theres very few people who i ask to take my photo with.
Peter Fang the owner and order-taker at my favorite chinese restaurant House of Nan King is on that short list

know why? cuz he doesnt f around. hes all business. he seems pissed but hes not. he has an empire to build, one dish at a time. its a small empire, now with two restaurants, but its an empire of quality and soul.

traditionalists poo poo the House but at 120pm in chinatown in san francisco theres only one place thats full, theres only one place where people are sitting shoulder to shoulder. theres only one place with no soy sauce on the tables or phony baloney chinese artifacts in every nook and cranny.

theres only Peter’s place. and its not expensive. tourists hear the word and when they go back they tell their friends about the best fried rice or soup or sweet potato chicken dish they had in the States and theyre talking about House of Nan King.

the only place in chinatown that sells a $20 tshirt and people, even me, buys it happily.

happy birs-day Peter said and it made me smile like someone who had just snorted MSG

and because of it the big man came to town

but i couldnt chill with him long cuz my truest bought us tix to frisco on virgin

but first we went to my favorite sushi place which turned down the lights and sang for me

got in to SFO got a shuttle from a long haired hippie freak playing whale songs and tom waits

checked into the hotel our room was horrible so i went down and said bro and he said oh and he stoked us

no like seriously from a closet of a room with no view to the best view ever and lots of room

took a quick shower, found a sweet freaky bar with a great view and drank

they played neil and all these groovy mellow tunes and we took it all in and smiled

found a liquor store, bought some bubbly and chocolates

ran into a taqueria and couldnt resist the 1:59am snack

now shes slipping into something uncomfortable and im counting my blessings, starting with you and you and you

we have one woman who creates the most delicious baked goods nearly every day

we have a boss who loves to buy donuts and cupcakes almost every week

we have a copy chief who loves to have the candy jar filled with snack sized candies

the photo desk loves to have savory treats all the time

various desks like my man Jevon often has a basket of tempting delectables

and then we have a fully staffed cafeteria thats open from morning to night.

not to mention a variety of eateries all throughout our central downtown location.

strangely ive been able to resist the “bad” stuff and lose 8 lbs over the last year.

but yesterday when i saw that cake and box of donuts i had to give in

and yes, i ate a donut.

and loved it.

and licked the napkin.

twice.

but i try

im not the handsomest or tallest.

i dont have the magicest mighty sword or fastest car.

but i have an internet connection and electricity and if teenage russian hackerboys have taught us anything its that sometimes thats all you need to make a difference.

sometimes i get low. im human. and sometimes i get very high. no comment.

i get high in the weirdest ways. i can watch a movie with a pretty girl or i can watch a simpsons episode all by my lonesome.

sometimes just the whiff of a eucalyptus will trigger a long lost memory and it will cause a grin from ear to ear, which heath ledger rip has shown can be quite scary.

and like his character because im somewhat insane i can be low and high sometimes in the same hour.

last night i came home, heated up some Just Chicken from trader joes, doused it with jack daniels bbq sauce and nuked a large bowl of Glory collard greens and turned on the macbook.

im a bachelor. thats as close to cooking as it gets in this house. in two days the maid will find it in my dresser drawer and wash it along with the other dishes strewn about this home.

anyways im not a smart man. so once i turned on the computer i went from hyperlink to hyperlink and saw an old story of CNNs Rick Sanchez being fired and noticed his Twitter handle.

so i typed it in to see if he had kept tweeting or if he was on some drunken vacation on some isle drinking away his sorrows. and alas he was indeed tweeting!

mostly he was thanking his fans for their support and typing hokey sayings.

and then i got to his “motto” and america, i was stumped.

my motto: two wolves; one is angry and filled w self pity. the other is forgiving and loving. which wins? the one i feed. cherokee proverb

i had no idea what he means.

how is that a motto?

why not feed both wolves?

wouldnt the hungry wolf, who i imagine is the angry one, eat Rick Sanchez cuz hes, you know, STARVING and angry?

wouldnt the forgiving and loving one be the one Not to feed cuz he would be all, “its cool Rick, youre one of the millions of unemployed, i know why you didnt feed me, plus if you had fed me i woulda given it over to Grumpy McAngry over there cuz he woulda just ripped my neck off while i slept anyhow.”

the whole thing confused the heck out of me and made me sad.

so i ate my chicken and greens and watched the simpsons

and now i will fall asleep.

‘nite moon.

because if they really did read the broadsheet they would have been hardpressed to do anything other than smile at this genius headline by the Sports desk this morning celebrating the accomplishment of SF Giants pitcher Matt Cain who held the defending champion Phillies to just 2 hits over 7 innings yesterday.

i still think the sports page is worth the cost of the paper alone, simply for the headlines and great writing.

who needs an NFL Team

(to quote Apu “i doooooooooooooooooo”)

but today LA Times columnist Steve Lopez wrote about his very unique experience of being given (along with KABC radio host Peter Tilman) two different strains of marijuana by the LAPD and City Attorney Carmen Trutanich.

and then given the keys of an undercover cop car

and then allowed to drive a pretty interesting obstacle course

to see if smoking weed impairs your driving.

the results? a lot of laughing and an unending amount of jokes in today’s Page 2 column

a sample of “He’s a Train Wreck behind the wheel”

A few hits later, I suggested to Tilden that we roll a vehicle, come out holding our necks, sue everyone and retire, but that was the dope talking. Tilden had forgotten his rolling papers, so I gave him my Bob Marley wrappers and Officer Leffert expertly rolled a fat one for him.

“What are you, Rastafarian?” Tilden asked the officer. “Look at the size of that blunt.”

One of us, after several strong hits on a second joint, was now giggling like a high school sophomore, and it wasn’t Tilden or the cops. I believe Train Wreck may be from the sativa rather than indica species of pot. Sativa is said to give you a spacey surge instead of a drowsy body buzz. This could explain why, when I saw southern division CHP commander Kevin Gordon approaching to see if we were ripped yet, I stood on one foot for him, as if taking a sobriety test while puffing away and laughing like a hyena.

“Are you having fun?” asked Nelms, the drug recognition expert.

What, is that a crime, officer?

When we were driven back down the hill and I slid into an unmarked Crown Vic for my driving test, I couldn’t resist the urge to play a little prank. I revved the engine, shifted into forward and jerked forward in the direction of the gathering, honking the horn like a lunatic as Trutanich and the others prepared to scatter.

Read the whole thing, as they say, it’s fascinating, funny, and weirdly scientific.

Can’t wait for the faux outrage in the comments and the blogosphere.

because the former EBay CEO’s spokesperson linked to him yesterday and hasnt fixed her error.

heres my headline.

Nearly a full day later, Meg Whitman’s spokeswoman is still linking to cross-dressing Korean bass player

but you really have to read and see the whole story

greatest university of all

i was torn between going to UCSB and UCLA when i was a gas station attendant in Beverly Hills

id ask people with UCLA stickers or parking passes what they thought of that school and theyd say oh its great. have fun!

id ask customers with UCSB license plate covers and bumper stickers what they thought of being a Gaucho and theyd be all

O M G!

and theyd tell me where to live and where to eat and what to do and where to party and how to party and what teachers were awesome and on and on and on

so i visited the campus and wasnt that impressed because it was foggy that day and gloomy and i didnt notice how close to the beach i was

so since i was transferring in and i knew i had the prereqs completed for both schools i just said f-it, the first one that writes me to accept me gets me.

the first letter i got was from UCLA

it said Dear Bruin…

and i was all damn, i wonder if thats what Kareem’s letter looked like.

the next day i got one from UCSB that said Dear Gaucho

it didnt really give me the same thrill.

but this is what won me over: for some reason i had to call the school and the person was soooooo nice, and it reminded me of that spirit that i remembered from all its alums

also, and i swear this is true, i thought “oh santa barbara, its further away from the craziness of LA, i bet it would be easier to study there.”

so i took the plunge on UCSB.

best decision ive ever ever ever ever made.

second best? making the busblog.

shes from jersey. a fact shes fed up with nowadays

can I just say that I cant stand when people
ask me Jersey Shore questions.
It really really pisses me off.
I am gonna say I am from New York.

poor girl

send your san diego blondie some ESP love

in 1906

a fixed movie camera was set up on the front of the F Market cable car.

automobiles circle the old street car to give the illusion of a lot of traffic and modern vehicles on Market street (there were less than 1,000 cars in all of the USA at the time).

sad thing about this footage? days after it was filmed the Great San Francisco Earthquake destroyed the city, demolishing all of the buildings you see, and killing many of the dashing people on your screen.

the reason we even have this footage is it was shipped out East the day before the quake struck.

so whats the lesson?

Live.

Live your life.

Your life.

quit pretending that we have 20 years to achieve our dreams or 5 years to get what we want.

we have 1 moment, this moment. dont bother yourself with mediocrity. dont bitch and moan with people who dont get you. step to the left and live your life of freedom and joy and love and respect.

hate yr job? quit it. bored with the person you make out with? knock it off. settling with people who are ok but hold you back? move forward.

we have no one to blame for our misery other than ourselves.

learn from the dead of Market Street. and live.