it’s mostly about politics, but parts are funny, and it ends really funny
cuz matt’s wife starts yelling at him. it’s about an hour long

today i interviewed 15yr old lauren pony in a photo essay…

anna always tells me that i never tell the loyal readers of the blog when i have done a new photo essay or a new interview or done something to the web site.

so since i told her i wasnt going to do anything like that until she came back to tennis (which she did yesterday in Dublin) follwing her most recent injury… where was i?

oh yeah, i had the opportunity to chat with one of the hottest new girls of bloggerdom, lauren from madpony.

lauren is fifteen, an equestrian rider, is that how you say it? and an all-around funny chick.

my guess is she really does know how many days are in november.

her older sister kristin is in a sorority in oklahoma and will hopefully agree to an interview soon too.

people write in and ask me why i give these girls so much love. thats easy. they’re funny. theyre smart.

and they both hype the busblog nearly every day.

they credit this blog with the success of their blog, which has only been around for less than a month, and yet i havent made their hall of fame. interesting. perhaps there is more to the nomination process than meets the eye.

some things that did not come out in the interview: lauren is a super fast typist. its crazy. she can do three lines before im done snorting one. [ rimshot ].

thank you.

she really does like the pancake maker that was first popularized when my good pals bonnie and charlie got one for me for my birthday. see, those two kids’ love has spread across this great land of ours.

is lauren taken? well thats a question that i didnt bother to ask. for all you boys still in highschool, lets just say perhaps you should ask her yourself. for all those men out of her age group, yes, shes taken and shes jailbait, so move on.

regardless, here is the interview. click the pictures to advance to the next page, and feel free to tell me how great it all was in the comments below.

[editor’s note, long time readers of the busblog know, but the newbies might not, it was because of a post by Lauren in Madpony where she killed me in her fictional tale that inspired me to run with her storyline that led to what is now known as Stiff… on sale now… makes a great gift…]

lauren’s myspace page + kristin’s buzznet page + a mess of other photo essays

dark skinned, bootylicious, attitudinal, needy, and hairless.

she had convinced me via email that i was dating too young and too white.

as a registered Independent i do my best to keep my mind open in all walks, including politics, including fast food choices

so why not pussy.

she asked me why i didnt date sistas and i told her it was because they remind me of my sister.

she asked me why i didnt date mamis and i said cuz they remind me of my mommy.

she asked why i didnt go downtown and i said just because im a Black man doesnt mean i dont go downtown but youve gotta deserve it

she pushed me back and said oh im gonna make you wanna take that incredible journey

and she danced to a silent slowjam which soon wasnt so silent.

the problem with having an everything and nothing blog is its like having many wives of different backgrounds. you have to please them all sometimes at the same time, which, fratboys, doesnt always mean carnal wishes for not all your wives yearn for that sort of attention

sometimes a few of them just want to take a walk in the woods by the cool river

sometimes a few of them just want to have you talk with them as they make dinner

sometimes a few of them just want you to pounce on top of them and whisper heres your nigga

and sometimes they growl but they really wanna play follow the leader

and the black man in the jungle is the leader so dont forget it.

yesterday i wrote two and a half posts about a controversial group of bloggers who have been under scrutiny for a variety of reasons since even before they launched several months ago.

i had written about them before and little did i know that one of those posts would strike a nerve with several of the participants and create bizarre reactions and an unexpected spike of attention.

it made the respected right wing blog winds of change to speculate that i connected the dots the way i did to generate the attention.

before i got ads on my blog i would have blown off such slurs by saying “who cares if i get peaks of traffic, i aint got no ads, so who cares if people link to me,” and i thought long and hard before getting ads and i decided that if i was to have them id have to do something so that people would never be able to distrust my intentions by assuming that i wrote something simply for hits and therefore higher adrates.

so what i did this summer when i finally accepted ads in the busblog was i asked for triple the rate of other bloggers who had the same hits as me. that way even if one day i got double the hits that i normally got because of some freak spike, no one could say that i was doing it for money because motherfuckers i was already getting triple the market rate just being me.

the ladies of the house who care about finances love me for this but those whose desires are more sensual and animalistic dont bother with petty things like blogs and theories and zeroes and ones and admitted propaganda and group think lockstep anyonebuthilary hosting models

all they care about is nookie

all they want is what god gave me

all they need is lust

so for you, my many wives of my many mansions who have felt neglected by the petty pace of the day to day, my apologies and on bended knee i ask you to not forget me

and dont ever think ive forgotten you.

this morning she woke me quietly silently playfully

working it carefully like a drowsy kitten with a ball of yarn

wanting to do something else but instinctually needing to keep a paw on it

ears peaked

tail peaked

and quietly purring

i thought how could a girl as fine as this one not be totally bored of these games by this age, surely every man whose crossed her path has offerred or insisted or demanded or been accepted and certainly shes seen so much of what she appears amazed of that its old hat now

but the beauty of the world i keep learning is nothing is predictable

and people have far different lives than what they lead on to

and sometimes the hottest chick

fucking loves being the hottest chick

and loves

being loved.

mitya + planet claire + pitt + martini republic

i was able to get a new mattress, get rid of my old mattress, move a bunch of crap for my true love, i got to see Tsar and a whole bunch of friends, i even got to take this picture and a bunch more of Poison’s C.C. Deville with the ladies from Rocket and wih Tsar.

but right before the show i checked my stats because i noticed a few comments from strangers… and holy crap Crooks and Liars had linked me!

if you look on my left hand side bar right below my “ad” for Stiff, you’ll see the graphic and link to C&L. i fucking love that site. what they do is collect all the best video clips of the day – political clips – and host them. it’s like having a super smart Tivo. in between the video posts they link to other news on the blogosphere with a political bent.

in my rant yesterday about why im glad im not a right wing blogger right now, i mentioned that Tim Blair had bailed out of Pajamas Media. i guess for some reason the dudes at C&L didnt know that juicy little tidbit and linked over to me.

before i could email them to thank them for the love, they actually emailed ME! a few emails were exchanged of mutual admiration which blew my mind because i had no idea they knew me. sometimes i’ll write about politics but in no way am i a political blogger.

anyways, it was great to get recognized by one of my favorite blogs. However, with the good comes the bad, and with the bad comes the idiotic, somehow antisemitism got thrown into the discussion, and Bill Clinton for some reason… and then of course some idiot wants to call me a partisan.

and thats where i draw the line because the Righty approach to criticsm to Bush is so predictable its funny first they will attack the critic – they wont address the issue at hand they will call the critic a moonbat or a michaelmoorelover or try to say that the critic has an agenda. then they will just assume that the critic is a liberal because NO WAY IN HELL would a republican be pissed off at Bush right now or skeptical of who else is on the take. then they’ll change the subject.

for the record i have voted for Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Nader, and Kerry. thats two republicans, three dems, and one Green for president. i am a registered Independent. i listen to Rush, Michael Savage, Al Franken and Randi Rhodes equally. i link far more to the Instapundit and LGF than I do to Atrios or Kos. But I probably link even more to Libertarian Matt Welch.

it’s my belief that an educated american should listen to all the sides and then make a decision based on information as opposed to political affiliation.

but commentor “D” wouldnt know from that.

heres his comment and my rebuttal.

Tony is a pertisan liberal and that is his choice, but it clouds everything he thinks just as a partisan conservative is clouded by his instinctive predilections. It is very silly to oppose Tony’s viewpoints becuase he is an intractable as any partisan.
D |

D,

firstly, its spelled, “partisan”.

secondly, im an Independent.

personally i think anyone who says that they belong to a particular party and then blindly votes for that party is part of the problem.

fourthly Bush isnt a Republican. Republicans typically believe in small government, privacy, isolationism, and are against tax-and-spend economics.

BushCo has his fingers in all of our lives, has created a huge government, has used his failings during and after 9/11 to destroy a persons privacy thru the Patriot Act so that the government can even see what books we check out at the library, he’s certainly into nation building, and he’s the pioneer of dont-tax-but-spend economics.

but because he puts an (R) next to his name you idiots lap up whatever he dishes out because “at least his first name isnt Hillary”.

this mindlessness has you defending a war based on no WMDs, torture, secret prisons in eastern europe, imprisoning people for years at Gitmo without allowing them lawyers, the outting of a CIA agent, the cutting of benefits to the military WHILE theyre fighting this ridiculous war…

he’s got you believing that $2.25 a gallon for gas is a bargain, that war heroes like Murtha and Kerry aren’t heroes because they have a (D) next to their name, that bailing out of the Texas National Guard is ok as long as you have an (R) next to your name, and that all the corruption from Delay to Frist to Rove to Libby is simply annoying and nothing to really think much about.

how about thinking for yourself for a few minutes each day?

this is not the party of Ronald Reagan and it certainly isnt the party of Lincoln. But as long as that hippy Clinton isnt in charge you’ll take whatever cock they shove down your throat. And you’ll swallow each load gleefully be it gay hookers in the white house press corps, paying off American reporters in America to write No Child Left Behind stories, to paying off the Iraqi newspapers to run Military-written proUSA stories.

if Bush does it its ok, if a commie country does it it’s fascism. and if Clinton does it it’s impeachable.

you think as well as you spell.

you dont love this country you love a letter.

you love (R) and not only are you part of the problem, you are the problem.

it’s fine to vote republican, so do us all a favor and actually elect some fucking REPUBLICANS and not the crooks and liars who claim to be republicans.

but before you do that, admit it when the boys that you put in office are fucking morons. Dems did it here in California with Gray Davis and they voted for Arnold, and now we’re about to vote his ass out too.

Finally if you believe that BushCo isnt above paying off bloggers the same way theyve paid off every other form of media youre fucking crazy and you need to ask yourself two questions

1) what makes right wing Bloggers so different than right wing journalists that they wouldnt accept the money that the journalists accepted?

2) what has this administration done in regards to distributing information that has made you trust that they wouldnt prime the pump by paying off bloggers?

currently the president’s approval rate is around 35%, rightfully. but that number is bullshit if half the country just runs out and votes for the next dumbfuck who puts an (R) next to his name.

you dont have to be a pertisan your whole life, D, infact you dont even have to be intelligent your whole life. Talk as much shit as you want in the comments of blogs, or at the bar, or at the office, but for about 15 minutes each year when youre in the voting booth, why dont you do us all a favor and actually think for your fucking self for once and not bow down to a letter.

antiwar + stealth badger + crooks and liars

by tony pierce, 112

you can debate whether BushCo knew that Osama was determined to strike inside the US a month before 9/11, or if they knew that there were no ties between Iraq and Al Qaeda, or if they knew that Iraq didn’t have WMDs,

but theres one thing that is not in debate about this administration: they are shameless propagandists who will stop at nothing to use and manipulate the press in illegal and immoral ways making whores out of the so-called fourth estate during this era of widespread and wanton corruption.

so since we know that the Bush administration has paid off pro journalists, a gay male hooker wannabe journalist, and now iraqi newspapers

of course they’re probably paying off bloggers, and/or funding Right Wing consortums – why wouldnt they?

it’s easier than producing the shit themselves.

this week the LA Times broke the story that the U.S. Military had hired several companies to carry out “strategic communications” in foreign countries with heavy US Military presence, including a company once called Iraqex, but now called Lincoln Group. The Times discovered that it turned out that many of those communications involved paying Iraqi newspapers to run US propaganda, and yesterday the Pentagon admitted the Times was right, that the US was back in the propaganda biz.

of course this doesnt mean that your tax dollars are being used to pay for Bush/Cheney/Rove’s messages to be printed in Iraqi papers… it means that BushCo allocates billions to the military, they give $100 million contract to Lincoln Group and then they pay off the Iraqi papers to run the stories.

oh wait, i guess that does mean that your tax dollars are being spent on propaganda.

and i guess it also means that the President no longer feels that “our agenda ought to be able to stand on its own two feet.” A belief he had this January in the wake of the Armstrong Williams scandal where his Cabinet was caught paying off the conservative to write pro-No Child Left Behind stories.

so it got me thinking, if BushCo has at least $100 million to spend on name-changing media spinning company in Iraq… do they have $3.5 million left over to spend on a name-changing media spinning company in America?

if RoveCo had no problem funding conservative journalists in the mainstream press to reward/encourage them to continue to write pro-Bush columns, it seems to me that $3.5 million to secure 70 big-time bloggers via multi-year contracts would not only be in line with the history of this administration, but a bargain at twice the price.

now im not saying that Charles Johnson and Roger L. Simon are in bed with the Bush Administration, or the Instapundit. those guys are fair and balanced. any time the Republicans make horrible mistakes, the first people to point them out are Little Green Footballs and Professor Reynolds.

but i am saying that in light of the latest example of Propaganda from Above – Pajamas Media is starting to look fishier and fishier.

Johnson and Reynolds ran super tight ships at LGF and Instapundit.com – why is Pajamas Media such a clusterfuck of sloppiness and confusion? Could it be that its a reflection of their donors: BushCo? Could it be because Johnson et al have long-term guaranteed contracts that has nothing to do with ad revenue, but instead has to do with keeping the Administration happy with pro-Bush coverage, that they simply dont care about the details of their goofy site – just keep it rolling and keep it Right.

And why did Tim Blair bail out once he came to America and saw OSM/Pajamas up close. Did he see the puppet strings and piss his pants?

And what about Ann Althouse? As someone who grew up in IL from K-12 I know Wisconsin very well, yes it’s a relatively inexpensive place to live, but as a conservative law professor at Wisconsin, what could be so bad about years of guaranteed ad revenue from Pajamas Media? Is the money that dirty?

And why is it that the only person that they could get to deliver their Keynote was Judy Miller — and why would they pick Judy Miller? Because they knew she wouldnt squeal on them?

These are the wispers that I would not want to have hissed around me if i was writing a blog with my name on it.

I would not want to be the next Armstrong Williams or Jeff Gannon.

I would not want to be the next whore in the stable of Pimp Daddy Rove.

If I thought that the LA Times was wrong about their coverage about the “news” scandal in Iraq, I would feel weird defending the propaganda like folks like the VodkaPundit of Pajamas Media, ProteinWisdom, and the Jawa Report because, well, maybe it would make people really think that I was on the take. She doth protest too much, etc.

I mean, come on fellas, defending propaganda? What’s next — defending torture and secret prisons?

For all I know, and I mean this seriously, Pajamas Media and every single Right Wing Blogger could be totally on the up-and-up. And for all I know the entire Bloggersphere is completely legit, sincere, and in no way the press release for the White House.

But BushCo did pay off pro journalists, and got caught.

BuschCo did sneak in a gay male hooker into the White House press corps and got caught.

BushCo did create videopropaganda disguised as news and sent it to tv news stations and got caught.

BushCo did leak classified information to the press regarding a CIA agent, lied about it under oath and got caught.

And now BushCo got caught paying off Iraqi newspapers to run “news” stories secretly written by the US Military.

I would not want to be supporting this administration right now Particularily on topics like Propaganda if i was being paid by a Right Wing Angel Investor who very well could have an intimate relationship with people like the Lincoln Group, Iraqex, or HalliburtonCo.

Not because it’s illegal or immoral – but because if it ever got out that i was a whore for this trainwreck of a Presidency, a mouthpiece who had a pricetag, an alleged blogger who intentionally chose not to write certain things because i was being paid by The Man for PR,

then nobody would ever trust what I had to say ever again.

yes i believe that if this administration has $100 million to spend on propaganda overseas, that it has a few million to spend corralling willing and loyal bloggers here in america.

the only question is, when will we find out who those bloggers on the take are, and what will happen to their reputations once they’re outted.

developing…

pajamas is still using osm.org and the O graphic – why? + matt w + matt g + buzzmachine

r icon? are u trying to piss me right off?
raymi: kidding

dumbass of america: it’s her birthday, show a little love!

raymi: ok this has to be a quick interview because i have to walk into town to drink some of my cheap beers before we drive to a concert

raymi: ok i dont want a picture of some old man with a yankee hat on
raymi: ok next question

dumbass of america: do you love me?

raymi: yes

dumbass of america: great

raymi: are you needy today?

dumbass of america: only a little
dumbass of america says: how about you

raymi says: i am glad that you suggested that boy buy me beers one time because he did it and i had no money and it was like wow this whole blogging thing works in the real world i totally forgot
raymi says: oh i am always needy but whatever this “interview” is about you
raymi says: ok so this is another blook right

dumbass of america says: yes its another blook
dumbass of america says: this one is way different though

raymi says: like it is less shitty than the first one?

dumbass of america says:cuz the first one was “This Is How Shitty Your First Year Will Be.”
dumbass of america says: exactly

raymi says: oh u have to put the “i chose raymi as best blogger” thing up again so people can know about it and i can brag about it to people who have no idea about blogs and hopefully get them to give me money or something

dumbass of america says: done
dumbass of america says: im so sorry about that btw

raymi says: ok so like are you going to do anything to change your life ever

dumbass of america says: im in the process
dumbass of america says: i am applying for new jobs
dumbass of america says: that normally changes everything

raymi says: i dont care tony like i only have to get upset about something for a little while and then i am over it

raymi says: well are u going to move away from that fucking hollywood sign?

dumbass of america says: never
dumbass of america says: my rent is so cheap my landlord keeps trying to figure out ways to evict me. never once does he say, here’s a bag of money: leave!

raymi says: do u know any sceinonologists?

dumbass of america says: i met beck’s brother once. he played me midnight vultures months before it came out. thats about as close as i got.

raymi says: are u losing all of your hair yet?

dumbass of america says: i shaved it off a while ago

raymi says: are you sensitive about that question.

dumbass of america says: only a little
dumbass of america says: but not really
dumbass of america says: i know im olde
dumbass of america says: you really dont read me much do you?

raymi says: i do but u are like confusing u have all these links and pictures and i am always looking for stuff about me
raymi says: and then there are all these hollywood pictures and i am like yaaaaawn
raymi says: u need to talk about other stuff

dumbass of america says: well i could easilly make a I Heart Raymi blog but then people get the wrong idea
dumbass of america says: what should i write about?

raymi says: like i know u work for the xbi or whatever and maybe have access to secret stuff but i guess that works for boring lame people who care about current events in media and sports

raymi says: um write less about girls who come over to yer apt to be all i heart tony because then yer guy readers will be like i hate tony

dumbass of america says: i have no access to secret stuff thru the xbi

raymi says: like i think yer readers would want tony to grow up and get married or have a steady girl who isnt 14 yrs old and goes to vegas to buy halloween costumes because she has dumb hair

dumbass of america says: yikes
dumbass of america says: that was years ago baby

raymi says: ok well u live in hollywood and have access to weird people?

dumbass of america says: all i have access to is the internet
dumbass of america says: i have all the same access as anyone

raymi says: i know it was years ago but there are only so many things i can remember
raymi says: ok well then fine i am already forgetting the point i was trying to make

dumbass of america says: but since you bring her up
dumbass of america says: i dated ashley*, who was young, i will admit that
dumbass of america says: but i havent even really talked to her in like a year or two
dumbass of america says: but we loved each other
dumbass of america says: im no agist
dumbass of america says: and theres stuff in the new book about us breaking up

raymi says: well dating young is fine, just dont date dumb-young
raymi says: i like looking at those pictures though kuz even tho i hate celebrities i love looking at their cleavages

dumbass of america says: oh i have some nude courtney love pics then

raymi says: ok she is boring i dont care next question
raymi says: do u have a negative body image?

dumbass of america says: no
dumbass of america says: i like my bod
dumbass of america says: i have a little hairy belly that all the girls seem to like
dumbass of america says: my dick works fine
dumbass of america says: my ass sorta smells occassionally
dumbass of america says: but everything else seems pretty normal

raymi says: dude people reading this interview are going to be like tony thinks he is a porn star
raymi says: anyway

dumbass of america says: god i wish. maybe in heaven where it;s kosher.

raymi says: ok so when are u going to go to canada
raymi says: and completely come undone
raymi says: do u feel safe in los angeles
raymi says: are u afraid of the east side

dumbass of america says: i live on the east side of hollywood
dumbass of america says: eassside up, wessside down

raymi says: i am talking about the futhafuckin east coast

dumbass of america says: i feel totally safe in LA cuz i dress like a gangsta
dumbass of america says: oh that easside
dumbass of america says: only reason i want to go to TO is to see you in your natural domain
dumbass of america says: and get doubleteamed by terra and paige

raymi says: like u are um biggie and we are 2pac or whatever i think
raymi says: who the hell are terra and paige

dumbass of america says: im nwa
dumbass of america says: two youngsters in TO

raymi says: gross
raymi says: i mean
raymi says: are they lame

dumbass of america says: youre a youngster too babydoll
dumbass of america says: no theyre great

raymi says: am i older than they are

dumbass of america says: by maybe one year

raymi says: ok so i can boss them around and stuff?
raymi says: do they think they are better than me?

dumbass of america says: in my fantasies you boss us all around
raymi says: nice.

dumbass of america says: i wouldnt visit anyone who thought htat
raymi says: woah awesome.

dumbass of america says:
can i tell you something off the record

raymi says: i like that blogs are like highschool and i get to be the leader even though everyone is like i hate her
raymi says: tell it

dumbass of america says: [secret]

raymi says: and…

dumbass of america says: [secret]

raymi says: hhahah
raymi says: thanks

dumbass of america says: ok back to being on the record
dumbass of america says: isnt that weird though?>

raymi says: no

dumbass of america says: great

raymi says: ok lets stop being pervy

dumbass of america says: ok

raymi says: well i think it is kuz people get mega obsessed ove my pssy

dumbass of america says: msn chat does this to me

raymi says: its like a young looking one

dumbass of america says: i like your ass more
dumbass of america says: im not sure ive seen it though

raymi says: yeh well im all over perfect i guess

dumbass of america says: oh wait yea i have
dumbass of america says: ahahaha
raymi says: heheh

dumbass of america says: what would you change to your bod if you could?

raymi says: love handles and upper arms
raymi says: make them firmer
raymi says: they got firmer overthe summer when i was hyper longboarding and shit

dumbass of america says: baby youre so fine, dont change a thing
raymi says: ok then dont ask me that question juzt to come back with that
raymi says: every girl has her insecurities
raymi says: doi
raymi says: ok i seriously have to go drink beer now

dumbass of america says: ok seriously thanks for interviewing me
dumbass of america says: one last question
dumbass of america says: how do you like that nirvana box set?

raymi says: i do not own it my friend owns it and i like it just fine’
raymi says: ok xo

thanks raymi!

win free tickets to tomorrow night’s show at Spaceland!

the best band in rock returns to their old stomping grounds, spaceland, formerly dreams in silverlake california.

as you can see from the flashing advert on the left hand side there, Tsar is one of the Class of ’05 featured LA bands per the LA Weekly.

and as you probably know, i have a pretty sweet relationship with the Weekly and Tsar so i have a pair of tickets for you to witness the rock tomorrow night.

we’ve had contests here before and usually we’ve had a little more heads-up time to figure out something to make you do – hoops to jump through – to get tickets, but since i just was offered to give away these tix yesterday heres what ive come up with

tsar loves haiku

tony loves haiku

baby Jesus loves haiku

from what i understand even Britney Spears (not pictured) whose 24th birthday is today loves haiku.

so the person who delivers the best Tsar-related haiku wins the duckets.

the boys have been traveling around Canada opening for Juliette Lewis and the Licks rocking nearly every night, and you can imagine how strong their chops are now. meaning, if you want your rock and roll ass kicked, tomorrow night is the show to go to.

if you live in LA and have never been blessed with this baptism of fire, i seriously cannot think of a better venue or time than spaceland tomorrow.

but heres some tips:

get close.

stand in the middle.

and if you really want to prepare properly, pick up Band Girls Money and listen to the first 7 songs – which is the heart of their playlist, currently.

Spaceland is a great place but the sound varies GREATLY depending on if youre near the bar or in the line of fire.

be in the line of fire.

you only live once my friends so my advice is LIVE.

the lucky haiku writer will have their name on the LA Weekly guest list so bring a valid ID. 21 yrs old and older.

and if you wanna hunt me down and buy me a pabst or a shot, i think that can be arranged.

i’ll be the knucklehead in the front row with the camera strapped around his neck like a dillweed.

good luck bashos!

about nine here + and a ton over here + and about nine on INXS.com

here’s a portion of their feature article:

“Hello Tokyo! Hello Australia! Hello Africa!” Tsar’s mascara’d main man, Jeff Whalen, hits the Roxy stage with a skinny swirl, launching his band into a frenetic flash of power-pop paradise. In taut Navy-grunt shirt, white Levi’s and sneaks, the Compleat Rock Star edition 2005 whips his grand little combo harder, faster, furiouser, windmilling his ax in twin-guitar bliss with lead guitar dude Daniel Kern. Blamblamblam!

“It’s about being born to be alive!” Whalen bawls, stripping down to a sweaty T. And then Whalen, Kern and new members Derrick Forget (bass) and Chuck Byler (drums) lay out a ripping “Wanna Get Dead” from the band’s recent Band-Girls-Money album (TVT Records), followed by “Wrong” (“which is,” Whalen says, “always pronounced wrong”).

Yes indeed, and if you cast half a squinty eye at the band’s cheezee flash-bulbed TSAR logo, you quickly grok his POV. Tsar segues from one potential hit single to another, rarely pausing to breathe or even to allow the adoring hordes to properly hail the group with whoops and hollers. Which is too bad, ’cause if any band currently struts a stage with gleefully awesome power, grandeur and majesty, it’s Tsar. Exhausting, almost, or it would be if the band’s shtick weren’t so damn funny, so very pertinent and so very, very rocking.

Sure, they’re good-humored and cuddly cute in a Banana Splits kinda way, but Tsar’s visual comedy comes loaded with a decidedly heavy rock slam and twisted, even sinister lyrical undertones — call it pathos, if you must.

Here’s a band, meanwhile, where the entire family can have hours of fun spotting the influences. Go ahead, give it a whirl: Mott the Hoople, Cheap Trick of course, Beatles, Dave Clark Five, Sweet, T-Rex, the New York Dolls, the Stones, Aerosmith, even the Archies; Ramones, ELO, Buzzcocks! BOC! BTO! (Huh?) Twin guitar leads? Aw yeah, it’s Thin Lizzy!

“We used to do a lot more of the twin lead stuff,” says Whalen. “When we first started doing it, it was cracking us up — ‘oh, we can’t do that’ — but it’s so weird how the things that started as jokes, how quickly you forget that it’s supposed to be funny.”

Whalen’s songs are the most brain-warping boiling pots of every classic rock sound from the ’60s and ’70s, but like the giants before him, he leaves the footsteps of his own eminence by smelting these influences down, so it never comes off as mere pastiche.

Stumbling out of the band’s cheapo rented maroon van — we’re talking intimate/stinky, not one of those Dolly Parton complete-with-bidet-type things — on one of their innumerable cross-country tours to drum up a little support for the glorious Band-Girls-Money, Whalen calls me from a skanky hotel room somewhere in exotic Canada. He’s eager to talk about this righteous rock & roll ragout we like to call Tsar, and the man is not at all jaded and bored and glum. You might say he’s a little too happy, considering he had to do all the driving today, from Baltimore all the way up to Ontario.

“You know,” he says, “when you’re in the van, and it’s just the band, you gotta split it up, regardless of how hung over or how much chicken you’ve eaten.”

No chauffeur, eh?

“We don’t have a liveryman as of yet, but, you know, this way we ‘keep it real’ — real tedious,” he laughs.

… read the rest here

great pics from the troubador show via ice cream man + h/t koganuts + my pics