i do. its monday im im just recovered from the party that two of my xloves arranged beautifully. i didnt really want a rager but i didnt want a few people looking at each other saying yep well. for some reason i always fear that no one will show up since i hardly ever go out to their bashes. but my friends are the best.

lots of great people showed up including a friend of john woo’s who could open a bottle of beer with anything. i saw him use a double a battery, a pair of sunglasses, a pitchfork, an empty bottle, a disposable razor, the kitchen sink, a butcher knife, a plastic bottle of perscription drugs, an ipod, a picture frame, and a cordless phone.

he only failed with the macaroni, and the hangnail.

there were many beautiful ladies present including one who took me aside and gave me a birthday card that said, “… remember that the busblog can do things that no other blog can do, and thats tapdance across all subjects from religion to poetry to baseball to orgies from politics to shopaholics to howard stern to punk rock…”

later, the original tenant of my apartment, shira, gave me a huge bottle of gin. huge. im thinking of drinking it while putting together blook ii for your ass.

i think bonnie and charlie gave me brian wilson’s smile but at that point i was pretty sloshed and am only listening to it now. but i love it!

mc brown made me a cd, got me the mean girls soundtrack and gave me a playstation 2 game. on the cd that he put together is a song called “titties and asses” by some hip hop guy thats so funny that chris stole it from me.

i also got some laker tickets. gracias.

i have so many bottles of wine now that now i need to have another party to get rid of it.

or i could just drink it and write to the cuban american girl who when she left everyone said, tony you fucked up on that one. you need to get her back.

saturday we drove up the coast to neptunes net in malibu. it was a perfect day. funny thing about neptunes net. for some reason they dont have real toilets. they have portapotties outside with this little shelter built around them. then you come out and you have to push the pump to get water to dribble out and work at the soap dispenser while realizing how many people with portapotty shit hands have put their fingers up that soap thing and failed at getting any soap too.

fortunately theres another sink inside the patio where everyones eating huge shrimp with their hands.

fresh jumbo shrimp and i do mean jumbo goes for $17 a pound. the guy scoops it into a steel bowl for ya, you hand over the money and another guy dumps it into a thing of boiling water. same goes if you point at the $20 a pound lobster or $18 a pound crab squirming around in the tanks of water.

we also got a pint of clam chowder because i cannot resist a bowl of clam chowder.

then you go into the antestore which has fried seafood, sodas and beers. because its sortof a biker hang out (although mostly a surfer place) neptunes net has some of the finest selections of 24 ounce tall boy cans of beers.

perfect for when youre about to drive back down the 27 miles of coastal highway of malibu.

ah neptunes net one of my favorite establishments in the world.

tyranny + dick shagwell + the deputy + anti

an endorsement to a presidential candidate, but first i want to give credit to the republican party

who waved their hand in front of the face of america and said

you will forget about that prison in iraq

you will even forget the reasons we told you why we should go there.

you dont care about bush’s missing military records, you dont care that he was hiding out to avoid failing a drug test, you dont care that he was the slipperly little cunt thirty years ago that he is today

you dont care about the deficit, or that your kids – your little angels that you protect from janet jacksons nipple – will have to try to pay it off.

you dont care that the price of gasoline for a normal car has gone up $10 a tankful, not just 40 cents a gallon, as saying gasoline rose 40 cents a gallon is like saying the price of m&ms went up a penny an m.

you will just sit there and pretend that, seriously, bush can bring democracy and freedom to iraq, but has absolutely no influence on gasoline prices, and its just a really unlucky coincidence that gasoline prices jumped when he got in office and stayed up there and have only risen over the last few months of his term.

you dont care that we’re short two world trade centers, several thousand innocent americans, and the nerve to look saudi arabia directly in the eye and say hand over bin laden or else.

you dont care that there are fewer jobs today than four years ago

you dont care that they found no weapons of mass destruction, that iraq hadnt been making any for over a decade, or that waging war for no good reason is slightly worse than getting blown in the oval office

you dont care that the president is a retard, and a pussy, and a dumbass, and a bumblefuck

you dont care that the vice president knows less about the internet than he does about when he met john edwards, and not only do you not care that he tried to pull a constitutional cockblock on the most important lesbian in his life – his daughter – but you will be more outraged if kerry or edwards mentions the fact that she likes the ladies

you dont care that the president didnt want the 9/11 commision, you dont care that he tried to get kissinger to head it, you dont care that the president didnt want to testify under oath, or testify alone. you dont care that he tried to stop condi rice from testifying. you dont care that he was successful in keeping private his testimony, and you wont consider him a slippery little prick who obviously has something to hide.

you dont care that he read that goat book after learning that the nation was under attack, you dont care that by sitting in that classroom he was putting those kids at risk as a plane could have been headed at whereever the president was, you dont care that many will wish him re-elected because hes so fucking “strong” even though we all see what hes like under pressure and its so sad you almost want to feel sorry for him until you remember that he couldnt give a flying fuck about your lame ass because you dont belong to upper one percent and at this rate you never will

the fact that this race is even close is a testament to the republican party who took the pathetic mound of shit that they were handed and convinced everyone that it was gourmet free-range fertilizer absolutely necessary for a prosperous future.

theyve made scaring the public trendy and being a pussy ass bitch cool.

therefore im voting for nader, who hasnt flip flopped, has stayed the course, and no matter what you think couldnt do worse than the fucktard we’ve been patient with for the last four years.

inspired by abu aardvark + and miniver cheevy + tell welch who your man is

thats right, your favorite online magazine is back.

halloween 2004 lickmagazine.com will be back with an Election issue written by you, the ladies of the internet.

please send your thoughts, essays, insights to sexdrugsrock@gmail.com by Noon on Tuesday 10/26

gentlemen, many of you have offered to contribute to Lick, but it is a magazine written entirely by women.

in this issue only, because it’s so special,

you may contribute.

but not with your words,

but with your pictures.

do not send these pictures though. email the url where the picture resides.

hey tone, heres a pic for lick: http://www.lickmagazine.com/images/issue2/newlickcover.jpg

(prefered size 1028 x 764ish)

deadline for pictures is also noon tuesday.

the best pictures and screeds will be presented at lickmagazine.com

AND NOW BACK TO CAPS LOCK DAY.

WHOOOO HOOOOO!!!

LICK #1 + LICK #2 + you will be anonymous

Taken_Hot_Chick: Happy Birthday!

ALLCAPSDAY!: thank you!

ALLCAPSDAY!: come over for lunch ;0

Taken_Hot_Chick: you’re home!

ALLCAPSDAY!: am!

Taken_Hot_Chick: wow, is your mom there?

ALLCAPSDAY!: later today

Taken_Hot_Chick: cool

Taken_Hot_Chick: so what is the plan for tonight?

ALLCAPSDAY!: you, me, the alley

Taken_Hot_Chick: stop

Taken_Hot_Chick: now, try again

ALLCAPSDAY!: me, you, the side of a van

Taken_Hot_Chick: TONY!

Taken_Hot_Chick: will there be a party or what?!

ALLCAPSDAY!: i posted it on my blog, so of course

Taken_Hot_Chick: when where

ALLCAPSDAY!: my house 9

Taken_Hot_Chick: you better not be lying, there better be people there when I get there!

ALLCAPSDAY!: im telling you i posted it on my blog

Taken_Hot_Chick: ok, time for luncch

Taken_Hot_Chick: ttyl

ALLCAPSDAY!: i’ll be in the shower

Taken_Hot_Chick: Did you get the pizza last night?

ALLCAPSDAY!: omg that was classic. me and anna had just come back from dinner but after the movie suddenly we had the munchies and it was perfect.

Taken_Hot_Chick: see you tonight

Taken_Hot_Chick is idle at 12:44:30 PM.

DOC SEARLS RIPS INTO MICHAEL POWELL! + VIA JEFF JARVIS + 94 REASONS NOT TO VOTE FER BUSH + SYLKK

FLAGRANT’S BACK!

AND SHE POSTED *AND* BUSTED WITH A PHOTO ESSAY!

WITNESS:

few photographs i shot this last week in burma are here.

my vacation was absolutely perfect except for one blunder. after a sleepless night in yangon with time spent in the dim worrying whether the arrest of the burmese prime minister would immediately unravel the country’s banking and transportation infrastructure, i subsequently had a strenuous day flying out of myanmar… add another sleepless and rushed night in thailand, 110 mile an hour 3:30am cab ride to the airport, seven hour flight from bangkok to tokyo, a super boring four hour typhoon related delay at narita, and then a nine hour leg swelling connection to the usa, i was supposed to remain alert enough to use an 11 hour layover in portland to go house hunting- but i neglected to bring my driver’s license with me.

specifically, it had been left at home as unnecessary with only the potential to get lost or stolen in asia. an ocean of emotions followed, how could i be so forgetful, and what a wasted trip, but the truth is that the layover in portland never increased my airfare so nothing was truly lost.

“but even if i have used your company before and am in the system, do i still need the actual document to rent a car from you or is my id number good enough? i have a passport for identification and the credit card used to make the reservation.”

“nope,” said the telephone agent. “sorry.”

how i was to now spend 11 hours in the chilly portland rain without a car, and without walking for hours in the weather (in sandals/cropped pants) was definitely an issue.

NEXT TO THE ROUGUE CHEDDAR DOUBLE CD, Smelly Recollections Vol. 1: 1989-1991, THAT DARRYL SWEET SENT ME (OMG), I CAN’T THINK OF A BETTER PRESENT THAN A FOREIGN LAND PHOTO ESSAY!

REMEMBER THE CLASSIC RC TUNE “SMELLY SHOES“

OR THE INSTRUMENTAL MASTERPEICE “BREATHING“? (I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GREAT TV SHOW THEME SONG OR PERFECT IN PULP FICTION II)

RAYMI + LITTLE SPANISH EDDIE + THE FINEST MUSIC VIDEO SLIDESHOW YOU’LL SEE TODAY + RASPIL

IS YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THATS GOING TO HAPPEN. NAMELY SUPRISE PARTIES. OVERHEARD THESE TWO AGENTS ESPING EACH OTHER.

GOING TO TONYS PARTY?

NICE.

ANNA WASNT MAD. I WASNT NEITHER.

LAST NIGHT WE STARTED A LITTLE FIRE IN THE FIREPLACE AS IT WAS UNSEASONABLY COLD.

BUT ANNAS SO SWEET SHE SAID THAT THE LORD WAS GIVING LA A COLD SHOWER BEFORE MY MOM CAME OUT.

YOU WOULDNT THINK IT BUT ANNA ACTUALLY HAS A LOT IN COMMON WITH MY MOM, THEY CAN BOTH TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER FOR HOURS.

I THINK SOME PEOPLE ARE WEATHER PEOPLE. MY MAN TRAVIS K CAN WATCH THE WEATHER CHANNEL ALL DAY. LOVES IT. WHEN THOSE HURRICANES WERE HITTING FLORIDA IT WAS HIS SUPER BOWL. I WAS ALL GET THAT SHIT OFF UNTIL I SEE SOME PEOPLE GOING SIDEWAYS. TO ME THAT SHOULD BE THE ONLY TELEVISED WEATHER BESIDES FLOODS. EVEN FIRES CAN GROW TIRESOME. BUT PEOPLE TRYING TO LALALA WALK ACROSS THE STREET DURING A HURRICANE IS GOLD. MORE PLEASE.

IVE ALSO NOTICED A SHARP DECLINE IN TELEVISED LA CAR CHASES. USED TO BE A TIME WHEN A MAN COULD SIT DOWN AND FLIP AROUND THE IDIOT BOX AND YEP THERES A NICE COP CAR CHASE OF SOME FOOL WHO KEEPS CIRCLING HIS LAME NEIGHBORHOOD.

IVE SEEN GOOD COP CAR CHASE TECHNIQUES AND BAD ONES.

THE WORST ONE THAT I SEE ALL THE TIME IS WHEN THE COPS KNOW THAT THE DUDE IS GOING TO GO BACK TO HIS NEIGHBORHOOD – BECAUSE HE’S DONE IT 8 TIMES ALREADY – AND CIRCLE THE SAME BLOCK AND THEN SHOOT OUT ONTO THE FREEWAY, ONLY TO RETURN 10 MINUTES LATER.

THE COPS WILL JUST FOLLOW HIM. TEN COPS LIKE ITS A PARADE. AND HE’S GO DOWN THESE NARROW STREETS WITH CARS PARKED ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. AND I ALWAYS WONDERED, WHY WOULDNT THEY HAVE TWO OF THE CARS DOUBLE BACK AND SET UP A COP CAR BARRICADE IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF THOSE NARROW STREETS THAT HES ABOUT GO DO DOWN FOR THE NINTH TIME? IF THE DUDE SEES IT ITS NOT LIKE HE CAN TURN AROUND. THERES NO ROOM.

THE BEST TECHNIQUE WAS WHEN THE COPS JUST STOPPED CHASING HIM. THE FELL OFF AND LET THE NEWS CHOPPERS FOLLOW HIM. THEY WATCHED IT ON TV, KEEPING THEIR DISTANCE. THEY TURNED OFF THEIR SIRENS AND FLASHY LIGHTS AND JUST WAITED FOR THE DUDE TO RUN OUT OF GAS, WHICH HE DID. AND THEN THEY GOT HIM CUZ THEY WERE CLOSER THAN ANYONE THOUGHT.

SO IF YOU HAVE BEEN TO MY PLACE BEFORE, YOU’RE INVITED. IF YOU NEED THE ADDRESS, EMAIL BUSBLOG@YAHOO.COM

IM RUNNIN WITH SCISSORS!

XTX + PSYCHOTIC NORMALCY + THIRD DECK + ASHMAN + JOSH

CAPS LOCK DAY!!!

THE IRONY IS BLOWING MY FUCKING MIND!

ANNIKA + TIFFANY + HIT & RUN

Howdy. I’m honored you stopped by Whiskey Tango. I was going to do this in the comments, but it just got too long.

I gave you props in a previous post and in your comment you asked about “the letter idea.” One example I came across was your “Dear Avril” letter.

I found a letter to the NHL to be a good way to express my anger and frustration with the players’ union and owners.

I read your blog several times each day. I very much enjoy the personality of your writing voice. Your perspective on the different goings-on in our world lets me share a glimpse of life through the eyes of another.

The Busblog is great and inspired me to start Whiskey Tango. I learned about many of the sites I view on a daily basis from you. Raymi and Anti crack my shit up. And you know some really smart mofos with very informed opinions about many of the complicated issues in politics today.

So I hope you don’t mind that I copped a writing device from you.

And thank you. For the Busblog. For the photo essays. For sharing little bits of all the wonderful people in your life (Karisa, Tsar, et. al.) For giving LA a voice. For all the great links. For inspiring me to start documenting my inconsequential life.

Best,

D–

dear eddie van halen + dear the pope + dear kids of afghanistan + dear diary + dear amazon.com + dear michael jackson + dear God + dear la times