theyve got the strongman competition going on in one of my monitors

first they had a guy dragging a huge ship anchor and chain across sand. now some dude is pulling a semi truck across a parking lot.

even the ladies at the xbi like the strongman competition which is broadcast on espn every morning.

someone just said in my ear that game one of the stanley cup finals got the same ratings as the womens college softball world series. i think america is saying fuck puck.

we like trees but they dont do anything.

nothing other than convert carbon dioxide into oxygen and give birds and bugs and vermin nice little homes in which to live.

i walk past this very large church to the subway each day. the church has a large congregation and lots of volunteers. i dont judge whatever they pray about in their church but i do judge their groundskeeping.

to have so many volunteers they sure have a lot of weeds and ugly plants.

have pretty plants spiritual people.

im not sexist, but i have found myself not liking the rides given by the female subway drivers.

and i miss the goodmorning goodmorning goodmorning subway man. what happened to him?

he’d say things like wilshire/western this is our final stop, please make sure to take all your personal belongings, cell phones, bags, purses, coats with you. and remember youre all kings and queens. have a beautiful day.

wheres that guy?

instead i get these women who brake too hard and who always seem suprised that the normandie stop is after the vermont stop.

theres always this, next stop is…. normandie.

why the pause, ladies?

every time you leave vermont station the normandie station will be there.

also they only tell you that this is the wilshire/western train after they close the doors and head off.

its ok to tell the people before you close the doors. infact tell them a few times and tell them the north hollywood train will come in a few minutes.

im looking at the wind blow the trees.

today we’re flying over venice. some gang shit. we’re about to steal a bunch of leather furniture after we make our “citizens arrests”.

im giving mine to the poor.

i already have furniture.

i played the lotto yesterday even though the odds are against me.

they say you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning. so i figure if you want to get hit by lightning go outside in a storm.

similiarly if you want to get a couple million dollars and travel around and write about it may as well get some lottery tickets.

the gang members dont seem to be at home.

someone wants to go into their warehouse anyway but im telling them that it might be a trap.

so now someone is singing “… caught in a trap, and i cant get back

cuz i love you too much baby.”

oh shit, now everyone is singing and laughing

“We can’t go on together

With suspicious minds…”

crazy thing is some of these people are about to start shooting at people.

like at any minute.

bitchen photo essay from the dells+ wKen + sumo-pop + allison

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