q. who are these people who claim i blog for hits?

tigers and lions and panthersa. fakers who arent paying attention

if i wanted hits id hit the Shift key a little more frequently

if i wanted hits id write about Da Bears who are blowing up

if i wanted hits id write about my displeasure with Kobe being the only watchable Laker in town which is why i dont watch the Lakers

if i wanted hits id write about the way my fingers smelled this morning

if i wanted hits id link to the Saugeen Stripper more

if i wanted hits id do what all the fratboys do to get hits: post nudes, nip slips, cooch shots, and somethingawful grossouts

if i wanted hits i wouldnt insult my readers, challenge their dumbshit comments, and insist that they start thinking for themselves

if i wanted hits id have weekly movie reviews, weekly cd reviews, weekly hotchick features, weekly blogging tips, and weekly photo tips but i dont do that because the busblog might be a lot of things but it isnt a contrived peice of formulated corp blog whose sole intent is to get more eyeballs

if i wanted hits i wouldnt be the most transparent blogger alive, and i certainly would never admit to blogging simply to get tits in my mouth as opposed to hits on my counter

if i wanted hits id update more, id spell check more, id write about Lost more, id write about Matt Good more

if i wanted hits id write about Jenny Good way more

if i wanted hits id take you in and out of the streets of Los Angeles at least once a week spotlighting the fabulous nightclubs that i frequent, the dive bars i end up at, and the afterhours penthouse suites that i pass out in

if i wanted hits youd have seen a picture of karisa on this badboy every fucking week that its been up

if i wanted hits id let the losers just slide with their lame attempts to throw a wrench in the busblog, id delete comments and ban people

if i wanted hits id tell my friends to leave nice comments when the going got rough, or id start a fake blog and name my fake name something stupid like Elmo and barrage naysayers with nonsense if anyone ever criticized tony pierce

if i wanted hits id lurk at bigger blogs and try to make a name for myself in their comments, and either id be a royal pain in the ass or a super suckass

if i wanted hits i wouldnt bite the hands that could feed me like this one and that one, both of whom list me on their blogroll, so must have seen something here that they liked, instead id keep my criticsms about them to myself and link to them with high praise whenever they do good deeds.

if i wanted hits id cut my blog surfing in half and double my blog content, but im actually a fan of the blogs that i link to, im a fan of the blogosphere, im a fan of the genre and im up every night til 4am not writing to get hits but reading cuz i like it.

if i wanted hits id write shorter peices and market the good stuff.

if i wanted hits id withhold the best stuff and sell it to the loyals at Christmas

if i wanted hits id make my page quicker to load and easier to read

if i wanted hits id have scars on my knees

like your friends the sellouts

but i dont want hits and ive never wanted money, ive never wanted popularity but some things youre cursed with.

i charge three times the going rate for a blog with the sort of hits i get so id have to spike my shit super high for the advertisers to get their money’s worth if hits was the only reason that they displayed their message here, but its my belief that they advertise here because this isnt a sellout blog concerned with hits

this isnt a sellout blog who writes things for attention

this isnt a sellout blog who bites its tongue because omg someone might be upset

it is the unedited unspellchecked once typed and probably never read again diary entry of an undercover superhero fighting the good fight in hollywood california in a blog that pretends that nothing in here is true

and that attracts the good readers of the interweb who the good advertisers want to reach

not just soulless eyeballs

not just linedancing robots with wheel of fortune frozen on their idiot box

if i wanted hits id change everything about this blog and do everything differently but i dont think about hits any more than i think about ads and i dont think about pussy either

which is why i get all three and then some

and then some.

paige + alex + binsk

Leave a Reply