i guess i shouldnt joke about the east coast sniper

but thats what i do when im nervous, or happy, or i dont know what else to do: i joke.

and i understand that people are a little on edge out there by dc, where i was born, where i had some good times as a little kid, and ive seen people crouched over trying not to get sniped while pumping their gas or watering their lawns, or by just going on with their lives.

but to blame entertainment, or the media, or tv or the movies is really crazy. cain slew able. how many tvs did they have at adam and eve’s house? i dont even think they had cable and cain murdered his brother in cold blood.

doesnt anyone read the Good Book any more?

one of the purposes of that story is to teach us that humans have had evil and murderous tendencies long before “The Sopranos” got on HBO or N.W.A busted with “Straight Outta Compton.” if anything, that story teaches us that we dont even need one ounce of outside stimuli. all we need to be is alive.

i seriously doubt that the dc sniper has a den full of Jon Claude Van Damme movies, or is a huge fan of Peckinpah, or can’t wait for the next John Woo film. i bet he’s just an asshole with a rifle.

those are the worst kinds, of course, but they’re out there, and sometimes they cross that line and cause a little mahem.

i understand where the person who put that sign next to those flowers is coming from, but it’s not the answer.

i love Reservoir Dogs so much and if Quentin ever came to me and asked me to help him make his next movies more violent and funny and sordid and dark, i would drop everything and help because there are so few Good movies like Quentin’s first three (i count True Romance even if he doesnt.) but that doesnt mean that you’ll ever see me with a gun. not even as a joke.

the answer for preventing the snipers of the world is communication.

i think it was schleshinger who said that new york was the lonliest place in the world because of all the people.

maybe it wasnt, but it’s so true. the smaller the town, the more people know each other. the bigger, the easier it is to just ignore people.

im not saying a hug would stop people from shooting each other, but a hug and someone to hang out with probably would.

maybe the government should couple up everyone with a BuddyBuddy.

if you get pulled over, the cop asks you, “where’s your buddy?” and the cop calls him up and tells him that he’s got a speeding ticket too.

ive got a great friend who used to joke about killing herself and i said, if you do, then i have to kill myself too. and it stopped her from being able to use that as an excuse.

of course it only works if you have a buddy who you like.

ive gotta catch a bus now. i’ll fix the rest of the world after dinner.

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