and by kids i dont mean drank beer with the kids last night

i mean, actual children.

midget-like creatures.

then we ran into friends who had babies inside of them (pictured)and i swear i wasnt trying to set that picture up,

in fact i recognized laura and bonnie from behind and i was all, oh great lets get a picture of laura and bonnie, and then they turned around and i was all, oh yah, i forgot. duh.

lots of my friends were there. lots of singing and drinking and eating and yapping.

someone had brought a bottle of russian vodka that looked nice and old timey. i put my bottle of rum down and made greyhounds all night.

i ate kentucky ham sandwiches and i put little squares of cheese in there and hot mustard

and someone came around with sugar coated nuts.

easy.

i got to talk to some people i hadnt seen in quite a while, i met some nice new people, and i got to hang with my friends who i have known for so long and yet we hardly get together much any more.

around midnight our hosts, kim, my laywer, and os, the host of this blog, stood up in the middle of the room, and announced that they were announcing a date.

everyone gasped.

everyone was so excited.

and then os said, yes, on june second we will be expecting the birth of our baby.

incredible.

then the guitars came out and everyone started singing some more.

solomon was so happy he sang “autumn” even though it aint autumn out there.

greg and molli drove me home and molli told me a little story about their two year old who said the sweetest thing that morn

and molli misted up a tad.

very sweet.

i have the best friends.

drunken pictures + vaine + nothing special + os and kim

kurt cobain was downstairs watching a cockfight. i had just played a pinball machine that helped me tie up loose ends via some esp bullshit that allowed angels to read my mind and do whatever dirty deeds i hadn’t been able to complete before my untimely demise blah blah blah.

upon completion i got a high five from kurt, which i believe might just had been his very first high five ever, and i was escorted upstairs by

twin japanese catholic school runaways

with tattoos and wicked smiles on their faces.

the room we entered was perfumed and pink and soft and in the center was a round bed that rotated ever so slowly. mirrors everywhere, disco ball, disco music, fog machine, bubble machine, porn on twenty thirteen-inch tvs and shag carpet on the walls on the floors on the ceilings.

only rugs in the place, if you know what i mean.

the twins spoke simultaneously. one stroked my fro the other rubbed my feet. i reclined on the bed as they disrobed me and complimented my dull dough.

we like little bellies.

ooooooooooh we really like scars. that’s right you were in the xbi.

they were visually excited. cheeks flushed, nipples poking out from sheer nasty brasseries. they had garters with bows, chokers with leashes, thigh high boots, glitter, lip gloss, lust.

i was floating inches above the bed as were they so they strapped me down. and told me this.

this is the bonus round. welcome to the bonus round. here is the question, a question that you should know the answer to, and for each correct response, from out of that door will enter a woman, one more beautiful than the next, one more sultry and intelligent and wild and soothing. trust us when we tell you that you will love every moment with every woman and you will be able to have each of them all at the same time.

all we need to know from you is for you to name each of the ten commandments. for each one you get right, a woman will join us.

ah heaven, i said.

the one above fed me grapes. on earth i never liked grapes. in this room i loved them, the juices dripped down my cheek.

thou shalt not steal, i said.

a redhead with long legs, red all over, black stockings, high heels entered.

thall shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain.

blonde, blonde, white stockings, pink trim, white shoes, perky boobs, baby doll tshirt that said busblog preshrunk so as to allow her bellybutton to peek under.

was that a diamond in her belly pierce? of course it was.

honor your mother and father, keep the sabbath holy.

two punk rock girls crawled in like cats. one had dyed pink hair, the other dyed red. they made out with each other. their stockings were torn, their leather miniskirts shined in the flashing lights. they rolled around. they bit. they drew blood. they licked the blood and looked at me. i said hi. they growled.

don’t lust after your neighbor.

the twins looked at each other. a bell rang. the judges had accepted the answer.

a woman who looked just like lindsey lohan but not really walked through the door. she had on a long white fur. full length. diamond choker. she opened her coat. nearly blinded us all. whitest woman around. looked like a statue. gorgeous.

thou shalt not kill.

skaterchick with ripped jeans and a tight baseball shirt ollied over the writhing punkers and told me she read my blog every damn day.

have no other gods than the Lord

a lightskinned black woman who looked like a young mariah carey entered in a pink bikini. she sang like an angel. she told me that she would lick my entire body. i thanked her for the offer and said,

thou shalt not commit adultery.

and a woman who looked like a black Princess Diana appeared. sounded like her too. quite.

i counted nine girls. what could the tenth be?

the asian princesses told me that if i got this one right that i could spend the entire day with all of the women and unlike on earth there would be no “down time” and gazed down at little tone which had never looked so majestic and wonderful.

the women who had lined up for me couldn’t stand still. they all wanted me so badly. they whispered some of the poems i had written and touched themselves. some touched each other.

for the life of me i couldn’t remember the last one.

and then, i said,

do not bear false witness upon your neighbor.

and they came charging at me, and trailing the pack, was a woman who looked just like an old marilyn monroe, who, when she entered floated slowly past the others and landed next to me and kissed me right on the forehead.

and unlatched my restraints.

instapundit + tim blair + ken layne

i do.

did you know that the busblog got more hits and visitors last month than ever before?

true.

infact january of 2004 i had about half of what i got in november.

yes some of it had to do with the elections. the days before the elections and the day after were the biggest spikes of the month, but lots of you hung in there with me.

thank you!

and now youre hanging in there with meas i hype my book and i appreciate your patience, and out of that appreciation i will make a deal with you.

we have sold 41 copies of how to blog.

the goal is 100.

i sold 100 of the original Blook two years ago, way before i had all the traffic that i have now.

i dont think it’s wrong to expect at least that sort of sell-thru now. do you?

first of all this blook actually looks like a book and not a college reader. secondly the writing in this collection is so much better. sheesh.

thirdly, you get the entire trip into hell with kurdt kobain. thats pretty much the price of the book alone, if you ask me. simply for the fact that nobody else went to hell with a famous grunge star And blogged about it FROM hell itself.

not even our pal the instapundit did that.

now heres the deal, once the 100th book is sold, i will feel complete and i wont hype it any more. sure, maybe i will still have the ad for it in the left hand side but no more hard sell, like this, if you call this a hard sell.

one more thing. people have been writing me, pleading that i work out some way that i can provide autographed copies. if you desperately need an autographed copy and you refuse to get a book unless it has my signature… fine.

email me at busblog at gmail and i will write you back with the terms. count on paying something like twenty five bucks plus shipping. and i will do my best to get it to your recipiant by christmas, but i suck at mailing things.

ok are we cool?

hope so.

once again the point of all of this was to thank you for your support all year.

like jay z said, you could be anywhere in the world and youre here, and i appreciate that.

and out of that appreciation i put together a book so you can read it on the john.

which i have recently found out, this book is Perfect for.

so perfect.

goldberg + sutter + sk smiff

outside of tsar is the used and i didnt see them on the phoney coachella list which is why i never mentioned it.

ive been on vacation since last wednesday and last night i didnt go to bed until 7am which is what happens sometimes on school nights, which is why it was nice when it happened on a vaction night, but now my clock is outta wack.

you dont care.

i also fucked up and watched Lost in the dark tonight with only the crackly fireplace to freak me out even more. popping and shooting embers across the bearskin rug.

what a great show.

i saw that guy on a scene and i was all, is that art mann? but then i just sorta blew it off.

now im creeped out and its almost 330am.

this work thing is a grind, kids. avoid it at all costs. maybe that one kid was right.

just fall in love in college and get married and just kiss for the rest of your life. dont get jobs.

jobs’ll just ruin you. they’ll crush your dreams. they’ll make you forget who you really are.

my belly aches.

damn icing i keep spooning right out of the can.

damn apple juice i keep sucking out of the bottle.

ive changed my mind about not running for president. i figured out a way i can singlehandedly win the election for myself or hillary clinton in four years.

i will give it to hillary if she taps me with a magic wand and declares that i dont have to work any more.

so heres the secret, hil.

run on the platform that you will give 50 year prison terms to people who write and send out spyware, viruses, and pop up ads.

if blahblahblah says, but sen clinton, what about health care?

all she has to say is i will give 50 year prison terms to people who write and send out spyware, viruses, and pop up ads.

abortion?

i will give 50 year prison terms to people who write and send out spyware, viruses, and pop up ads.

and spammers get hung.

like in olden times.

my girl’d win in a landslide.

monique + wil wheaton + zulieka + ironmouth

about the new worstseller how to blog:

raymi: why the hell would i want to interview you if you have a picture of britney as your icon? are u trying to piss me right off?

raymi: kidding

dumbass of america: it’s her birthday, show a little love!

raymi: ok this has to be a quick interview because i have to walk into town to drink some of my cheap beers before we drive to a concert

raymi: ok i dont want a picture of some old man with a yankee hat on

raymi: ok next question

dumbass of america: do you love me?

raymi: yes

dumbass of america: great

raymi: are you needy today?

dumbass of america: only a little

dumbass of america says: how about you

raymi says: i am glad that you suggested that boy buy me beers one time because he did it and i had no money and it was like wow this whole blogging thing works in the real world i totally forgot

raymi says: oh i am always needy but whatever this “interview” is about you

raymi says: ok so this is another blook right

dumbass of america says: yes its another blook

dumbass of america says: this one is way different though

raymi says: like it is less shitty than the first one?

dumbass of america says:cuz the first one was “This Is How Shitty Your First Year Will Be.”

dumbass of america says: exactly

raymi says: oh u have to put the “i chose raymi as best blogger” thing up again so people can know about it and i can brag about it to people who have no idea about blogs and hopefully get them to give me money or something

dumbass of america says: done

dumbass of america says: im so sorry about that btw

raymi says: ok so like are you going to do anything to change your life ever

dumbass of america says: im in the process

dumbass of america says: i am applying for new jobs

dumbass of america says: that normally changes everything

raymi says: i dont care tony like i only have to get upset about something for a little while and then i am over it

raymi says: well are u going to move away from that fucking hollywood sign?

dumbass of america says: never

dumbass of america says: my rent is so cheap my landlord keeps trying to figure out ways to evict me. never once does he say, here’s a bag of money: leave!

raymi says: do u know any sceinonologists?

dumbass of america says: i met beck’s brother once. he played me midnight vultures months before it came out. thats about as close as i got.

raymi says: are u losing all of your hair yet?

dumbass of america says: i shaved it off a while ago

raymi says: are you sensitive about that question.

dumbass of america says: only a little

dumbass of america says: but not really

dumbass of america says: i know im olde

dumbass of america says: you really dont read me much do you?

raymi says: i do but u are like confusing u have all these links and pictures and i am always looking for stuff about me

raymi says: and then there are all these hollywood pictures and i am like yaaaaawn

raymi says: u need to talk about other stuff

dumbass of america says: well i could easilly make a I Heart Raymi blog but then people get the wrong idea

dumbass of america says: what should i write about?

raymi says: like i know u work for the xbi or whatever and maybe have access to secret stuff but i guess that works for boring lame people who care about current events in media and sports

raymi says: um write less about girls who come over to yer apt to be all i heart tony because then yer guy readers will be like i hate tony

dumbass of america says: i have no access to secret stuff thru the xbi

raymi says: like i think yer readers would want tony to grow up and get married or have a steady girl who isnt 14 yrs old and goes to vegas to buy halloween costumes because she has dumb hair

dumbass of america says: yikes

dumbass of america says: that was years ago baby

raymi says: ok well u live in hollywood and have access to weird people?

dumbass of america says: all i have access to is the internet

dumbass of america says: i have all the same access as anyone

raymi says: i know it was years ago but there are only so many things i can remember

raymi says: ok well then fine i am already forgetting the point i was trying to make

dumbass of america says: but since you bring her up

dumbass of america says: i dated ashley*, who was young, i will admit that

dumbass of america says: but i havent even really talked to her in like a year or two

dumbass of america says: but we loved each other

dumbass of america says: im no agist

dumbass of america says: and theres stuff in the new book about us breaking up

raymi says: well dating young is fine, just dont date dumb-young

raymi says: i like looking at those pictures though kuz even tho i hate celebrities i love looking at their cleavages

dumbass of america says: oh i have some nude courtney love pics then

raymi says: ok she is boring i dont care next question

raymi says: do u have a negative body image?

dumbass of america says: no

dumbass of america says: i like my bod

dumbass of america says: i have a little hairy belly that all the girls seem to like

dumbass of america says: my dick works fine

dumbass of america says: my ass sorta smells occassionally

dumbass of america says: but everything else seems pretty normal

raymi says: dude people reading this interview are going to be like tony thinks he is a porn star

raymi says: anyway

dumbass of america says: god i wish. maybe in heaven where it;s kosher.

raymi says: ok so when are u going to go to canada

raymi says: and completely come undone

raymi says: do u feel safe in los angeles

raymi says: are u afraid of the east side

dumbass of america says: i live on the east side of hollywood

dumbass of america says: eassside up, wessside down

raymi says: i am talking about the futhafuckin east coast

dumbass of america says: i feel totally safe in LA cuz i dress like a gangsta

dumbass of america says: oh that easside

dumbass of america says: only reason i want to go to TO is to see you in your natural domain

dumbass of america says: and get doubleteamed by terra and paige

raymi says: like u are um biggie and we are 2pac or whatever i think

raymi says: who the hell are terra and paige

dumbass of america says: im nwa

dumbass of america says: two youngsters in TO

raymi says: gross

raymi says: i mean

raymi says: are they lame

dumbass of america says: youre a youngster too babydoll

dumbass of america says: no theyre great

raymi says: am i older than they are

dumbass of america says: by maybe one year

raymi says: ok so i can boss them around and stuff?

raymi says: do they think they are better than me?

dumbass of america says: in my fantasies you boss us all around

raymi says: nice.

dumbass of america says: i wouldnt visit anyone who thought htat

raymi says: woah awesome.

dumbass of america says:

can i tell you something off the record

raymi says: i like that blogs are like highschool and i get to be the leader even though everyone is like i hate her

raymi says: tell it

dumbass of america says: [secret]

raymi says: and…

dumbass of america says: [secret]

raymi says: hhahah

raymi says: thanks

dumbass of america says: ok back to being on the record

dumbass of america says: isnt that weird though?>

raymi says: no

dumbass of america says: great

raymi says: ok lets stop being pervy

dumbass of america says: ok

raymi says: well i think it is kuz people get mega obsessed ove my pssy

dumbass of america says: msn chat does this to me

raymi says: its like a young looking one

dumbass of america says: i like your ass more

dumbass of america says: im not sure ive seen it though

raymi says: yeh well im all over perfect i guess

dumbass of america says: oh wait yea i have

dumbass of america says: ahahaha

raymi says: heheh

dumbass of america says: what would you change to your bod if you could?

raymi says: love handles and upper arms

raymi says: make them firmer

raymi says: they got firmer overthe summer when i was hyper longboarding and shit

dumbass of america says: baby youre so fine, dont change a thing

raymi says: ok then dont ask me that question juzt to come back with that

raymi says: every girl has her insecurities

raymi says: doi

raymi says: ok i seriously have to go drink beer now

dumbass of america says: ok seriously thanks for interviewing me

dumbass of america says: one last question

dumbass of america says: how do you like that nirvana box set?

raymi says: i do not own it my friend owns it and i like it just fine’

raymi says: ok xo

thanks raymi!

pretty much

how to blog by tony pierce, 110

1. write every day.

2. if you think youre a good writer, write twice a day.

3. dont be afraid to do anything. infact if youre afraid of something, do it. then do it again. and again.

4. cuss like a sailor.

5. dont tell your mom, your work, your friends, the people you want to date, or the people you want to work for about your blog. if they find out and you’d rather they didnt read it, ask them nicely to grant you your privacy.

6. have comments. dont be upset if no one writes in your comments for a long time. eventually they’ll write in there. if people start acting mean in your comments, ask them to stop, they probably will.

7. have an email address clearly displayed on your blog. sometimes people want to tell you that you rock in private.

8. dont worry very much about the design of your blog. image is a fakeout.

9. use Blogger. it’s easy, it’s free; and because they are owned by Google, your blog will get spidered better, you will show up in more search results, and more people will end up at your blog. besides, all the other blogging software & alternatives pretty much suck.

10. use spellcheck unless youre completely totally keeping it real. but even then you might want to use it if you think you wrote something really good.

11. say exactly what you want to say no matter what it looks like on the screen. then say something else. then keep going. and when youre done, re-read it, and edit it and hit publish and forget about it.

12. link like crazy. link anyone who links you, link your favorites, link your friends. dont be a prude. linking is what seperates bloggers from apes. and especially link if you’re trying to prove a point and someone else said it first. it lends credibility even if youre full of shit.

13. if you havent written about sex, religion, and politics in a week youre probably playing it too safe, which means you probably fucked up on #5, in which case start a second blog and keep your big mouth shut about it this time.

14. remember: nobody cares which N*Sync member you are, what State you are, which Party of Five kid you are, or which Weezer song you are. the second you put one of those things on your blog you need to delete your blog and try out for the marching band. similarilly, nobody gives a shit what the weather is like in your town, nobody wants you to change their cursor into a butterfly, nobody wants to vote on whether your blog is hot or not, and nobody gives a rat ass what song youre listening to. write something Real for you, about you, every day.

15. dont be afraid if you think something has been said before. it has. and better. big whoop. say it anyway using your own words as honestly as you can. just let it out.

16. get Site Meter and make it available for everyone to see. if you’re embarrassed that not a lot of people are clicking over to your page, dont be embarrassed by the number, be embarrassed that you actually give a crap about hits to your gay blog. it really is just a blog. and hits really dont mean anything. you want Site Meter, though, to see who is linking you so you can thank them and so you can link them back. similarilly, use Technorati, but dont obsess. write.

17. people like pictures. use them. save them to your own server. or use Blogger’s free service. if you dont know how to do it, learn. also get a Buzznet account. several things will happen once you start blogging, one of them is you will learn new things. thats a good thing.

18. before you hit Save as Draft or Publish Post, select all and copy your masterpiece. you are using a computer and the internet, shit can happen. no need to lose a good post.

19. push the envelope in what youre writing about and how youre saying it. be more and more honest. get to the root of things. start at the root of things and get deeper. dig. think out loud. keep typing. keep going. eventually you’ll find a little treasure chest. every time you blog this can happen if you let it.

20. change your style. mimic people. write beautiful lies. dream in public. kiss and tell. finger and tell. cry scream fight sing fuck and dont be afraid to be funny. the easiest thing to do is whine when you write. dont be lazy. audblog at least once a week.

21. write open letters. make lists. call people out on their bullshit. lead by example. invent and reinvent yourself. start by writing about what happened to you today. for example today i told a hot girl how wonderfully hot she is.

22. when in doubt review something. theres not enough reviews on blogs. review a movie you just saw, a tv show, a cd, a kiss you just got, a restaurant, a hike you just took, anything.

23. constantly write about the town that you live in.

24. out yourself. tell your secrets. you can always delete them later.

25. dont use your real name. dont write about your work unless you dont care about getting fired.

26. dont be afraid to come across as an asswipe. own your asswipeness.

27. nobody likes poems. dont put your poems on your blog. not even if theyre incredible. especially if theyre incredible. odds are theyre not incredible. bad poems are funny sometimes though, so fine, put youd dumb poems on there. whatever.

28. tell us about your friends.

29. dont apologize about not blogging. nobody cares. just start blogging again.

30. read tons of blogs and leave nice comments.

31. if you’re going to ripoff/mimic/be inspired by one blogger make it raymi, shes perfect.

– from the newly released book, how to blog

fimoculous’s best of 2004 lists + chokey chicken + found on floor + vanmega

yesterday as he ratted out barry bonds while admitting to taking steroids.

its bad to sell out. its really bad to stick a needle in your arm even though youre one of the best power hitters in the game. and it’s pretty much unforgiveable to sign a $100+ mil contract with the yankees.

but outting a fellow baseball player is completely unforgiveable.

the correct answer is no answer.

take the lumps.

and i have no love for barry bonds. please dont get me wrong. but there are certain codes among men.

not to mention union men.

from today’s sfgate:

The Giambis were among more than two dozen elite athletes summoned to San Francisco last year to testify in the federal investigation centered on the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative, a Burlingame nutritional business suspected of distributing “designer” steroids to elite athletes. In February, the grand jury indicted Anderson, BALCO founder Victor Conte and two other men on charges of conspiracy to distribute steroids and money laundering. They have pleaded not guilty.

Jeremy Giambi, a former A’s outfielder who spent 2004 with the minor league Las Vegas 51s, also told the BALCO grand jury that he had injected banned drugs received from Anderson, according to a transcript of his testimony.

Both Giambis testified that they had already used steroids before they met Anderson or heard of BALCO, and they said they were drawn to the trainer because of Bonds’ success.

Bonds has denied using steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs.

Jason Giambi hit 94 home runs in three seasons with the Yankees. But he played in fewer than half the team’s games this year, reportedly ill with an intestinal parasite and a benign tumor on his pituitary gland. His ties to BALCO fueled speculation that his illness was related to steroid use, but he told reporters in August that there was no connection.

In front of the grand jury, the Giambi brothers were instructed that they had been granted immunity from prosecution if they told the truth but faced perjury charges if they lied.

In his testimony, Jason Giambi told the grand jury he had used the injectable steroid Deca Durabolin “two years ago” — that is, in 2001, his last year with Oakland — after obtaining the drug from a source at a Gold’s Gym in Las Vegas.

Giambi said he had met Anderson in November 2002, when Bonds brought the trainer to join a group of big-leaguers on a barnstorming tour of Japan.

Giambi said he had queried Anderson about Bonds’ workout and health regimens.

“So I started to ask him: ‘Hey, what are the things you’re doing with Barry? He’s an incredible player. I want to still be able to work out at that age and keep playing,’ ” Giambi testified. “And that’s how the conversation first started.”

the dominoes are falling and theyre not going to stop until they bring down everyone with them and yesterday the first one fell and immediately he reached out to bring down the biggest one.

just like a bitch.

i believe giambi also broke the second rule of fight club.

when i start populating, the first thing i will tell my offspring if they show any interest in our national pasttime is, dont ever sign with the yankees.

and if im allowed to say something more to them i will advise them to never rat out their fellow ballplayers.

under any circumstances.

and if they ask me why, i will simply say

you dont want to be a dirty giambi do ya?

and they will shudder

like good little children.

xenoverse + offline adventures + ashmans blog

you have given me so much i cant even believe it.

first there was the porn, then the free music, then rotiserrie baseball, online gambling, friendster, the smoking gun, and now the blogosphere.

i dont dare ask you for anything more, but alas i will because i know that at your root you love to give.

currently i have a nasty bit of spyware that i cannot remove. i have norton antivirus going, i have the google toolbar, i have spy bot and ad-aware se with the vx2 cleaner.

when i scan Hijack This, this is what i get:

Logfile of HijackThis v1.97.7

Scan saved at 9:17:39 PM, on 12/1/2004

Platform: Windows XP (WinNT 5.01.2600)

MSIE: Internet Explorer v6.00 (6.00.2600.0000)

Running processes:

C:\WINDOWS\System32\smss.exe

C:\WINDOWS\system32\winlogon.exe

C:\WINDOWS\system32\services.exe

C:\WINDOWS\system32\lsass.exe

C:\WINDOWS\system32\svchost.exe

C:\WINDOWS\System32\svchost.exe

C:\Program Files\Sygate\SPF\smc.exe

C:\WINDOWS\system32\rundll32.exe

C:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\ccSetMgr.exe

C:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\SNDSrvc.exe

C:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\SPBBC\SPBBCSvc.exe

C:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\ccEvtMgr.exe

C:\WINDOWS\Explorer.EXE

C:\WINDOWS\system32\spoolsv.exe

C:\WINDOWS\SOUNDMAN.EXE

C:\Program Files\Common Files\Logitech\QCDriver2\LVCOMS.EXE

C:\Program Files\Winamp\winampa.exe

C:\PROGRA~1\BILLPS~1\WINPAT~1\winpatrol.exe

C:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\ccApp.exe

C:\Program Files\Norton AntiVirus\navapsvc.exe

C:\Program Files\Norton AntiVirus\IWP\NPFMntor.exe

C:\WINDOWS\System32\spauthserv.exe

C:\WINDOWS\System32\svchost.exe

C:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\CCPD-LC\symlcsvc.exe

C:\WINDOWS\System32\MsPMSPSv.exe

C:\Program Files\Messenger\msmsgs.exe

C:\Program Files\iTunes\iTunes.exe

C:\Program Files\iPod\bin\iPodService.exe

C:\Program Files\AIM\aim.exe

C:\Program Files\Internet Explorer\iexplore.exe

C:\Program Files\Lavasoft\Ad-Aware SE Personal\Ad-Aware.exe

C:\Documents and Settings\Tony\Desktop\hijackthis\HijackThis.exe

R0 – HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\Main,Start Page = http://www.tonypierce.com/links.htm

O2 – BHO: (no name) – {AA58ED58-01DD-4d91-8333-CF10577473F7} – c:\program files\google\googletoolbar1.dll

O3 – Toolbar: Norton AntiVirus – {42CDD1BF-3FFB-4238-8AD1-7859DF00B1D6} – C:\Program Files\Norton AntiVirus\NavShExt.dll

O3 – Toolbar: &Google – {2318C2B1-4965-11d4-9B18-009027A5CD4F} – c:\program files\google\googletoolbar1.dll

O4 – HKLM\..\Run: [SoundMan] SOUNDMAN.EXE

O4 – HKLM\..\Run: [LVCOMS] C:\Program Files\Common Files\Logitech\QCDriver2\LVCOMS.EXE

O4 – HKLM\..\Run: [SmcService] C:\PROGRA~1\Sygate\SPF\smc.exe -startgui

O4 – HKLM\..\Run: [WinampAgent] C:\Program Files\Winamp\winampa.exe

O4 – HKLM\..\Run: [WinPatrol] C:\PROGRA~1\BILLPS~1\WINPAT~1\winpatrol.exe

O4 – HKLM\..\Run: [ccApp] “C:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\ccApp.exe”

O4 – HKLM\..\Run: [SSC_UserPrompt] C:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\Security Center\UsrPrmpt.exe

O4 – HKLM\..\Run: [Symantec NetDriver Monitor] C:\PROGRA~1\SYMNET~1\SNDMon.exe

O4 – Startup: dsl.lnk = ?

O4 – Global Startup: Microsoft Office.lnk = C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Office10\OSA.EXE

O8 – Extra context menu item: &Google Search – res://C:\Program Files\Google\GoogleToolbar1.dll/cmsearch.html

O8 – Extra context menu item: Backward Links – res://C:\Program Files\Google\GoogleToolbar1.dll/cmbacklinks.html

O8 – Extra context menu item: Cached Snapshot of Page – res://C:\Program Files\Google\GoogleToolbar1.dll/cmcache.html

O8 – Extra context menu item: E&xport to Microsoft Excel – res://C:\PROGRA~1\MICROS~2\Office10\EXCEL.EXE/3000

O8 – Extra context menu item: Similar Pages – res://C:\Program Files\Google\GoogleToolbar1.dll/cmsimilar.html

O8 – Extra context menu item: Translate into English – res://C:\Program Files\Google\GoogleToolbar1.dll/cmtrans.html

O9 – Extra ‘Tools’ menuitem: Sun Java Console (HKLM)

O9 – Extra button: AIM (HKLM)

O16 – DPF: {166B1BCA-3F9C-11CF-8075-444553540000} (Shockwave ActiveX Control) – http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/director/sw.cab

O16 – DPF: {30528230-99F7-4BB4-88D8-FA1D4F56A2AB} (YInstStarter Class) – http://download.yahoo.com/dl/installs/yinst0401.cab

O16 – DPF: {41F17733-B041-4099-A042-B518BB6A408C} – http://a1408.g.akamai.net/7/1408/9955/20031218/akamai.info.apple.com/iTunes4/WW/win/019-0123.20031218.zes4d/iTunesSetup.exe

O16 – DPF: {4C39376E-FA9D-4349-BACC-D305C1750EF3} (EPUImageControl Class) – http://tools.ebayimg.com/eps/wl/activex/EPUWALControl_v1-0-3-17.cab

O16 – DPF: {62475759-9E84-458E-A1AB-5D2C442ADFDE} – http://a1540.g.akamai.net/7/1540/52/20030530/qtinstall.info.apple.com/abarth/us/win/QuickTimeInstaller.exe

O16 – DPF: {6414512B-B978-451D-A0D8-FCFDF33E833C} (WUWebControl Class) – http://v5.windowsupdate.microsoft.com/v5consumer/V5Controls/en/x86/client/wuweb_site.cab?1101934319748

O16 – DPF: {7DD62E58-5FA8-11D2-AFB7-00104B64F126} (Sview Control) – https://www.instantpublisher.com/ip/SoftwareInstalls/svinstall_a_stat_ics.cab

O16 – DPF: {D27CDB6E-AE6D-11CF-96B8-444553540000} (Shockwave Flash Object) – http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab

O16 – DPF: {EE5CA45C-BFAC-48E6-BE6C-3C607620FF43} – http://companion.logitech.com/companion/logitech/ver1.3.1.2083/bin/imvid.cab

O16 – DPF: {F04A8AE2-A59D-11D2-8792-00C04F8EF29D} (Hotmail Attachments Control) – http://by7fd.bay7.hotmail.msn.com/activex/HMAtchmt.ocx

O17 – HKLM\System\CCS\Services\Tcpip\..\{7AA9F031-5AB6-4240-B721-B3A9A331B0CC}: NameServer = 206.13.29.12 206.13.30.12

the popup tries to go to a-d-aware.com but since that is blocked it finds an unblocked site and pops up.

please internet, let me know how i can fix this annoying problem.

also, does anyone have a torrent of tonight’s Lost episode? i cant believe i didnt tivo it. thnx clippergirl!

xoxoxox,

tony

xtracyx + panama jane + isou

opened up the gmail and saw that the company that im interviewing with is 90% sure that they can hire me sometime next year. responsibilities? oh writing once a day for them on their site, finding good young writers for their publication, and taking pictures of people on hollywood blvd.

dont you wish some of this blog was true?

then i got another email from one of my favorite tv shows that said that they wanted to interview me during a 7 minute segment. about what? oh, about my book. two weeks before christmas!

then i was just clicking around the blogosphere and i read something very interesting. a way i could make some money via this blog without having to have ads. and a prominent high-tech innovator was heading it all up. so i read the deal and i wrote to the correct email address to see if they were still looking for people to participate and a half hour later this is what i got back:

Dude

I would fall down on the fucking floor, lick it clean for awhile, seduce ANY number of your harem and play baseball with Shaq for the honor of paying you to work with us.

P.S. Been a big fan – for years. You rock dude.

unbelievable.

when i am allowed to mention the names involved i think you will be pretty amazed too.

i present these things to you not to tease, but as an experiment.

as you know everything on this blog is a science experiment and this one is to find out if you can jinx things.

so lets keep score

1. big job with extremely cool company

2. tv show appearance in a few weeks

3. side project involving this blog

i say all three will come through despite writing about them before they hit fruition.

40 sold in 6 days + zulieka is still pregnant + jaime is very kind + welch picks my boy for the hall