people write me the best emails.

at first i would be upset whenever the comments were down, because it’s nice to get feedback from the people you’re writing to, especially if it’s positive.

this one girl wrote and said she loved my blog and misses my web site and i told her that once the carpal chills i can get back to the site. and she asked if i would like to come to her house one day, she says she has this really soft white furry rug and we can get high and lay on it and listen to old school madonna and led zep and i said just lay there and she wrote back and said we don’t have to just lay there. i told her that sometimes it’s nice just to lay there.

she said we can just lay there.

then she didn’t write until just now and she said that when she was in high school she and her friends would ditch sometimes and take off their shoes and walk around the city of angels barefooted which is safer than you’d think since no one really walks in la and i wrote back and i said i walk in la and she wrote back and said she knew and that’s why she was writing because she would want to walk with me on the streets of la and find water fountains and stick her little toes in there and i said my feet are quite sensitive but it all sounds very nice.

then this dude wrote me and said he had a very nice apartment with a big overstuffed chair and would i like to have some beers and listen to danzig with him and i said i would like to have beers i would like to hear danzig, but i think i would rather do that with the barefooted girl who just wrote me. he told me he wasn’t gay. i said it has nothing to do with that. he said sure it does. then he stopped writing,

then this other girl wrote me and said that she doesn’t have any money to give me a birthday present from my wishlist and she doesn’t have any money to pay pal my ass and she doesn’t have a digital camera or she’d send me a topless picture of herself so all she can send me is an ecard and i wrote her back saying that that is perfect. i said i don’t want any nudie digital pictures of anyone. but i told her to get back on the streets and get me my money! then she stopped writing abruptly and i didn’t get an ecard yet from her, but it’s early.

when i got back from the supply room there was another email from another reader of the busblog and she wanted to know if i had a girlfriend. i said no. she asked if i wanted a girlfriend. i said yes, please. she said, what’s up with ashley? i said shes still a lot younger than me and she still hasn’t dated any guys her age. she then said maybe you two are meant for each other. i said, no i don’t think we’re meant for each other. i said i cant imagine a vegetarian wanting eggs and bacon for breakfast and i love making breakfast on a nice sunday morning in my sombrero and kimono with a screwdriver waiting for me on the counter, and ashley isn’t really that type of girl. and im so not the right guy for her. its almost a little bit sad.

she then called me a womanizer and i wrote back and said that if i was a womanizer i would have a lot more stories to tell all of you. but right away the email bounced back and it made me wonder how she could cancel her email account that quickly.

but i guess anythings possible these days.

who knew madonna would end up such a terrific and responsible English mum?

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