hi, mr. spork man

good afternoon, tony balogna.

where are you going all dressed up like that, sharped dressed man?

oh, well, i just read sk smith’s live journal and any gal who has not one but two sporks is definitely my kinda woman.

whoa, pallie, hold your horses. shes got a man.

what’s her man gotta do with me?

come on, spork man, sara and dan have been sweet on each other since last century, bro.

then why is she putting out personal ads saying that she likes doing light housekeeping?

dude, i don’t know either. i think it’s fiction.

is that what dan was trying to say in that comment?

not sure, partner. i sorta got lost in those big words he throws around, but i think if it were over between those two she woulda gone through that bucket of chum in a heartbeat.

but im all dressed up!

and looking sharp too. but don’t get bummed out. theres lots of women out there who are dying to get a knock at the door from a man in a top hat carrying a six foot spork.

think so?

normally i would say that you look ridiculous, but for some reason this look works for you.

gee, thanks, tony.

let me send you over to moxie’s pad. now theres a girl who could use a little sporking.

what are you trying to say?

i’m saying she likes em well-dressed and rich, and just say that you’re jewish and you’ll be halfway home.

jewish? you cant spell spork without pork.

don’t spell it, then.

hmmm, im not so sure about this.

whattya got to lose?

my dignity.

hang on to your dignity then, tuxedo man with huge plastic utensil.

shut up

nice monocle too.

came with the hat. nice movie review.

you’re too kind.

seriously, no one writes movie reviews like you.

i know, they get caught up talking about the movie. who wants that?

not me, thats for sure.

people are telling me the beck record is good.

those people are crazy.

meesh liked “the secretary.”

does the suprise you?

i want to finish my book tonight.

how much of it do you have to go?

a lot.

that sucks.


how long are we gonna talk to each other like this?

till you tell me where you got your huge ass spork.

that’s easy, from ebay. they have the little ones right now, but you can find big ones there too.

k thanks!


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