which i love n hate

what do i hate? the yuppies, the dog poop, the dog poop smell, the crowds

what do i love? feeling my body improve, the hotness of participants, the view

what do i really hate? ladies with 7 dogs in their SUV who back into the front of my car HARD (WITH ME IN IT) cuz they dont know how to park and they have way too many barking dogs in their car

i have a love hate relationship with dogs in this city.

most of the people who have them have no yards, dont properly train their beasts, and probably should have a picture of a dog instead of the real thing.

if youre that lonely how about going to a club and meeting a human being? how bout that?

meanwhile if you cant drive or parallel park with zero dogs in your car and zero cars in front of you, how well do you think youre going to park with tons of dogs in your ish?

getting slammed wasnt the bad part. the bad part was thinking that i am in the market for a new car and if this is what happens WHEN IM IN THE VEHICLE i wonder what happens to my ride (and what will happen to the new one) when im away from it.

im seriously considering figuring out a way to equip my dashboard with a wifi enabled web cam so when people approach my new car we can all see the madness that happens in this fair city.

i do. canada too! and you too holland!

australia, the parts of mexico where they dont behead people, minnesota, aruba – i have love for all of you.

why am i overflowing with amore for all y’all?

because youre wonderful and sweet and beautiful and sex-ay.

and because i had the best meal last night with one hottie followed by some sweetness with another

and then my boss said i could work from home today to write for the politics blog

the best thing i wrote all week was this:

Two out of three Fox and Friends think ‘all terrorists are Muslim’

then your bff karisa gave me this link that allows one to get a $100 gift certificate to the best sushi place in all of LA for just $40!!!!

finally Obama has done something right!

oh wait, that’s Restaurant.com? same diff! whooo hooo peppered toro with truffle sauce it is!

mama mia!

whooo hooo!

ay carrumba!

happy weekend!

go Bears!

would be re-released in 3d

some people hate 3d. i love it.

in fact i cant wait to see Jackass 3D this weekend.

when 3d is done right it turns into the biggest movie in the world, hello Avatar.

and yes some 3D movies are terrible and done terribly.

hello Home Alone 5 with Snookie: 3D

i dont know why George Lucas doesn’t want to do much but rehash his old stuff, but i do know that Walt Whitman just kept adding to Leaves of Grass his entire life and no one seemed to mind.

which is why id love Lucas to turn that bad boy into a 3D trilogy and call it a day.

if he was white

a passerby said: If Prince was white, he wouldnt be Prince

yes she is standing next to a replica of a frozen Han Solo surrounded with guacamole.

but why is she smiling?

thats a great question. shes smiling, and you should too, because she is the new 2nd Food Critic for the L.A. Weekly.

(The 1st food critic, Jonathan Gold, is a Pulitzer Prize winner.)

you may say to yourself, “hmmmm, Elina Shatkin, my that name sounds familiar, where have i seen that before on the busblog?”

well, Elina was the film editor of LAist when i was over there. she is the girlfriend of Rob Takata, who snapped the photo above from Guac Bowl 2009, who i worked with at E!

my memory is fuzzy but i believe Rob emailed me soon after i got my gig to introduce me to his main squeeze to write for the metro site.

oh no, thanks to Google Mail, heres the email pitch itself dated July 9, 2006!

Tony:

I’m sure you get a lot of submissions, but my friend, Rob Takata, suggested I send you my review of The Devil Wears Prada. Perhaps you’d be interested in printing it. Also, Rob says he saw The Groomsman earlier tonight, and “It wasn’t as bad as I thought.” He says he’ll get your his review soon.

Take care,
Elina Shatkin

my friend eh? wonder what the backstory was with that.

regardless Elina averaged about 4 posts a week for LAist during her run there, ended up at the Times before I did (*shakes fist) doing web production and writing for the food blog, among others, and now she gets to eat and write alongside one of the most beloved and respected foodies in the world, Mr Gold.

SEE, PEOPLE REALLY DO WIN ON MTV!

congratulations Elina, i am very very happy and proud of you!

high stepping like a drum major

a woman who has worked for the paper for the last 15 years asked me if i take happy pills because i am almost always happy.

i consider that a compliment because No, i do not take any pills whatsoever, but also because she works within shouting distance from me and even though i love my job, its incredibly challenging since there is no more challenging space than the interwebs and she has the misfortune of seeing me during some very trying times.

but seriously only a jerk wouldnt be happy if he was in my shoes, especially at quittin time because i get to drive my little car to my many mansions and because ive somehow eluded most of the trappings of modern life i can do pretty much anything i want once the sun goes down.

that includes playing any variety of video or computer games, gardening in nothing but a Speed-o, or catching up on my ever bulging Tivo.

last night though karisa was throwing a little dinner party for a few of us. she hadnt broken out the fondue set in a while and with the holidays rapidly approaching who knows when we would all meet up again to dip our meats in her warm cheese.

for such a healthy lass she had cheese on pretty much every dish. there was a pre-fondue cheese plate, there was this fancy tiny plate with tomatoes and cheese, and then of course there was the actual fondue cheese of which we had delicious steak cubes, shrimp, and bread.

and wine for days.

our host has been in major detox mode for the past week and a half but couldnt resist having a few (dozen) glasses with her BFFs while Pandora shuffled on the tv.

ive noticed that wine has an extremely wide variety of reactions from people. some people get very happy, some get loving, some get freaked out, some start crying, and ive even seen some people – mostly girls – get oddly violent.

i get sleepy. so i drank sam adams’ oktoberfest brew, because i love america.

i pretty much love everything. even dumb things make me laugh. i think i laugh more than anyone youve ever met. im sure i laugh more than anyone ive ever met. maybe its because of the Cubs. compared to them everything is beautiful and lovely. for example da bears are 4-1 despite the worst backup qb in history.

the only thing that isnt beautiful and wonderful in my life is the cleanliness of my home and car and desk and mind. look at this room. most people look at this and say omg. which is what i say. omg wheres the stuff? the stuff is there. its just translucent.

secretly i think that karisa secretly threw the fondue party so she could wear her new six inch heels and tower over everyone.

when i throw a dinner party im gonna wear seven inch heels cuz secretly im extremely sad at all times. ps secretly nothing in here is true. i dont even know those people. only the dog.

but only in the eyes of God

first yoko ono lady gaga and friends blew my mind, then Black Lips were super fun last thursday

then of course monotonix delivered a performance i will never ever ever forget on saturday

but friday i found myself in the pit of the arcade fire. like most people i freakin adore them, ive seen them 3-4 times, and this was a great show. so great i got emotional a few times because it was so beautiful and spiritual and fun, and our “seats” couldnta been better. we were literally one person away from the stage.

my buddy todd martens went the night before and warned me that parking and traffic were crazy so we took the subway to alvarado and wilshire then took a cab to the show so we wouldnt have to spend hours looking for parking.

the ride was great. this dude from africa was listening to a radio minister and we talked about his sermon and laughed and laughed and praised the truest for saving afrique.

got to the show, what a beautiful venue. then the rock commenced and i know its hokey to talk about the concept of a Holy Spirit but if there is such a thing, it was alive, well, and gettin down at the arcade fire show.

the rich musicality of those canadian kids is amazing, and the fun they have, and the richness of the sound. these youngins somehow fluxuate between serious and childlike simultaneously. so fascinating.

then at the end bro jumped out into the stage and walked right into me. you can see it on the vid. we were so thrilled by the show that we walked about 4 miles to hollywood down vermont until we got tired. then we turned around, whistled for a cab, and bam got a cab. then had a tasty italian meal with wine and thanked the Lord above for blessing us so.

and i often thank him for you too, fyi.