guys who can do things to you that seem defenseless but just like in a video game theres a way to beat them, the only question is, can you do it before its too late.

at the root of most great films is a sense of spirituality and redemption, of goodness and honor. theres none of that in this film. until the right moment. its at that time that you realize that chow is a genius, and his filmmaking was simply the vehicle to get us all there.

the only other movie ive seen of his was shaolin soccer and although it was funny at parts, it was overthetop and i turned it off after a little while. in this film he took what he was learning and he molded it and then went wayyy over the top but it works here because it wasnt exaggeration for exaggeration sake, it was exaggeration because he had mastered his craft.

i cannot think of a negative thing to say about this film or a flaw in its design.

we are taken to another world, we are introduced to a variety of interesting and unique characters and we like them all, even the most cruel, and we are treated to some of the best duels and most ridiculous slapstick and it all makes sense.

im not so sure that chow would have been able to make this movie if films like the matrix, crouching tiger, star wars, or drunken master II hadnt preceeded it. but what he does so interestingly is take all the special effects from those films and use them for his own means as if they were new colors to his pallete.

and i love that the bad guys use the hand axe, my favorite of all weapons.

four million stars.

schuey + tara + imdb listing + frozen toothpaste

and had heard of me was surprised when i bashed an anonymous negative commentor yesterday.

he heard that i was a super cool very nice guy.

and thats right, i am usually percieved that way.

unless you fuck with me or my friends and then the xbi agent is summoned.

last month some bloggers who didnt really know me but were jacking my style were suprised when the super nice hippie born again love love love blogger showed his dark side.

oh ive got a dark side america. you bet i do.

like you, im a complicated human being. but i think that confuses people sometimes. it shouldnt.

i love the cubs and chicago and my family, but i hardly ever visit them.

i love my friends and isla vista and the beach, but i hardly ever see any of them.

i love music and living in hollywood and i love rock shows but i hardly ever go.

i love girls and fucking and drinking and partying, but this summer i barely left my house and i didnt even go on one date.

and the strangest of all, i love reading and writing and blogging and publishing my own shit but this summer i barely wrote anything, i read nothing but blogs, and even though i have a perfectly good book (or two) that would probably earn me about $4-5k, ive sat on it and havent released anything.

i love the bible but i havent seriously studied it in years and years.

i love writing poems and i havent written any poetry in years.

i love my apartment but i havent fixed it up, i have a lawyer friend and i havent sued my landlord, i just left a crazy job at a tv network and i havent written down my experiences anywhere, i watch pretty much everything good on tv and i havent told you about it.

one of my good friends is editor of the music section of the local weekly and i havent nurtured that relationship, i have about five chicks online who would get naked for me in a click and i havent asked them to, ive got a resume and a personality that would make me a millionare but im not interested. in fact i dont even know what i want to do except blog for someone. and yet i havent even tried very hard to do that.

the good people of odeo last week hooked me up so i could podcast from their site and i havent tried it out yet. my friends from my old job want to have a farewell party for me (its overdue) and although i love them im dragging my feet on that. i have two new printers that i havent taken out of their box, i have tons of pics i would love to scan but i wont, i have tons of books i want to read but i dont. ive had people ask me to write screenplays with them or create tv shows or write books for humungous publishing houses but i tell them all thanks but no thanks not because i wouldnt like to do those things one day but today isnt the day and hell if i know why its not.

i get bored super easy but ive never cheated on a girlfriend. in fact im the most loyal man there is and if i fall in love with a girl im in love forever and im in touch with almost all of them for the exception of those who dont want to be in touch with me for whatever reasons.

i love chicago and baseball and harry caray and bill veeck but if comiskey park burned down i would laugh and piss on its embers. fuck the american league and fuck the chicago whitesox.

im a devout Christian but im not so sure about forgiveness. if youve fucked me over and you want me to forgive you you need to write your apology out, cut your finger and dip your thumb in the blood and stamp it next to your signature, and maybe i will forgive you. if youre lucky.

but if youve done me right i will be there for you day or night, at all hours, your faults will be strengths, your blemishes will be beautiful, i will tell you repeatedly that i love you and i will mean it and i will defend you and fight for you and when i fight i win because how dare anyone even consider trying to go toe to toe with us.

i love my readers, i love my commentors, and i dont mind if people have constructive criticisms, but they better be right and they better not be anonymous because the lord blessed me with the power to communicate and with power comes responsibility and sometimes its my responsibility to call people out on their shortcomings.

some people like that responsibility, i dont, and so when im forced to cull it up im pissed off and resentful because that energy, i believe, could be used in better ways for better people. and i hate the fact that idiots get to have my attention even for a second when it should be paid to someone who i love or miss or admire.

people should write fan mail once a week. i do it because i get it and i love it and i want to pass the buck in a nice way. so when i find myself writing hate mail to someone i feel like its taking away from the fan mail that i should be writing and on top of it they dont deserve the beauty that my hate creates.

the real world made me cry today.

i did laundry.

i talked to my momma

and told her twice that i loved her.

now if the cubs keep losing im going to kill somebody.

paige + xtx + preshrunk + he knows words

and because i have a job now. and because that job makes me do things sometimes like drive through the valley during morning rush hour and evening rush hour, i find myself listening to A LOT of talk radio.

and because the liberal media is so liberal, theyve allowed rightwing blowhards pretty much every channel on the dial.

most of the time i think that these talk show people are just doing things for ratings but sometimes i think theyre just lying idiots. sometimes i just think theyre idiots.

either way they make me feel better about myself, which is nice. npr makes me feel dumb, kfi makes me feel superior.

yesterday evening Tammy Bruce and this dude were on talking about a century city strip club who had a sign on their club that said “Vaginas ‘R’ Us”

tammy bruce was all up in arms because she had to pretend that strip clubs objectify women and the dude had to appeal to the right wingers who fund the station (KFI is LA’s home of Fox News) and listen to it by saying bullshit like “i always feel gross in those places” “i always feel like i have to take a shower after i leave those places” “those places lead to crime, drugs, and prostitution in whatever neighborhoods that theyre in” and all the predictible unscientific bs.

tammy was speculating that one reason that many strip clubs in LA are relegated to industrial parks are because “people should feel ashamed to have to go into places where no moral people would go. they should feel the shame of having to go out of their way, of going where no other good people are.”

and thats when i almost pulled over and dialed kfi because thats just plain wrong.

industrial parks are part of america. not everyone needs to have their office or small manufactoring plant on wilshire blvd or overlooking the pacific.

my mother, for example, works in an industrial park in the suburbs of illionis because she works for a company that makes parts and then ships them to the UK. that business doesnt need to be in a central part of town, it doesnt need to be in a highrise, it doesnt need to be in a trendy part of the city. it needs to be in a wide-open, cheap to rent location with lots of parking and access to trucking routes.

strip clubs often find themselves in those areas not because their patrons feel shame, but because neighborhoods might claim “freedom” as “liberty” when they defend the war on iraq, but when it comes to the freedom to dance topless or the freedom to watch pretty women dance nude, that liberty is relegated to the not-in-my-backyard mentality.

so if the titties are in the industrial parks, good. that way no kids accidentally walk in to the wrong door, and theres lots of parking, and shit can go on all night without disturbing the neighbors.

what bruce and the other dude kept overlooking was my part of LA, hollywood, where strip clubs and xxx shops are on a variety of streets including sunset blvd blocks away from hollywood high and on la brea, again, blocks from a high school.

nudity and the human body are two things that drive the alleged God-loving rightwingers crazy. on one hand they want to have you believe that they love God who is infallible, but on the other hand they want to cover up his finest work: the female body.

pick a side righties: is the human body beautiful or isnt it?

should people be allowed to have a business which has not been proven to cause people to do drugs and break laws, or shouldnt they?

these talking fools kept trying to say that the areas surrounding the strip clubs were cess pools of prositution. excuse me, but isnt prostitution the oldest profession? isnt prostitution going to happen regardless of the neighborhood or what clubs surround it? heidi fleiss had a huge business and she wasnt near any strip club, she had a telephone. the telephone is what drug dealers use, what terrorists use, what child molestors use. strip clubs have caused far fewer issues than telephones. but you dont hear them say to ban them. nor should they.

if the issue is people are afriad that prositution or drugs are the real problem, how about make prostitution a 3-strikes type crime. get caught three times and you go to jail for 20 years. same for drugs. the problem is many of the right wingers and politicians knwo that they frequent hookers and do drugs.

thus the hypocracy.

the question i would have asked bruce and the other guy is this: if i could dance the way some of these girls dance, and if i could get women to pay me $20 to grind on them for 3 minutes, why shouldnt i do it? because fakers like you might judge me? ha. i will make probably $125 working hard for 8 hours. why wouldnt i jump at the chance to make that in one hour, go home and have the rest of the day off? you two lie for a living and exaggerate – how is that any less “moral” than ripping off my top and saying “here they are”, now pay up.

my journey to vegas exactly a month ago was life-changing for me. i went there and went to Cheeta’s strip club and talked to the ladies all night and into the early morning. they told me their life stories and i listened. they showed me their boobies and i paid up. the whole night cost me one days salary of about $125. i had a great night, met some wonderful human beings, and afterwards i quit smoking pot, a habit i did daily for ten years.

being able to go into a place and meet strangers, talented beautiful women, listen to great music, talk about real topics, and do it in a sexy enviornment, was priceless to me. and im sure that when i told this very big-boned young girl that she wasnt fat that she had muscles and was thick and sexy and i wanted a lap dance and i wanted to tip her and i wanted to buy her a drink was so awesome for her that she invited me to her house to hang out.

what she and i talked about for 45 mintues was something that we couldnt have done at the mcdonalds across the street. if she had approached me there i woulda blown her off. if i had approached her there and asked if i could examine her body and squeeze her thigh real quick to see how much was fat and how much wasnt would have earned me a punch in the gut. but in the context of the strip club where everything starts with bodies and sex: two subjects we as humans, even in 2005 have huge difficulties with discussing, especially because of fakers like those ratings-hungry talk show hosts – i could tell the big girl that she wasnt fat and i could tell the medium boobied girl that if she got boob implants she would be wasting her money cuz she is beautiful, and was cool.

some might say that i went there to be validated and have my bald head rubbed and have girls say nice things to me because i had the money, but i looked at it as a way to tell hot babes the things i would love to tell hot babes when i see them walking down the street: damn girl you got it goin on, let me buy you a drink.

i realize that i am not like everyone else. but i bet you there are more people like me than tammy bruce et al give america credit for. i would imagine that most men just want to hang out in a club full of beautiful women now and then and live in the fantasy world of hard rock music, booze, and topless girls paying attention to us, and letting us talk about real life issues and learn about each other with sparkly lights, perfume, and glitter.

if a society is going to allow guns to be sold at walmarts and liquor stores to be on every corner, to not allow topless bars or stip clubs in those very same neighborhoods is prudish antiamerican and hypocratic if thats even a word.

doc searls paid me the hugest compliment yesterday + i was the quote of the day here + anti

that i would get to bed early tonight and it looks like that wont be happening.

but we can sleep when we’re dead. right.

i hate that saying.

its so unChristian.

why would anyone want to sleep when theyre dead?

why wouldnt people want to believe in Heaven, in All Good, in Paradise, in Rock n Roll Forever

in mountains made of ice cream

in lines of hot babes waiting outside to meet you.

in clouds made of cotton candy and trees that you eat and rivers that have clean water and presidents that are actually voted for.

who the fuck is the president to take the pussy way out of skirting around the congress and getting bolton and that other guy jobs?

who the fuck is the instapundit and all the rest who just let this guy bastardize the constitution and balance of power and checks and balances?

i have no idea why we look up to professors online or in the neighborhood when those of us who went to college remember far more fucked up professors than great ones.

i read an article today that there is a blog created every second.

this is what i hope from the new generation of blogs that were created in the last twenty minutes that its taken me to get it together and write this post:

you will have the courage to write your blog out of honesty, transparency, openmindedness, and creativity.

tell us what you really think. dont hide behind the links that you provide or the pictures you post or the commentors that you attract

if youre going to do what it takes and stay up late and work to tweak your blog, make it a direct reflection of your soul

whats yr soul?

its the picture you have in your head of you as a little kid

its the good part of you that will get compared to the adult part of you to see how it matches up

if youre ever lost think about that little picture or that elementary school picture of you with your chipped front tooth or fucked up hair and say

am i living up to the hopes and dreams of that excellent kid

or have i sold out to the fears of society and become a tool

and echo of a fat guy in a little coat.

i have sold out in many ways but my ultimate goal is to be the man that that little kid wanted to be when he grows up.

and since i’ll never make the major leagues, at least my blog can grow up to be the blog it always wanted to be, instead.

tomorrows friday and once again i will be in flagrants neighborhood and maybe our paths cross if it is true that she meets with her resident doc #4 on fridays

if i pass you on the 101 baby, i’ll be the dude stoked that his week was perfect except for the lack of postings.

on a final note. let me tell you that yes i listen to republican radio and i also sometimes tune into the oreilly factor because ive always enjoyed circuses and therefore clowns.

today he tried to call ted kennedy a flip flopper because he once said in the 60s that life began at conception, but has been one of the biggest activists for abortion.

o’reilly as you know is a blowhard who sexually harrasses women and buffoons it up on tv and exaggerates instead of intellectualizes – for ratings.

kennedy said that he personally disagrees with abortion, but as a legistlator believes that women deserve the right to choose what happens with their body.

people ask why i listen to rep talk radio and watch rep talk tv. its because it teaches me more about dems than lib radio and tv does.

i have so much respect for teddy now, because thats exactly what i believe.

im personally against abortion, and i believe that life begins at conception, but i also believe that its up to that individual woman to decide if that embryo will grow and live and become a baby in her body.

there are so many unwanted children, there are so many issues with out-of-control growth, and overcrowding in schools, that the irresponsibility of people who want to force others to have an unexpected and/or unwanted child is insane to me.

personally im against it, but publicly people should choose what happens in their lives and in their bodies.

plus i think theres a reason that the bible never talks about abortion once, and yet it repeatedly says “do not judge”. if that isnt a hint that abortion is part of our free will, then i dont know what is.

poseurs = awesome in canadian + negro please + all about george + happy belated birthday laist

for your ass, a film

starring your long lost pal tony as himself.

its twelve fiddy three and i really should go to sleep but im fucking insane and not only have i not showered after a loooong day of some crazy shit including a trip to the valley doing manual labor, but after i write you im going to do some research for some shit im going to wake up early tomorrow to write for my job.

have i told you that i love my job? i do.

what i love is i started the job a day before i started, that ive had homework every night, that ive stayed up until past 3am every night, happilly, and not fucking took much of a break since monday.

i love that everything that i do makes sense, is important, is appreciated, must be done hard fast and brilliantly, and i love that im surrounded by smart people who are also giving a hundred per cent.

i had a marching band director who said its easier to give 100% than 95% and its so true.

i love that ive been there three days and every day ive had to meet with the owners of the company and been in meetings with them and i love that they treat everyone as equals. which isnt to say that they’re all hippy-dippy and lalalala, theyre not, but it means that you have two minutes to capture their attention and it better be right on or they’ll tell you its not right on.

its la. which might mean its ny, but its definately not anywhere else.

on arli$$ or jerry mcguire the guy would flip open his phone and say “talk to me”, these people dont even have time for that. just talk and make it good.

this morning i had to present some ideas that i had worked all night on. in a way it was almost like a pitch meeting where you say your peace and they would pick it apart. they didnt really say nice bullshitty things, they went at it like they knew the client would go at it, trying to find the weak parts. dentists dont jab the healthy parts of your tooth, they try to figure out how deep the cavity is. its not personal and i didnt take it that way. i want to find out the fucked up parts too.

so i kept pitching and listening and defending and editing, and it was awesome.

when i was a sales trainer sometimes someone would ask, “how do i develop the thick skin that you seem to have?”

and i would say, get rid of the skin entirely. have no skin. when someone brings up an objection let it go right through you as if you were a skeleton. nothing sticks to you. you hear it, you get it, it goes through you, but you take what they send and you send it back.

its like playing pong. boop. beep. boop. beep. only an idiot would get all pissed off and take things personally during a pong game.

heres my idea. boop.

youre missing something. beep.

its missing for a reason. boop.

your reason isnt fully true. beep.

sure it is, these guys did it that way and it worked, so did these guys. boop.

and smile. its pong. you get paid to play pong. beep.

so today i made my pitch, i got to show off some of my bizarre creativity, i even made two dummy ads that they didnt even ask for. then i was in a staff meeting which was great cuz everyone was playing speed pong. then we loaded up the truck with crazy shit for our secret location.

and then i found myself in flagrants neck of the woods in a uhaul in the blazing summer heat. and then i worked all day moving shit and building shit and talking to two very cool surfer dudes who are about to enter ucla next month and i got to pick their brains about what its like to be a highschool kid in america today whose about to go to college: its very different – these two dudes didnt even know what blogs were, which isnt surprising, if you were a young surfer living on the beach you probably wouldnt be interested in blogs either.

then i found myself on the 101 at rush hour near the 405 (the busiest freeway intersection in america) and it wasnt very bad at all.

then i found myself listen to sean hannity and being very impressed by him because he was telling america all the things wrong with republicans right now. beep.

and then he said, so libs, dont think that youre the only ones who can say that youre the intellectual party because some republicans have what it takes to fully do a laundry list of what their party needs to do to be better. booop.

then i found myself walking through a bad part of town after dropping off the rental car and considering walking all the way home cuz even though i had basically gotten a workout moving and building and lifting all day, im a slob and a three mile walk might do me good.

but then i found myself climbing aboard the vermont rapid bus, putting my buck twenty five in there and enjoying the air conditioned ride till it got to los feliz

and then i found myself turning on the tv but not the sound and thinking youre in a very weird place right now emotionally and spiritually you should either beat off or catch up on your emails and fantasy baseball. which i did. until ashley of all people called.

and then i thought about how i havent talked to karisa in a long time

or had two blog posts in a row in a long time

and then i found myself worrying that my readers will leave me if i cant figure out a way to knock two out a day.

and then i found myself thinking, just write. nobody writes like you. they’ll be back. people leave all the time and come back and theyre always happy when they return.

and then i found myself eating apple sauce.

and then i found myself blogging. which is the easiest thing ive ever done ever, if you dont count fingering those drunk girls the other night until completion. but who on earth wouldnt count that.

bloop.

sorry that was twenty four minutes. i suck.

prufr0ck + beautiful sorta + abrasivist + fil