the kids of the world are always asking my advice on things.

and before you ask, no, thats not punk rock.

not only that but it would make me not want to go to that alleged pizzeria.

im sorry but i do not want my punkers being human billboards for middle of the road consumerism.

do you?

i live in one of the hotbeds of counterculturalism and the punk rockers are pretty scarce, i dont want them dressed up as subway sandwiches, i dont want them selling batteries out of baby carriages, i dont want to see them passing out free samples of breath mints.

i want them where theyre supposed to be: sitting on their asses, with their hands out, in cute little groups, dressing better than i ever will in a million years.

has this planet completely lost its mind?

once again, i must blame the president.

if the economy was better these kids would be getting handouts from the young and olde alike, obviously noone has any codder for me brotha and now look what you have.

why doesnt nike just have him wear a tshirt that says nike on it?

why doesnt someone give him ten bucks to mow their lawn?

why doesnt abecrombie and fuck just get him a cute little office and a window and a laptop and make him vice president of suck my nuts – it’s all equally wrong and ridiculous.

and good pizzerias dont need to advertise – with signs!

no i dont want to buy a slice from some well meaning bleeding heart who is taking the rock right out of punk by bribing the kids with what they so love: attention and greasey cheese.

im not someone who you’d consider a hisser.

sometimes i’ll be at the pictures and a preview of a bad movie will come on and when its over some in the crowd will hiss.

it usually catches me by suprise, but when it happens i can often see their point.

if i passed by a punker with a placard i would not only hiss but id spraypaint sellout on his pants. look how clean that fuckers pants are.

obviously this man dresses this way to attract girls and congratulations, melvin, youve got your girl. but youve sold out on an ideal that goes back to the 20th century. maybe even further.

punk rock is about eating pizza from a dumpster or stealing it from a yuppie, certainly not earning it you tweaking tard.

its all that radiohead youre listening to. makes you soft.

if youre going to sell out, do it in a big way. not for a slice of za, a big cup of mountain dew and a few bucks.

extra cheese on that mothafucka and shit.

you can only sell your soul a few times, punk rockers.

make it count

and quit being so boring.

instapundit + bukkake + 44 days until her 17th birthday + mr. doc searls of santa barbara

in order to mourn this day

which basart reminds us is the anniversary of the day that Tribune Corp. bought the Cubs from the Wrigley family for a paltry $20.5 million back in 1981 (back when $20.5 million was a lot of money), this will be my last post of the day.

but not before we get this in:

fuck you, Tribune Corp.

from your whiny announcers, to weak infielders, to your general ignorance of all things baseball i raise my middle fingers to your ivory towers and i wish monkeypox onto your most private of areas.

you took a national landmark, a local treasure, a sports jewel and you have wiped your dirty ass with it.

yes the cubs are good right now due to some timely hitting and a handful of young pitchers – pitchers that cost you a million or two, tops.

yes you got us the best manager in baseball after the frisco giants showed him to the door. leftovers. good leftovers, but leftovers none the less. still, thank you. you coulda fucked that up. but you didn’t. a gift landed in your lap and you didn’t squash it. nice work.

but you have done very little else for the cubs in the 23 years that you have slumlorded over my favorite team and for that i curse you and the things you hold dear.

i would say more rude things but my mommys on vacation this week and i understand that she might be reading this post especially since she too loves the cubs and wrigley field.

die you motherfuckers, die.

if you want a baseball team to have as a playtoy, go buy the sox. give the Cubs back to the people. the people deserve better.

how can you let a big fat windbag like George Steinbrenner just cherry pick the planet for the latest stars while you sit around counting your gazillions as the Cubs flounder and the little northside kids weep?

why would you want to do that?

alex gonzales and his clutch home runs helped the Cubs start off the season with some great late-inning wins. but in the last month he is barely hitting .214.

want to do something for the city of chicago? trade him for Miguel Tejada. right now. those dumbass A’s will go for it, and guess what, the Yankees have an all-star shortstop And an all-star second baseman, so this will get you half way there. dumbasses.

god i hate you.

while youre at it trade Mark Bellhorn, Kyle Farnsworth, and Juan Cruz for Frank Catalanotto and Kelvim Escobar. the blue jays don’t know what on earth they’re doing and they’ll be shocked that the cubs are giving up two fresh arms for one.

but this is our chance. this is our season. its now or never. especially the way you seem intent on burning out the arms of mark prior and kerry wood.

do this and i wont hate you.

as much.

perfect gallows + mad pony + crispy duck

im sure you will be suprised to learn

that im totally against arresting female streakers.

i say let em streak. what could happen? the could get leered at? isnt that what they want?

now male streakers, i say we arrest them. it’s not right.

maybe there should be some on-the-spot public declaration of male streakers. perhaps once the authorities apprehend the man, the cop can put his hand over the man’s head and the audience can either boo or cheer. get enough cheers and the man will be let free to run around until he’s punched by a drunkard.

im not a fan of streakers who are advertising web sites. especially super hot women who plaster the busblog’s address all over their bodies.

57. dawn

being naked and free is one thing, but being a human billboard is another.

save that for nascar racers and bicyclists.

if you want to advertise on yourself and get peoples attention, just wear wet tshirts or see through clothes. duh.

have i told you that im addicted to Friendster?

i didnt know what it was at first, but this weekend i totally got into it and now im hooked.

i have over 69,500 people in my network.

when i pare it down to just hot chicks that live in la who are between 25-35 who want to date men i get 366 young ladies who may or may not know the 13 “friends” that i really do have.

69k people in my network after only a few days of clicking.

very strange. but very cool.

keep your eyes open, i have a feeling that Friendster will take off and do something very interesting. especially since theyre just in their beta.

eric olsen writing about metallica for msnbc + doktor frank + rabbit + new front page