in 1997 when many of you were still in grade school

i was selling peanuts hot dogs and garlic fries in Candlestick Park, working for the san francisco giants.

i could have either sold shit there or across the bay in oakland, but instead of watching 82 games of the Bash Brothers of Mark McGwuire and Jose Canseco (with special guest star in left field Jason Giambi), i decided to keep it real and find out for myself what the deal was with Barry Bonds.

what i learned was Bonds was an enormous prick, everyone associated with him was a prick, and the only saving grace of the season was the Giants were in first place most of the year and i got to not only attend a playoff game but work it.

it was an awesome job. you could look in the paper to find out what time you had to go to work the next day.

and although the Gyros were successful it was a bittersweet ride because their star was such a fucking diva who you sorta rooted against.

well yesterday was the day when all that rooting paid off. barry bonds was exposed for being the asshole that he is. after hundreds of hours of interviews, thousands of pages of documentation, and even some hidden microphones recording secrets from the star’s personal trainer, two reporters from the SF Chronicle have compiled a book to let us know what we already knew – Barry Bonds juiced up and lied to us all.

just like canseco told us last year.

just like we always assumed.

apparently numbers dont lie, you cant hit 73 home runs when youre 39 years old unless youre doing something drastically different han everyone else.

and apparently would-be hall of famers do lie.

barry bonds is going down and it couldnt happen to a more miserable cunt. born in the lap of luxury to a father who was an all star (bobby bonds), and tutored by a godfather who was possibly the greatest baseball player of all time (willie mays). instead of appreciating that headstart and being humble, bonds walked around like he deserved the silver spoon.

instead of watching how former stars like willie stargell or willie mccovey handled their fame and fortune, he acted like a cock to the fans and a pussy to the press.

what he is getting now, in what should have been his first year in retirement, but ended up being his first year truly having to explain his behavior, is just desserts.

if only he hadnt been a greedy fuck. if only he hadnt tried to cheat to break hank aarons record. if only he had put down the needle and cut his losses. but pride is a motherfucker and juice is a hell of a drug.

the busblog rarely disses fellow Blacks, but barry bonds has given a black eye to all his brothers and sisters by trying to steal the home run crown away from a brotha who started in the negro leagues and was delivered death threats as he approached babe ruths record. hank aaron should have received the respect that he deserved from barry bonds, but instead barry tried to rob him.

and now that we have seen that one of the greatest players ever had to resort to cheating on such a large scale, perhaps one of the silver linings to this mess is that we finally know just how awesome hammering Hank’s record truly is.

meanwhile i hope barrys nuts start solidifying right now before our eyes and i hope hes kicked out of baseball and his numbers are erased from the record books. all his numbers. for all he is today is what he was when i watched him that summer – a zero – and the biggest dope in baseball.

aaron gleeman on kirby puckett + sk smiff + kitty bukkake + krista

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