actually i think toyota has a nearly impossible job right now and they can either fish or cut bait and i take my hat off to them for sticking to the program.
i think these are funny ads speaking to families interested in mini vans
however wihtout addressing the elephant in the room (safety) which has got to be one of the top three objections theyve got to overcome, theyve failed.
all these commercials do is tell me that toyota has a sense of humor
but does that mean there will be a clown in the courtroom when they have to face the impending class action lawsuits?
what families probably want to hear right now in commercials about mini vans is that these heavy vehicles filled with the most precious cargo will behave as vehicles should: they will move when we hit the gas and stop when we hit the brakes.
as hilar as these spots are, they dont even come close to convincing us of that, which means they wont help sales. sorry.
but i am so relieved that the actress mom can make cupcakes that look like pigs.
now that i think of it, maybe toyota should just cut bait for a while.
but the truth of the matter is often i am finding myself late for work so i hop in the car and speed down sunset to downtown and park my ride in the garage.
over the years i have reported on many an abandoned car (usually sports cars) that sit and collect dust and dirt and get written on.
now i dont mind if you park your car in our garage and fuggetaboutit, or use our garage as a storage facility for your rolling property that you dont want your wife to know about
but if youre just gonna use the garage as a storage place, must you park it right next to the elevators? thats some prime real estate for those of us who use the garage daily.
i think its rude to use such a great spot so we can all walk past your dirty little car.
which makes me happy when people do things like this to the cars.
i do love my coworkers.
oh so much.
and im glad that they have a nice sunny day today in which to wield some more mischief.
some people have asked, how come theres no Ask Tony every Friday the way their used to be.
and i say, yo buddy, wasnt it you who suggested that i do the Ask Me Anything link on the left hand side of this blog? it allows you to pick my brain any day of the week, not just fridays.
use it, or lose it, which i know is something that she said, but it might be appropos because that link is sure looking like that car above.
the party pooper clock always comes around when its least invited.
anyways drove out to the wessside. not sure why i was doing it. maybe cuz they said please.
not sure what i was in store for.
but it was in a good hotel. one i saw renovated from the outside and always wanted to see from the innards.
and man they did a great job.
suddenly i realized i was at something that had all the markings of a schmoozefest.
if theres one thing people dont believe when i tell, is im black. but i have proof about that one.
the other thing they dont believe is im painfully shy. problem with that one is i fake at not being shy sooooo well.
so here i was at this mixer, meet n greet, whatever it is, im gonna have to look back at the invite cuz man did they sucker me into this thing that no way would i have gone to if i had known what it was gonna be.
it was a very nice room, a patio, a bartender, and a sneaky missing bush that led to the pool and cabana in the back.
and all the people inside were founders of companies youve heard of, or presidents, or total babes, or vice presidents.
zero riff raff.
we have an old joke at the xbi. look to the left, look to the right, if you dont see any riff raff youre it.
since most of us didnt know each other, and since almost everyone wanted to meet new people, everyone wore name tags (provided) where you had to write your name and your company. weird thing about my company is it instantly makes me not look like im riff raff.
so there was super shy riff raff being involved in some extremely interesting conversations and instead of me getting all nervous inside, everyone else was stuttering and messing up because for some reason they thought i was gonna write down their sweet secrets and tell the world. i wanted to say something like “im drinking. either i drink or i work but i dont do both, relax.” but why say something stupid like that?
everyone seemed to know a lot about my company, and weirdly i knew a lot about theirs, even the little ones.
really hard to rank which person i met who was the most interesting, but one lady i met, and this is why its insane to judge books by their covers, appeared to be at least 20 years older than the rest of the crowd. she wore a tshirt from a company she doesnt even work for. and explained she liked that it matched her pants.
after a minute it was revealed that she has homes around the world and got one in a tropical isle because it was in between one town half way across the world and LA. we talked about sushi and i asked her favorite in LA and she told me about one that she says is cheap. i tolder i was new to eating sushi, but it appeared to me that in LA you have to pay a lot to get good fish and she said
you can always find a great deal
on anything.
you just have to look around.
a little while later these two dudes recognized each other and one guy yelled out really loudly and i winced because it was probably the lamest greeting ive ever heard. so bad my brain cannot even recall it right now because it protects me from such things.
before i left i said so long to the host who asked me if i enjoyed meeting anyone. i told him yes. he asked who. i went down a little short list and he said, have you met this beautiful woman behind you?
and america i swear i said, dude i have a long drive home. i cant meet one more person.
but he insisted, and i met this 24 year old singer songwriter who won a contest where the prize was she got to sing during a super bowl commercial and she was given a record deal.
after looking over the deal with this major label, she passed, and gets millions of views on her youtube vids.
this video, for example has gotten 1.6 million views in less than 3 months.
i was all, oh so do you play shows at places like the Hotel Cafe. and she was all omg im playing there in a few weeks!
she handed me her cd which she put out independently and btw gorgeous and i looked at the back of it and didnt notice any songs and i said, cuz im a bozo and should just stay at home 24/7, i dont see any covers do you ever do any covers?
and she said not on this cd, thats all originals, but on youtube i have about 40 or so videos that are just cover songs.
drove home down the 10 listening to howard stern interview willie nelson
so content i hadnt realized i didnt eat dinner, just dry cheerios and now its past bedtime.
ive sat at my desk a total of 5 mintues today. definitely not what i expected.
youd think if any blog could do a proper tribute to k* on this, her most important day of the year itd be this one, but no, ive failed. again, as per usual
why are people even friends with me? aint my money, aint my fast cars, aint my rims
aint my taste in fine wines, or my immaculate grammar skillz
i met karisa a long time ago at a truckstop outside Baker, California. she was selling warm diet cokes in the triple digit heat. she had a bikini top on and a line around the block.
since then shes been the longest friend ive had who wasnt a girlfriend and who didnt go to school with me.
its sorta crazy really.
karisas inspired me, this blog, and so many things in my life more than anyone except my truest, the bible or the devil. so for that reason she probably deserves two posts today.
even though we’ve known each other something like a decade now, seems like nearly every day i am learning something new about her. sometimes its totally disgusting things like she has webbed toes sometimes its completely amazing like shes secretly canadian.
gotta say of all my friends, karisa and i have the weirdest deal. sometimes i’ll see her a bunch, sometimes not for months on end. actually thats like all my friends.
im glad i was never roommates with her because she doesnt watch the best tv shows.
Lost yeah, but all the other shows are people going through major transformations, houses going through major transformations, history going through major transitions. makes me a little jittery of what the next new thing i will learn about her will be.
right now its about 26 minutes after midnight and shes still at work. so you have learned something new about karisa: she needs a male stripper to visit her workplace ASAP.
Bob D: TP3- What would you do to fix Aramis and DLee?
Aramis has the best incentive ever right now, it’s his contract year. but personally i dont want him to do great this year. in fact id like him to be healthy and hit .230 and only hit 7 homers. i want the cubbies to be able to resign him for the lowest price they can. DLee is another story. he just needs to keep his elbow in and stop stepping into the bucket.
Will Campbell: Any news about your wandering bike? Gonna replace it?
for the exception of you will campbell, there are very few people who ride bikes who dont annoy me. maybe because i grew up in the suburbs and rode my bikes everywhere, im done with biking. great childhood. no need to relive it. im also through collecting baseball cards.
not only am i glad my bike was stolen, but i find it interesting that of all of the things in my house, my bike would be second on my list of things that id want stolen. my trash would be number one.
not only do i not miss my bike, but now i want a new camaro and an old motorcycle.
interesting detail about the bike and easter basket being stolen. my maid came through the other day and i noticed my easter basket was under my bed. my bad.
Gage: what annoys you, I mean REALLY annoys you? And what makes your day?
annoyances: slow drivers, complicated atm transactions performed by the befuddled in front of me, and super hot babes who should be making out with me who arent making out with me.
day makers: i read a lot. newspapers, magazines, blogs. sometimes all it takes is one great line from any of those sources and it will last with me all day.
odd curiosity: it still fascinates me that the smartest people i know, many of whom read far more than me, dont read the bible. or have never read it in its entirety. they’ll read the classics, the latest tomes, even trash novels, but never the good book. not seriously. i dont understand it. youd think theyd be the ones who would read it just to shut up all the wackos who intentionally misread it and affect the world. but nope, they pretty much allow the nuts to be the experts in a field they rarely venture into: ancient literature.
Vinny: 2 part question – has Jim Carey actually gone crazy? and can I be a link on the side?
the man who talks out of his rear who just broke up with jenny mccarthy is perfectly sane. youre now 102. if you can change your link to blog.tonypierce.com that would be swell.
Just Me: Well Done on the chat Tony!
chat is my natural environment. not in person, not on the phone, not via telegraph. chat. foreverz. its the one thing i kick both mark twain and hemingway in the butt.
timmmmmmay: how many HRs will david ortiz finish with this year?????
17. hes old. hes fat. hes got no juice in him. and if you have him in one of my leagues make me an offer and i will take him off yr hands. hes still papi and papis got pop. 27.
Chris: Have you ever posted a blog, thought it sucked, deleted it, then regretted the fact that you deleted it?
i dont like deleting blog posts. neil young said even if he hits a bad note its ok because it was real for that moment. Later he got interviewed by Guitar Player magazine. I think in ’96. he talked about the music as a whole:
JO: What do you look for in a solo?
NY: Elevation. You can feel it. That’s all I’m looking for. You can tell I don’t care about bad notes. I listen for the whole band on my solos. You can call it a solo because that’s a good way to describe it, but really it’s an instrumental. It’s the whole band that’s playing.
you should be thinking about two things when you blog. mostly you should be thinking about the moment at hand, but you should also try to think as the blog as a whole.
with that said ive only removed two posts from the busblog. both at the requests of the young ladies who served as subjects for the outlines. and they were great posts and i am sad they arent there.
Kris: Am I gonna find an awesometastic job soon, oh wise Tony?
probably not. times r tough. everythings crazy right now. the best place for young people right now is in school. get a bachelors. if you got one of those get a masters, phd. load up. when the economy comes back the floodgates will open and you can say i have a doctorate and i want a gazillion dollars and a pool boy. until then its tim hortens or hooters. ask anyone.
the only way is to get sloppy with several others. keyword: get. all this moping around, writing poems, feeling the depths of depression, etc – all thats played out. its the road most traveled. its for losers. its for the madding crowd. its for people who revolve their schedules around nickleback. first thing you should do this weekend is get a date, make some moves, and think about las vegas. yes you’ll feel horrible. but you were gonna feel horrible anyways. at least now when you wake up their will be stale champagne on the nightstand. and if youre lucky, it wont be all that stale.
all i know is i want a water bed and a hot tub and a view of the ocean.
i realize thats a lot of water, which i ironic because i have no intention of entering the ocean, ever again.
speaking of the ocean, heres a news story that is so LA. dude allegedly steals a Land Rover in Bel Air, gets pursued around Beverly Hills, gets on the freeway and drives to Santa Monica Pier where he jumps over the pier, into the sand, and runs into the ocean.
but contrary to popular belief, the pacific ocean can be damn cold, even if youre chiseled (like we are all here in LA) and suicidal.
best part of that vid, right near the end when you can see the cops’ red target light on the dude’s torso. so Terminator.
for some reason she didnt think it was a terrible idea to go to Dillons after drinking at the new W in hollywood and nibbling on sushi at the Geisha House.
this is now the third woman ive taken to this place staffed by young ladies in plunging shirts and short plaid skirts
and knee highs
and eyes you could drift away into
karisa, her dude, and her friends were also impressed by the joint that takes no reservations, has 50 beers on tap all for $3 a glass, and enjoys a casual mostly db-free clientele.
by the time we made it to dillons our bellies were already full of fish and sake, but still i ordered some makers mark to get the party seriously started.
sadly it spilled to the ground after a few minutes after a dude who was built like a rock bumped into me.
so huge I apologized to him.
later we all did irish car bombs and after we did i asked our waitress if i could take a photo of she and karisa so the world can see what yr girl looks like at 1:45am after countless drinks
we have an old joke at the xbi. look to the left, look to the right, if you dont see any riff raff youre it.
