have come to gaze at the lovliness and be inspired by the words.

do they drop a tip in the bucket?

do they write an email of love in my direction?

do they even leave a comment at the bottom of the post?

maybe they don’t know that they’re allowed to.

(you’re allowed to.)

if i was dick riordan i would just give my friends the money and hang on cuz life goes fast and my friends are about to soar.

sad thing about the former mayor, who owns the best diner in LA, whose waiters are ex-cons ive been told– if he doesnt finance the newspaper, my friends will find financing themselves and in knocking down the Times a few notches, they will utterly destroy any conservative courageousless competition in its way, specifically run by someone who got their undies in a bunch and lit a fire under their asses.

yesterday Rabbit hinted a nice hint about how she would want to write for the boys, Cathy Seipp gave a taste of how she would write for the new daily, Ben would make a great Business section editor but i like his tech stuff way better, Ru Paul could cover West Hollywood and you laugh but when did the Times ever pay any attention to one of the few real neighborhoods in this city and weho is wonderful, mc brown should have a weekly music column (as should kate) but marc could take pictures too, Bathtub Girl could give everyone massages and provide the ambient tunes, of course there would be illustrations and comics from todd, chris scheer could cover the LA Raiders even though they’ve moved to Oakland, emmanuelle would add a little je ne sais pas class, oh and ken and matt would cover the city in a way that hasnt happened in quite a while.

who knows, such a paper might even bring superstars like bonnie, charlie, and dooce out of retirement.

i’d be bummed if Drudge was invited, but im a team player, i would just go about my business, secretly thinking that a. beam is ten times better.

but dick, think about it, you even entertain the notion that middle aged guys with wives kids and mortgages can change the world, but when has that ever been the case outside of war? it’s the kids that make the difference and according to the rings around my trunk ive got about 15 more minutes to be a kid.

and why even bother listening to those in the established circles of journalism? of course they’re going to tell you that it’s a bad idea to compete head-to-head with the Times. those are the people who would look the most foolish if a paper did come out of nowhere and kicked ass– they’d look like the lazy slackers that they are.

there are only a handful of magical superstars who can do the job that you say you want done and we’re all right here right now for a reason, and never has that reason been louder or clearer until you showed up with your crazy little vision.

… and just imagine the web site.

me, i would cover the women’s tennis association.

im going to keep it up one more day now that it’s fixed. thanks charlie and kenny b. for your help.

tonight i thawed some frozen shrimp, added seasoning and made Shrimp D’ George on my newly acquired George Foreman grill. who doesnt like grilled shrimp?

served with a can of green beans and a baked potato, i really cant complain with the results.

anna lost in croatia yesterday. i didnt want to bring it up, but i thought i probably should.

ask me what color her top was.

go ahead.

blue.

why are these chicks so stubborn? what exactly is the point being made? that you will suffer to prove your independence?

we’re all independent.

now just put on the white top… burn the blue one! all you do is lose in that one… put on the white top and swallow your pride and win.

and smile.

karisa’s birthday is saturday. her mom and sister came out. we’re going to see sammy sosa tonight.

we’ve done so many things together its hard to believe ive only known her two years.

shes a killer friend and a wonderful person and i hope sammy waves at her mom.

“dude, we need to talk.” he said.

what?

“whats up with you putting your stats on your page? what are you showing off?” he started.

im not showing off, sonny, i just cant believe that last month i got 300,000 hits. it’s an all-time record for this site and im thanking the readers.

“bullshit. Bull-Shit! you’re showing off, you got all this popularity and instead of making something good out of it you’ve got to beat your chest and say, ‘see how cool i am!’ we know how cool you are, no need to bask in the glory of it all.”

thats not whats going on at all, doooode. there is very little to brag about or be proud about sitting at a computer and–

“and whats this Penthouse bullcrap?”

sonny, anna kournikova’s honor was being disrespected by a pornographer–

“who, you?”

no, not me, by bob guccionne. he said he had pictures of her and they werent her, so i had to expose it. fucking Drudge didnt say shit, and no “respectable” news organization is making a stand. all theyre doing is quoting her lawyer, who, of course is going to say it’s not her. but it really isnt her.

“so it takes you 35 pages to explain that? each one with a nuder and nuder picture of the little girl?”

all i was doing, you friggin hypocrite, was showing her a lot so that people who might not be as familiar as you and i are to her could see the alleged pictures of her and make a reasonable judgement.

“so you were doing a public service or some shit?”

yes, out of the goodness of my own heart.

“and if it was Charlotte Rae who Penthouse said they had pictures of, you’d dedicate 35 pages to her to?”

uh…

“youre so full of shit, tony pierce, i cant even believe you. how many hits did this scamola get you.”

its not a scamola yesterday i got 68,000 hits. my total for the year is close to a million already and we’re just in may.

“you’re a sell out, tony. plain and simple.”

thats your opinion, pin head. and as soon as im done with the poll on the left, where i am asking people what they want to see more of on the site (which, by the way, just as many people are saying to “leave it alone” as are saying “more naked chicks”) i will ask them if they think im a sell out.

“well, the only person whose opinion matters is–”

mine.

“wrong again.”

well, not yours.

“no, i was going to say, fuck head, is the opinoin of the next girl that you hit on. by the way, nice job breaking ashley’s heart. i bet you feel like a big man on that too. no wonder the mayor doesnt wanna work with any of you.”

go drink some more, asshole. youre an ugly drunk and really ugly sober.

“fine, and why dont you go put some more titties on your page and then ask people to give you a buck.”

maybe i will!

“oh wait, have them buy books off of amazon, or buy Dong Brothers tshirts?”

hey, they buy them somewhere, they may as well buy them through me.

“FRIENDS dvds?!!”

it’s the complete first season

“is tony even in there? fuck, you’re worse than U2, you preach one thing, but as soon as you have their confidence you hold out your hand. i hope you get athletes foot or some shit. karma, brotha, karma.”

whatever.

“and your baseball blog sucks.”

and when he went to piss in my toilet, i ran outside and let the air out of one of his tires.

no matter what i do i cant finish a photo essay or a web page or a series of webpages before 2am.

the problems that ensue are massive. first of all spelling and grammar are totally thrown out the window.

then, of course, shit like today happens. greg and molli and laura and i went to see the dodgers play last night. and here i am writing my blog from a helicopter high above the 405 from my palm pilot. i have downloaded my email and my buddy ken wrote me asking, “where the hell does your dodger page go to?”

i pull up the photo essay that i spent all night making, and lo and behold the first page doesnt have a link to anywhere.

im such an idiot.

this is why oliver willis gets way more hits than me, and why max power is listed on Instapundit list of links and im catering the purient interests for the almighty hit.

this page, patient readers, goes to this page. when they make Dreamweaver for the Palm Pilot i’ll be able to fix these problems from the road. in the meantime, let’s all give much love to the good people of Blogger.

and i’ll give my thanks to Greg’s poppa, my dear friends, and to you.

p.s. if you do click on the anna link about her being in Penthouse, there will be some nudity, sorry if i didnt make that clear yesterday.

after a night of putting together 30 some pictures of the most talked-about medicore tennis star, you think i’d be tired of her by now, but no.

i think it’s fascinating all the hoopla and hype around this young woman who has yet to win a tournament.

all this trouble because she looks like a swedish teen and doesnt mind wearing clothes two sizes too small.

we intellectual men, raised with structure and sensitivity, bred in an era where ERA was just as much a movement as a pitching statistic, have been taught to look deeper than the hypnotic blue eyes, slightly curved hips, muscular-yet-feminine legs, and cutesy-pie ponytail to find the real woman inside.

you’d think that this generation would be as interested in a woman’s beliefs and talents and intellect, and not just her flesh.

you’d think that in this information age where the average male web surfer of say, 25 years old, has seen far more images of naked girls that his father, his grandfather, and five generations of men before him combined, and therefore wouldnt bombard a site like this one that hinted to the possiblity of one more pair of… blue eyes.

but it’s not so.

yesterday a web page that was (un)fortunate enough to be ranked extremely high by Google when one typed in “anna kournikova nude” linked to this very blog as a sort of expert in all things anna. this blog was examined up and down by the visitors in a hungry quest to find the pictures of the young russian.

yesterday, unfortunately for the seekers, i had nothing for them to find.

today i do.

it’s not as cool as free ice cream night at Baskin Robbin’s tonight, but it’s the best i have to give.