people ask me a lot about the xbi.

i dont blame them.

xbi is a cool place. theyve taken care of me. i cant complain.

i could but i wouldnt. i never bitch about the people who pay me. not even on the job.

i have a weird belief that whatever you think or say comes out and multiplies so i try to keep things positive.

recently they moved us all around. took our desks and mixed them up. i think the gunfight had something to do with it.

typically a gunfight is a good red flag to management that the fellas need a new change of scenery. and since i was involved in the gunplay and because i am generally considered one of the most even-keeled members of the agency, when they saw that i had completely emptied my sidearm they knew that things should change.

so this is my new desk. maybe. we’re seriously not supposed to talk about anything surrounding the xbi anywhere, especially not on a web site. especially not on an occassionally busy web site.

i like my new desk. which might be mine. im hardly ever at it because im usually flying chopper one, and thats why my area is fairly clean, but its nice on rainy days or mondays to sit there and look out at the people eating and smoking and think about what else i could be doing in my life and usually the list includes either flipping burgers or selling oranges on the medians next to the 10.

i dont have a lot of toys on my desk, but to the right of my computer you can see my sammy bobblehead, which really isnt a bobblehead its just a figurine.

if anyone wants to send me a sammy bobble head (or more importantly, a harry caray bobblehead) you can send it to: Pierce, 4845 Fountain Ave. #15, Hollywood, CA 90029.

if what you send me is super cool i will take a picture, cuz they last longer.

the best gift that you can give me is your loyal readership, and your sworn secrecy that you wont run around and blab to the world that you have stumbled across what might be the only photographic evidence of the inside of xbi hq.

now please let me get back to corking my keyboard.



one day in the us + kool keith + sarah crabtree + the ward

hi month of gemini

you wicked witch from the west.

look what youve done to my beautiful wife. look what youve done to my beautiful house.

some bad guys wanted to send a message to some other bad guys this morning so they took a crane and tipped it over onto a bank.

people thought the bank was empty but there was something in the bank.

i cant tell you exactly what was in the bank because maybe the xbi was involved. indirectly.

maybe it was an accident. if you believe in accidents.

we dont.

which is why we dont believe that sammy sosa in the middle of his home run slump picked the only bat out of 75 bats with his name on it that had cork in it.

which is why if i was commissioner of baseball i would defrock him, expose him, and draw the line of offensive behavior in this, our national pastime.

judge landis and happy chandler are drinking in their graves.

meanwhile where is the commissioner of baseball? the king of black eyes. why isnt he xraying all the bats in baseball right now. or cutting them in half or drilling into them.

baseball has finally come back after years of suffering and over the last few years there has just been one disgrace after another. and yes it bothers me and it hurts me as much as a crane falling upon my heart.

the commissioner needs to resign right now.

the new york times upon discovering that they had two rotten apples, got rid of the apples and today got rid of some of their top editors.

this year my man is corking his bat and roberto alomar is getting a hair cut in the bullpen while his manager is looking around the bench to have him pinch hit.

and chip caray is still broadcasting.

and the yankees are still getting away with murder.

and the commissioner’s daughter is still running a team.

things are falling apart and you have no idea how i wish that i could get away with doing such a crappy job at my place of employment the way bud selig gets to just cruise around at his.

i’d suspend sammy for three months and fine him millions.

madmathias + steve czaben + bettie girl